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#1 of 15 Old 04-19-2004, 10:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Sleep sharing and would love some input from those who understand... My ds, Raidan, is 6 months and a HOT sleeper. When I pick him up at night, his back and sheet are damp. Have tried dressing down to onesies - still damp - and then limbs feel chilly to touch. Sugg?

Ds and I are also chair-sleepers. Am sure that we are not the creators of lazy-boy bliss, but are there others out there? The chair was the only way we both were able to get some sleep at first. It has been on-going transition to bed - start there and still spend nights moving to chair to get some zzz's. Ideas to help transition? Sometimes I think lack of sleep makes it much harder for me to get patterns - or to make a different choice at 4 a.m. etc.

And lastly, what about thrashing karate king that inhabits my sweet-heart in wee hours? He just keeps going and I can't sleep and eventually he can't either. Not sure if I am in the way of his movement and actually wake him up by being there? Should I do or not do something? Leads to holding and sleeping in chair where it subsides and he quiets. Thanks for listening.
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#2 of 15 Old 04-19-2004, 11:26 PM
 
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Oh the chair sleepers.... Yep, we were there too. I just rolled with it, if we ended up in the chair more nights than not, at least we were sleeping! It subsided on it's own about 8-10 months, I realized we were spending more nights in the bed and by about a year, it was every night(well mostly every night!) I don't think you're doing one single thing wrong...you're doing what gets you and your babe the most, best sleep!
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#3 of 15 Old 04-22-2004, 10:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you so much for writing!!! Actually hearing that there are other chair sleepers out there really took a load off of my mind - inside I know I'm doing the best thing for both of us, but after hearing so many people doubting or questioning me and talking about the crib the crib the crib - well - I was spending energy just sticking to my guns. Now I feel alot lighter.
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#4 of 15 Old 04-22-2004, 11:44 AM
 
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Not sure about the HOT issues, but my DS is a very active sleeper, as well. Ever since he was a tiny baby, he rolls around, kicks, hits, etc. in his sleep. DH and I would wake up bruised! We did transition him out of our bed into a crib at about 6 months of age because NONE of us were getting good quality sleep. I hated doing it, but it really was neccesary. He's almost 4, and he's still the same way. He occassionally comes into our bed at night, and my DH usually ends up leaving the bed because he gets tired of being kicked.

Many moms hold cosleeping up as the greatest thing since sliced bed. And while it is great, and I certainly enjoy sleeping with my 2 girls, it's not for everyone. Transitioning to a crib is not child neglect, sometimes it's the best way to make sure everyone gets a good nights sleep.

And if you do decide to move him to his own bed for the time being, that doesn't mean he'll never be welcome in your bed again. Kids' needs change as they grow. Perhaps he'll be a better/ more restful sleeper in a few months, and you can try cosleeping again.

In the 4 years since I became a parent, I've had kids in and out of my bed more times than I can count. We just go with the flow, and try to meet our kids' needs as they present themselves, without stressing about what the future will hold.

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#5 of 15 Old 04-23-2004, 03:30 PM
 
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when our dd was that age, we slept under the covers, and she slept on top of the covers between us. she gets very hot and i was always paranoid of her overheating, so i would dress her lightly and put her own, thinner blanket on top of her.

you might want to have a big bed if you've got an active little bugger, too. i've found that the bigger our bed, the more i can handle co-sleeping. it definitely has its ups and downs, just like anything else!
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#6 of 15 Old 04-23-2004, 04:55 PM
 
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I'm a soon to be momma who really wants to co-sleep but am not sure how to do it safely. I have a queen size futon (feels like a double size) and don't know where baby should sleep. Dh is very scared that he'll roll over on baby. Are there ways to put baby that would be harder for him to roll on to make him feel better or maybe I should just put baby next to me on the other side- for a newborn - would you suggest one of those cheap bedrails that go under the mattress?

Other concerns - I read that you can't have any blankets when you bedshare - is this true? What about pillows? Obviosly anything must be kept away from baby's face.

Please enlighten me on the logistics of bedsharing with a newborn.

Thanks a lot!
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#7 of 15 Old 04-23-2004, 05:15 PM
 
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Dd was born in the summer, so I didn't really need to worry about blankets, I just wore PJ's if I got cold. I used a small travel pillow, that way there was lots of room for dd to sleep and BF without having a pillow in her face. Now she crawls/rolls all over me, so I don't worry about her getting stuck with something over her head. I gradually added blankets as she got older and I felt more comfortable with our sleep habits.
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#8 of 15 Old 04-23-2004, 10:04 PM
 
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My DS is very hot blooded. He sleeps in just a diaper. I like to call him "sweaty head". People have told me to put him in a onsie eventhough he is hot blooded but he does better wearing only a diaper and I cover up his legs with a sheet and leave his arms out. When I wake up in the middle of the night sometimes his arms or feet (if he kicked the sheet off) are cold, but his head and body are warm so I just let him be, or I snuggle up close to him and put my arms over his arms to warm them up a little before I go to sleep again.

As for the trashing around thing, my son does that sometimes and I just try and calm him in his sleep. I use to have to hold is arms and legs down (gently) for him to stop to go back into a peaceful sleep. Sometimes I just have to back away from him and give him his space. Sometimes he wants to snuggle with his blankie and not me. It is just trial and error for us.

berkeleyp - This is just what I did and it worked for us.
I still use my pillows, blankets, sheets and teddy bear (yes at 24 I still sleep with a teddy bear whenever DS will let me ). I just made sure that DS was laying far enough below the pillow and that the blanket only came up to his waist at the highest. I was afraid of myself or DH rolling over on DS but it was my hubby that informed me that when DS was next to him he didn't move all night and I found I was the same way. I feel that your instincts kick in and you are so intune with your baby that if your DH were to roll over on the baby (highly unlikely IMO) or a sheet were to go over their face you would "just know".

