Advice for a new baby and bedsharing - Mothering Forums
Co-sleeping and the Family Bed > Advice for a new baby and bedsharing
lulubikes's Avatar lulubikes 11:13 AM 08-09-2012

Hi everyone -


I'm pregnant with my first baby, due in December and will definitely be cosleeping. I'm leaning towards bedsharing and want some advice from familys with experience! I've read the official bed-sharing safety rules. Honestly the seem a little over the top to me. I'm wondering how bedsharing with a newborn worked for you.


Things I'm thinking of - do we really need to put our bed on the floor and up against a wall?

I like my fluffy down comforter and my pillows - where will the baby go? Do I have to get rid of them?

Does the baby go under or on top of the blankets?

What does the baby sleep in (clothing, sleep sack, swaddled, other?)

My DH would like to get a co-sleeper and I'm thinking it might be nice to have, but I'd rather have the baby closer.

DH is worried about there being room in the bed (we have a queen and our room isn't big enough for a larger bed).


Your experience and advice is much appreciated!

AmandaT's Avatar AmandaT 12:42 PM 08-09-2012


lulubikes's Avatar lulubikes 09:02 PM 08-11-2012

Thank you Amanda for sharing your experience!

sundaya's Avatar sundaya 06:45 PM 08-12-2012

I've bedshared with 2, and still do :) We've never moved the bed to the floor, for various reasons. DH built a changing table/wall on 1 side, though, so it's kind of a permanent bed-rail. We're in a king, with a 3 1/2 year old and a 1 year old now. Plenty of space. Two children and me smooshed into 2 feet, the rest of the bed for DH :)


What I do with a newborn: DH and I kept separate blankets. I tucked my blanket around my waist. During the winter, I wore one of several long john tops that I cut the front off of-  kept my back and arms comfy warm, and babe had full and easy access. I have always and will always use a pillow. I slept on my side, with babe facing me, usually over an arm, but sometimes with my arm up and under the pillow under my head. I was very careful to make sure that baby's head was well below pillow, and put my face on the edge of the pillow, so most of it was behind me, if that makes sense. Really, they want to be eye level with boob, not looking into your face. And I have always been super aware of baby at night. I would never, in the early days, drink and "drive the bed" as we called it. I don't think I was comfortable with a glass of wine at bedtime until they were 4 or 5 months old, maybe later?


I also had an Arm's Reach co-sleeper. They make a great place to put things in the middle of the night, like snacks, an extra pair of babies ever actually have slept in ours. I remember so well how everything seems a bit foreign and strange right now, but you will work things out in ways you haven't even thought of yet.

pammysue's Avatar pammysue 10:24 PM 08-12-2012


-We did not put our bed on the floor but the top was against with the wall. I did/do regularly check the mattress is flush with the wall.

-I did not stop using a pillow, but I always made sure my face was at the very edge and the rest of the pillow was behind me away from the baby. Like PPs said baby will sleep under your arm at boob level so the pillow is easy to deal with. Pre-baby I was all about the down comforter up to my ears (literally) but post baby I started wearing a tank under a long sleeve shirt and the blanket below the baby. The long sleeves kept my upper half and arms warm and the tank kept my tummy and back warm when I had to pull up the shirt to nurse.  

-The babe should not be on top or under the blankets, especially fluffy down. 

-My babes slept in cotton gowns or just diapers without blankets as they got bigger (we keep our house fairly warm even at night). Remember the baby is going to be warm just being so close to you and DH. I did swaddle when they were very little (the first month or so), but then I wanted them to be able to move their hands/arms if they needed to clear their face.


You'll figure it out once baby is here and you will find that you sleep completely differently once you are cuddling him/her all night.