I've always nursed my LO to sleep and held her for all of her naps, but I can't get any housework done so she needs to learn how to sleep on her own (my husband will not put up with this any longer). But she ALWAYS wakes up if I put her in her crib and she rolls over and sits up and screams. What do I do? I get her and feed her again and she falls asleep again and then wakes up and sits up and screams in her crib. At night if I nurse her to sleep she stays asleep when I put her into her crib, but then she usually ends up crying and pooping and I can't put her back down in her crib.
Can you nurse her to sleep lying down next to her, then unlatch and slip away? That helped me a lot with mine - she would wake up if I held her and put her in her crib, but this way would stay asleep once I unlatched. It was less jarring than putting her down, because she was already lying down. I just took my nipple out. I know it won't work in a crib, but maybe you could put the mattress on the floor and completely child proof her room, then if she did happen to wake up and crawl around without you knowing she would still be safe....
Thank you for the suggestion. Perhaps I could try that. I never was able to comfortably nurse while laying on my side (and she always ended up screaming and unable to stay latched on and it was so frustrating I gave up). But now that she's 13 months she might be able to do this. In the meantime, I've been trying to not allow her to sleep with me holding her and breastfeeding her to sleep. So she has fallen asleep in the car, stroller, or on my back in the ergo baby carrier.
One thing she has learned is that if I nurse her in the rocking chair, this will be followed by me trying to put her in the crib, so now she starts crying and refusing to nurse if we go to the rocking chair! I've had to feed her on the couch.
We got a toddler bed so that I could do what aaahmyeye suggested, OP, and it often works very well. We've been using it since DS was about 11 months old. It's very low to the ground, has side guards, and I put a cushioned mat around it just in case he got out. Now at 14 months falling out is not really much of a concern. It holds up to 200lbs so I can lie in there with him and nurse him down when I need to. It's working well for us, for the most part, although I will say that he doesn't usually nap for nearly as long as when I hold him.
At home amongst the redwoods with my husband and my son, born 7/5/11, and #2 due in October 2015 Instant CNM, just add !
I tried the nursing on my side and she fought it--I'd put the crib mattress on the floor to try it but she would not put up with being layed down on the crib mattress. Yesterday she took no nap (other than the minute or two before I tried putting her into her crib) but today she ended up falling asleep for 2 hours in her stroller. Maybe that'll have to be our solution--thought I'll have to really bundle her up in winter.
My son is similar. He has never consented to being laid down in a bassinet or crib. Finally, we dismantled the crib and laid the mattress and the bed slats on the floor. Like your daughter, he knows what I'm up to if I try to nurse him on the mattress, and he tries to crawl away.
He is currently 12 months, and the following has worked for the past couple months:
I take him into my room, where it is darker, away from his sister, and where he probably conjures lots of happy memories of cosleeping. I sit in bed and nurse him in my lap (or walk around the room with him, and then nurse him in my lap) until he drops the nipple of his own accord or I can easily remove it without him seeking after it at all. This is the key moment. I immediately stand up with him and take him to his mattress-on-the-floor. Then I lay him down, and while he is too groggy to know what is happening, immediately offer him the breast and lay beside him until he falls asleep the second time.
This sounds ridiculously involved, but after a number of weeks of doing this, he got to the point where he would not need to be nursed to sleep the second time, but consented to be laid down.
He will wake up later, and I usually nurse him back to sleep there one or two times before I take him to bed with me. I can't help you with during the night... we're still working on that. He's just a sensitive guy... very different from my daughter, who never jived with cosleeping.