When did you stop worrying about your child being safe while sleeping - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 08-25-2012, 10:03 PM - Thread Starter
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I know I (and DH) are on the excessive side about worrying about DD. We know all the bad things that can happens to babies. Our baby, however, is now 3 1/2. I still barely sleep at night because I wake up in a panic that she has stopped breathing. We check her over and over if we are awake. Even if I am not panicking I don't sleep well because I am worried and hyper aware of her. 


A few weeks ago she asked to sleep on the floor and it has worked out pretty well. Tonight, however, she is in the living room. She is on a futon and we put up protection so she won't fall off etc. BUT YIKES, she has never slept so far from one of us. I know a zillion people have there kids n their own room. So after 1 or 2 years how much do you need to worry????

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#2 of 5 Old 08-26-2012, 04:34 AM
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I was definitely finished worrying by 3.5. It sounds like she's a very aware LO who knows she sleeps better a bit away from her worrying mom and dad. This is a good thing! 

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#3 of 5 Old 08-27-2012, 08:38 AM
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A while after she could push up on her hands very effectively and was rolling around (so around 4 or 5 months) I stopped obsessing about her not breathing while asleep. She was always very strong and her crib was bare (just a fitted sheet) so I figured if something was interfering with her, she could roll over or push up and cry. As time went on, it became less and less of a worry. After her first birthday I relaxed even more, as the risk of SIDS drops very quickly after that. Now at 17 months, I honestly don't give it a second thought. She sleeps in her own room in a safe crib she can't fall or climb out of and I sleep with the baby monitor on my bedside table, turned on full blast. She still wakes up at night, pees, then nurses back to sleep after I diaper her. I'm very pleased that I let go of that fear fairly easily, since she did stop breathing twice in the hospital due to mucus. The summers are usually very humid here and in the winter we have a humidifier going in her room constantly to ensure that any mucus she's got in there from a cold/flu stays nice and runny and doesn't pose a breathing problem (except for waking her). Basically as I got more experienced as a mom and got to know her vigorous personality, I worried less and less about her sleep. I don't know if that helps you any but if she is in a part of the house where she can safely make it to your room if needed and you would hear her if she cried, I wouldn't worry. I honestly worry more the few nights when I have to take DD into our bed. She's very active and I could totally see her climbing to the foot of the bed and falling off. Those nights I startle awake a dozen times, CONVINCED that she is about to fall off or has already done so and is on the floor hurt and unconscious. Each time though, she is about six inches from me and sleeping soundly. Mommy instincts can be over the top sometimes :-)
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#4 of 5 Old 09-02-2012, 03:45 PM
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I'm a worrier too.  I didn't stop worrying about SIDS and the blankets on our bed till dd was probably over 18 months.  We put our mattress on the floor when she was a baby so I wouldn't worry about her rolling off (which I did anyway even though it  was just probably 10 inches) and I never felt safe enough to bring the bed frame back in, so we're now sleeping with a mattress plus box spring on the floor.  She's 4.5 now.  She occasionally sleeps over at the grandparents (which was really hard for me for her to be so far away at first!) on a regular, waist-high bed, and I worry about her falling off so the grandparents usually put pillows along the edge of the bed and on the floor.  She's fallen off the bed there before, so I don't think that worry/precaution is too over-the-top... though, like skycheattraffic said, mommy instincts certainly can be sometimes! 


But, you know... only you know your child and what his/her limitations are, and **I think** it's okay for you to worry based on that.  I think my dd had some stop-breathing episodes when she was little, so I probably worried more about sleep safety than other co-sleeping moms.  And she has generally been behind the curve when it comes to physical/movement develop and body awareness, so when other moms turn their kids loose I tend to hover a bit more and worry about stuff like falling off the bed.  The differences in kids can be really amazing... I remember when my dd and her cousin were both around 18months or 2yo, my mom was playing with dd at a park and sitting at a picnic table.  Her cousin is quite physically advanced/adventurous and my mom is used to being around her.  So when my mom was sitting with dd on the bench, my mom didn't think to hold/support my dd.  Well, my dd fell from the bench onto concrete and chipped a tooth.  Kids are just different and have different needs, so different moms have different worries.  That's how I justify my worrying instincts at least!   

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#5 of 5 Old 09-04-2012, 05:09 AM
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I am not sure if I worry a lot or not.

We sleep on with the mattress on the floor about an 18-20 inch drop.

Both my 2 year old and my four year old have rolled off the bed onto the carpeted floor. Sigh. But my daughter whimpered we picked her up and put her back to bed and my son just climbed back up and went to bed. I have also found him asleep on the floor but don't actually know if he fell or fell asleep on the floor.

It sounds like there is a strong push for independence. This always makes me nervously happy. Just like learning to eat, it's about having a blank pleasant expression that doesn't give away how much you are dying inside ^_^

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