in 6 days, 4 of those nights have been spent trying to get my daughter back to sleep. last night i was angry and ready to put her in a crib and go to sleep somewhere else. she has always woken every 45-90 minutes to nurse for a couple of minutes, then go back to sleep. she refuses a pacifier, and we bought every kind and size we could find. she normally doesn't stay awake but the past month there are nightts where all night she sits up and flops over, all over us. she won't give in and sleep!! there will be minutes of sleep here and there but mostly she is fighting it. she'll whine/sleepy cry sometimes. she doesn't seem to be hurting and is very happy during the day. i am feeling desperate and angry. i don't do cio but it's getting to where that might be better? i don't want to be so resentful and exhausted at ten months post-partum!!
drowning in hormones with 4 daughters and an understanding, loving hubby. also some dogs. my life is crazy and we are always learning.
It took my till me dd was over 1 year old to figure out that she sleeps better in her own space, and that it's ok if she cries a bit before falling asleep. I wish I had figured it out sooner, because her first year was really, really hard on me. Could you try putting her in her crib right next to your bed and then when she wakes, nurse her back to sleep and then put her back in her crib. She might just cry for a bit and then get cozy and fall asleep. With you right there of course, so it wouldn't be CIO (which I'm not suggesting at all!).
And I have totally been there done that with the resentfulness and anger you are feeling. Oh yes, I've been there!.
thanks for replying. i just don't have the energy much to put her in the crib a zillion times a night. i have tried it a few nights, and it's like at least once an hour all night! i can't keep that up all night, every night. i know it seems like she needs the space too but i just can't deal with the getting up over and over. i don't know what i'm going to do. the past week has been really horrible at night...in the daytime she's as happy as ever. sigh. it is making me a not-nice mommy/wife to the other kids/dh.
I wonder if she's coming up on a developmental milestone. Before my son started walking, he would sit up in bed all the time and scoot all around. He still does some but it was like his body was practicing getting up and walking! It's hard to wait through but I find that most of these sleep disruptions (i.e. craziness!) do pass if I can just be patient and make up sleep during the day while we are going through it.
4 years and 5 IVF cycles in the making, Elliott was born at home in water on 2/2/11.
I've gone through a few really really rough patches over the past almost 2 years with my daughter. I finally had to wean her because I couldn't deal with being so tired. With both my kids, as soon as they weaned they started instantly sleeping through the night. Just last month I was so tired that I could barely function during the day and was crying all the time. She's almost 2 so I just decided to wean, even though I wanted to go longer, like I did with my son. Not suggesting u wean, just sharing lol. Can your husband take care of her for a night so you can go to a different room and sleep? I remember for my b-day last year, all I wanted was a night to sleep all night long!!!
if dh gets her at night she cries hysterically and chokes/gags. she is fine during the day with him, and will even nap on him at times. i do have a feeling some form of weaning will solve this :( i don't wanna!! ithink i will read up on night weaning.
oh purplerose! my baby is the same age as your LO and has the same sleep habits too. i've seen you post here and there over the past several months. i feel like we're kindred spirits! :)
just wanted to let you know that for the past 6 months i've been "at the end of my rope" in terms of the lack of sleep situation. for MONTHS i've been like "something has to change!" but come the middle of the night it's soooooooo hard to actually do something that requires more effort than lie there with my boobs available.
i will say that there has been one improvement with my guy in the last 2 months: at bedtime i started handing baby over to DH before he was fully asleep (i nursed him to sleep every night until that point) and dh would rock him to sleep and then put him down. for a week or so, some evening he would cry as if he were abandoned alone in a cold dark place - not being rocked and sung to in the comforting arms of his father. it was hard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but NOW: DH can actually put him to bed AND he can (sometimes) comfort him back to sleep at night. this is a major improvement because up until then i was doing 100% of the nighttime parenting.
sounds like your LO has a similar reaction to her dad at nightime. maybe start with that? then once you are able to share the nightime waking duties, you could move onto nightweaning once she's older? i think that once i decide to nightwean it will be marginally easier and better for my LO now that's he's ok with his dad at nightime because heaven knows i'm going to need my dh to help when the time comes to nightwean.
Hannah, Wife to R , Mama to Alexander, born 2-15-08,
and Gabriel, born 10-17-11. Ask me about cleft lip and palate!
This thread really helped give me perspective! My 10mo has also started waking up and flopping around in the bed with us, sitting up and flopping her head onto us, having trouble settling even with help (holding, shh, singing if it comes to it - we night weaned recently). I thought this change might be some kind of separation anxiety starting, since she also wants to cuddle a lot more when she wakes up and using me as a pillow before she'll go back to sleep. She'd been sleeping great lately (even starting to sleep through the night sometimes) until this flopping-cuddling business started this week, so it's been kind of disorienting. But she also seems really close to walking (holds just one hand to walk, insisted on holding both hands until, hm... this week), so the developmental milestone suggestion is intriguing...
For the OP: We have a sidecar crib arrangement, and she's always been happy to sleep in the crib at least half the time, which felt more flexible and let her go back and forth, I wonder if this could help the OP at all (our bed is actually a few inches higher than the crib mattress, but we keep a rolled up blanket betweeen the crib matress and sheet, so there's no drop-off but it sort of helps define the spaces). I'm rooting for the milestone explanation for all of us though!
My 9.5 month old is also flopping, flopping, flopping. And she also seems close to a developmental milestone. She's walking with one of our hands and has just recently started to stand up without pushing up on something.... No ideas here, but good to know some other mamas are in the same boat. I've been pretty frustrated about it, to say the least. Purplerose, since you posted this so long ago is your dd doing any better? (Please say 'yes' and give me hope...)
yes, yes! she is doing much better, and in fact, has slept 4-6 hours in a row a few nights! she is not flopping around much anymore. she did start walking and has had canine + first molars coming in. she is 11 months now.
we tried to sidecar the crib but there was too much of a height difference and i didn't see how to safely fix it. i wasn't actually planning to need it lol but it would have come in handy in this situation, maybe! she seems to enjoy flopping onto *us* though.
on a related note...i noticed the past week, when my daughter is sleepy and ready for nap, she will flop all over whoever she is with. sometimes after the flopping, she wll fall asleep on them(not me, as i have The Boobs, but my teen girls or dh). i don't know how to put this realization to use lol
I can add an update on this too -- last night I got a pretty bad split lip when the baby flopped her head right onto my face!
Ok but I was having this flopping issue more generally and it's gotten a LOT better. My 11mo is now walking short distances (halfway across a room at the most), she's still learning to walk but it's been changing faster now. She's also sleeping much longer stretches and rarely wakes up after midnight, except maybe once to crawl (or flop) over and cuddle if she's in her bed. Also when I come to bed and feed her, she still has to flop around to settle in, but then if she's right next to me she usually stays still until 7am. This is pretty amazing for me after going almost 10 months without ever sleeping more than a 4hr stretch.
So the flopping thing might be resolving aith a big milestone and longer sleep, but ouch, sometimes she'll just drop onto me from sitting and she doesn't seem at all concerned even after hitting her head against mine (often she'll go to sleep smiling right after -- I think she does this when she's half asleep already). Does anyone else have this version of it, or have an idea other than to just watch out when she starts moving? I've started putting my hand up to catch her...
my daughter is usually asleep when she's doing it, mostly. sometimes she does it when she is awake, before going to bed, but really sleepy. but in the bed, in the middle of the night, she will do it and land asleep.
things are bad again lol we had a couple of good nights and now it's back to "normal". i am exhausted.
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