22 month old - kicking and tossing and turning all night - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 09-17-2012, 05:40 AM - Thread Starter
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Hi everyone.  I've got a question... I night weaned my 22 mnth old a few months ago - it really helped us get the sleep that we were both desperate for (i'm currently 6 months pregnant).  It went well and for a while he was even sttn! (first time since birth).  But now, his waking to pacify has been replaced with him waking to find my arm, chest, or neck to nuzzle into.  Which is totally fine cause I love to cuddle too! And I know that it sounds really sweet - but it goes more like this:

- he wakes up and if I've scootched away to get some sleep.. he will flail his arms and legs punching and kicking both me and dh in the process

- when he makes contact... he then crawls over to me (sometimes DH - I wish it was more than sometimes) and flops around like a fish out of water until he finds his "sweet spot" and falls asleep...

This usually means that DH has been slapped and or punched and I usually get the back of his head smacked into my nose and then my back is arched at a ridiculous angle so that I wake up limping...


I've had and heard the this-is-a-phase talk... but its been going on for at least 2 months or longer... and it doesn't look like its getting any better!  Could this be his molars coming in? His revolt to me being pregnant? Or just normal co-sleeping habits that will pass? 


When our second is born there is no way that we can all share the bed with him thrashing around like a mad-man!! eyesroll.gif

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#2 of 6 Old 09-19-2012, 11:02 PM
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Hi; I imagine you must be tired, mama. I'm bumping up your post for attention. smile.gif Anyone have experiences or suggestions to share? Wishing you and your family peaceful sleep!

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#3 of 6 Old 09-21-2012, 04:48 PM
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I could've posted a very similar thread! My bet is on the 2 year molars. DS2 is in the middle of getting his (he's got the bottom 2 and is now working on the top 2) and we've had a lot of rough nights lately.


As far as when the baby comes, could you have your DH start handling wakeups? What about sidecarring another bed or a crib to your bed so that there is more sleep space for everyone?

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#4 of 6 Old 11-08-2012, 05:10 AM - Thread Starter
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Thank you for the suggestions!  Our nights are here and there now -(some more peaceful than others)  but the good news is that DH has taken over putting DS to sleep and its going well.  Sometimes DS will go to him at night but he usually crawls his way over to me - which I don't mind.  We are goign to experiment with side caring (but our bedroom is tiny and we already have a king sized bed) or DH and DS will start to sleep in DS's room on the bunk bed (as soon as the delivery comes...)


Thank you ladies!

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#5 of 6 Old 11-10-2012, 08:01 AM
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I very much wish I could reply with a solution to this because that would mean I would have found one for both of us and possibly other parents out there! Our youngest is 21 months, also recently weaned and does just about the same exact things at night that you described. I am not pregnant with another baby though, so I don't think you can point the behavior towards that, but he is the youngest of four and possibly nighttime is his only time he gets our undivided attention all night. He does exactly as your son does though with the flipping and tossing and kicking and slapping and cuddling up under our necks or in our armpits. While it's cute and sweet that he wants to cuddle and be close (he's also very cuddly when awake) it makes is very difficult for us to sleep comfortably or sometimes at all. We first put him to bed in his sisters room every night (our 11yo and 8yo share a room). He usually wakes at some point before midnight, usually crying as if he's had a nightmare. Our 11yo usually brings him into our room screaming or daddy goes in and gets him and then the next 6-7 hours are spent spinning and tossing and beating us up in our bed. Any suggestions? How could we make sleep more comfortable for everyone both physically and emotionally.
Also, our 3girls all co-slept with us until they self-weaned at or around age 2 and then quickly transitioned into their own beds very happily. This is a new struggle for me.
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#6 of 6 Old 11-10-2012, 09:30 AM
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My oldest daughter (now 8) and I like to giggle about her sleep when she was a toddler.  We can laugh about it now, but back then it was pure torture.  She didn't cuddle well (ever!).  Imagine being a baby/toddler/child who wanted closeness but just could not stand cuddling.  She would roll towards me until she found me (we had no covers on her side of the bed because she would upset them constantly.  Then, once finding me, she would continue to roll and roll and roll until I grumpily pushed her a comfortable distance away and the process would start all over again.  When she was close and she rolled over, she would give off a loud shout then SMACK!  Roll over and watch out for your face.  She was not is not a floppy child.  Like I said, she cannot cuddle/has no idea how to cuddle, even at 8.


That story shared, two things finally helped, and sorry, yes, this amounts to being "just a phase":  her 2-year molars were coming in all four at once (ouch!) and being able to use the potty at night, which she resisted and more than once I took her kicking and shouting into the bathroom where she would calmly use the potty, using all her new-found angry words to scold me for hauling her out of bed.  Then we would crawl back and curl up (kind of--note cuddle story above) and she would be asleep and the rolling and thrashing would cease.  


She stopped rolling around entirely, but you still had to watch out for her switching position because she still SMACKED! anything within reach.


Good to hear things are a little better.  Sleep deprivation is excruciating.

"She is a mermaid, but approach her with caution. Her mind swims at a depth most would drown in."
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