Also, I don't feel bed rails are really needed untill your little one starts being mobile. Even then they don't really recommed them because they baby could get stuck but I haven't gotten to that age yet.

At first you may feel uncomfortable and you will probably wake up everytime your baby's toe moves but once you get the hang of it you will sleep so much better (at least we did). All I have to do now is when DS starts moving his head back and forth I pull out the boobie, feed him, and we both go right back to sleep.

Ok, novel over. Good Luck!

*ETA* Sometimes when DS wakes up in the middle of the night sort of thrashing around I just have to put my boob next to his face and he snuggles up and falls right back to sleep. Of course that is how he falls asleep all the time.
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#9 of 15 Old 04-24-2004, 11:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My DH does alot of sleepwalkingtalking so I don't feel comfy with DS in between us at night. DS sleeps on my side - we have a queen futon mattress on the floor and I keep a tall pillow (one of those triangle shaped things for reading in bed) next to him on the floor. I think the pillow is more for me at this stage since he only rolls towards the boob at this point and never ever away from it When we first brought ds home we had a double bed and I kept our pack n play next to it with pillows stuffed in between. Nothing big or loose or moveable. I wrapped him in his own blanket at first but still draped ours over him because our home was on the chilly side then. think that's it and hope it helps.
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#10 of 15 Old 04-24-2004, 11:09 PM
 
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My daughter is also a VERY HOT and active sleeper. Hot from her father, he used to sweat heavily as a child, and I was very active as a child, my father called me the human clock as Id just rotate. DD does this too, its actually fun to see that I passed that goofy thing on. As for my daughter, she sweats like crazy and the only thing that really seems to help is cotton, she wears a cotton gown, and she uses a cool sheet. He helps to keep her warm (so her sweat doesnt dry and give her chills) and yet its still cool.
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#11 of 15 Old 04-24-2004, 11:55 PM
 
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Thanks for the replies so far. . i'm glad to hear confidence that no one will roll over on babe out of instinct - that's pretty much how I feel but am still nervous.
I might put my futon on the floor so I can keep babe on my side (unless I can convince Dh that s/he's safe between us.) Or maybe I'll just put the cradle up against the bed to create a little rail - babe should't be rolling over for awhile anyway but it might make me feel better. What do you think?
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#12 of 15 Old 05-08-2004, 11:03 AM
 
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I found that when DS was teeny tiny, it was impossible for DH to roll over on him, because he was basically tucked up in my armpit (ie his little head a boob level!) the whole night. DH would have had to roll onto my hand and arm first, and he never did this pre-baby, so the likelihood of him doing it after baby was pretty slim! And, if the baby is at armpit level, then he isn't going to be anywhere near the pillows. berkeleyp, I think you'll find this happens to you as well instinctively when you start cosleeping. If you are worried, you could always try using a Snugglenest. I didn't have one, but this is what my BIL and SIL use for their son, and they seem to like it.

My son is also one of these hot babies! He often has a soaking wet head whenhe wakes at night. And if you put any sort of blanket at all over him, he complains in his sleep and kicks it off. He even did this when he was very little. And we live in a very cold climate, in an old house that could be very cold at night. So, he wears a sleeper, and sleeps on top of the blankets. In the summer when it's hot, he slept in a diaper. Will probably do that this summer too! I wasn't a night sweating child, neither was DH. However, my brother, after whom we named DS, was very much so! It's kinda neat that they have that in common, being namesakes and all!

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#13 of 15 Old 05-09-2004, 12:36 AM
 
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All I can comment on is the kicking part. I know you want to and are all for co-sleeping, but we found that dd was much happier in her crib. We both love to co-sleep, but sometimes when she was thrashing about, I would try laying her in her crib and she would calm completely. I know now that she likes to snuggle sometimes (like for naps or early morning), but other times (almost always at night), she likes to be able to stretch out and not touch anything or anyone. She hates rolling over and touching a part of me or dh. She just starts thrashing more. Anyway, maybe you could just try laying him in his own space and see what happens. If he doesn't like it, well, move on to the next suggestion or just go to your chair. LOL!

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#14 of 15 Old 05-09-2004, 02:17 AM
 
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When dd was an infant we bought a feather pillow and would place it vertically between Dh's and my horizontal pillows and place her on the feather pillow. It would keep her on her back and elevated so that there was no chance of us rolling over on her and we each had our own blankets. I really never worried about the rolling over thing but I came up with this after worrying about the blankets.
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#15 of 15 Old 05-12-2004, 11:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So I've been keeping track of thrashing vs. being close/moving away/getting up/etc. Doesn't seem to be related to anything specific. We have good nights and bad nights and many inbetweens. Just continuing to go with the flow and hit my mom up for naps when I need to rejuv.

Scheelimama - my ds is opposite - he wants to be able to touch me with his feet. I think it's adorable... just like when he was inside. Feet to ribs - only now he's moved on to pressing against thighs or belly or whatever he can reach. Sometimes he is fine with space but he periodically checks with those toes to make sure I'm still there. When I lay him down at night his feet are like little antennae!

My other thought these days is whether he wants to be more upright when sleeping? He loves the cradle hold and I know this is close to me but also wonder if the angle is a plus to him as well... don't know what I'd do about it, but was wondering if anyone has noticed this? Sweetest Dreams All, ggma.
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