DH is tired of our 4 year old sleeping with us! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 10-15-2012, 10:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Our son used to cosleep up until he was 2. Then we transitioned him to his own bed, he did well for a long time but then shortly after DD came along he started crawling back in bed with us at 2 or 3 in the morning. I don't mind it too much but I don't sleep as well, and my back usually hurts the next morning:/ however I'd rather it stay like this than fight with him about it. I do love the snuggles too, I just wish he could lay still and not crawl all over and kick us half he night. DH is getting really tired of it because our son ends up laying on his head or kicking him in his junk. DH gets up early for work and is just sort of done. He has a hard time getting up with him and taking him back to his room because then he's wide awake and can't get back to sleep. I'm the exact same way. Needless to say, neither one of us has tried too hard to get him back in his own bed in the middle of the night because of that. But now we aren't too sure what to do. Any tips on talking to our son to figure out a way for him to stay in his own bed. We tried bribing(shudder) but that only worked for a little while. I tried to explain to DH that its perfectly normal for a child to want to sleep with his parents, when he gets frustrated and can't figure out why DS wants to come into our room every night. I would even be okay with getting him to just sleep in the floor, and DH agreed that that would be much better. Thoughts? DS is usually half asleep when he comes in there and is hard to reason with at 2 am!

DH(9/04) DS(12/08) and DD(5/11)

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#2 of 6 Old 10-22-2012, 08:56 PM
 
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Sending support to you and your family. I'm bumping up your post. bump.gifAnyone have ideas to share?
 


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#3 of 6 Old 10-23-2012, 04:38 PM
 
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Maybe a fun sleeping bag he picks out? Explain that everybody can't sleep well in a crowded bed but DS is very welcome to snuggle down in his special new sleeping bag right next to the bed. Then when he comes in at night, say "it's time to sleep with the elephant/Elmo/doggie/whatever". The novelty might get him out of your bed and the camp out may eventually lose its charm and he just may opt to stay in his bed. This is just an idea, my first kiddo is 1.5 so I'm not there yet.
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#4 of 6 Old 10-24-2012, 09:11 AM
 
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If your son is happy with it, a bed on the floor in the sleeping bag sounds nice.  

 

Or, your husband can use a different bedroom.  I know that sounds an awful lot like kicking daddy out, but I tell you, the nights that mine chose to move to another bedroom were actually the easiest on me because I stopped stressing about whether he was being kept awake or not.  And after a few nights of peaceful rest, he became convinced as well.  ETA:  I did find it hard to stop the occasional chainsaw snores, but this was a reasonable tradeoff, I think.  At least he was sleeping!

 

But that won't solve the problem of ds running races on your back and head at night.  A little extra room might help, but he might still need to end up on the floor.

 

Maybe he'd feel better if you or his dad came in and slept on his floor?  And he stayed in his own bed?

 

All ideas to consider.  


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#5 of 6 Old 10-25-2012, 05:36 PM
 
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When my older was 3.5 and younger was 15 mo I bought a full size bed for them (queen would have been better but we couldn't fit it) and started putting them to bed together. Then when one or the other of them woke up, I would go in and sleep with them for the rest of the night. It was awesome! No guilt, some me time, no grumpy DH. My younger is a glommer ( is this a word? Meaning he gloms onto whoever is there all night and they can't move) so I used to put a body pillow between them to protect my older, but this might be a way to protect your younger from being kicked.

Good luck!
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#6 of 6 Old 11-11-2012, 07:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Just wanted to update. We put a padded blanket in the floor with a pillow and told him that if its still dark out he needs to sleep in the floor if he comes in our room when he wakes, but if its light out or daddy is getting up for work he can crawl in bed with us. He tried to push us a few times but we've stuck to our guns and he's doing well! He comes in about once every other night now and half the time it's in the magic window of daylight when. He can crawl in bed with me;) working well!!

DH(9/04) DS(12/08) and DD(5/11)

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