Doing bedtime alone with bedhsaring toddler and infant - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 10-18-2012, 08:54 PM - Thread Starter
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Anybody have experience doing bedtime alone with a bedsharing toddler and young baby?  We're expecting #2 in June.  DD, currently 20 months/will be 28 months when the baby is born, needs me to lie down with her (she is not in our room anymore, but we have a double mattress in her room and bedshare part time) for probably an average of 20 minutes before she falls asleep.  I don't want to take that away from her, but I need to figure out how to make it work once the baby gets here.  I can't be two places at once!  I would be willing to teach her to fall asleep with me sitting or standing in the room instead of lying next to her, but presently when I try that she crawls out of bed and sits or stands next to me, screaming.  I would also be happy bedsharing with both, with the baby in the cosleeper and DD on the other side of me, but not sure about the practicality of that (getting them to fall asleep at the same time, me not being able to get up after they're asleep for safety reasons, etc.)


Anybody been there or have any advice?  

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#2 of 5 Old 10-22-2012, 09:11 PM
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#3 of 5 Old 10-22-2012, 10:51 PM
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I did bedtime alone the vast majority of nights.  Dd was almost 3 when ds was born and she generally fell asleep on my lap while I rubbed her tummy :)


When ds was born, I would either sit up in the bed with the baby nursing or on my chest while I rubbed dd's back/belly as she lay beside me or I would nurse side lying with dd on the other side of the baby while I reached over the baby to rub her back/belly (whatever I could reach!) Eventually, she was able to fall asleep without me actually rubbing her, especially when I needed to switch sides to nurse the baby and I could just lay there with her.  Now, she actually can fall asleep without me in the bed with her, lol! Hard to imagine then!


The nights that I could get ds to lay down in the cosleeper or that dp was home to hold him during bedtime were special cuddling time for dd and I, but otherwise we kind of worked around the baby to not make things too different for her and it ended up being fine, if a bit contorted and uncomfortable for me at times ;)


I hope that helps, let me know if you have any questions, it is kind of hard to describe!

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#4 of 5 Old 10-25-2012, 09:13 PM - Thread Starter
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Thank you!  That does help a lot!  I really hope it won't be too much trouble for me to snuggle DD while the baby is otherwise occupied with nursing, or maybe sleeping him/herself.  My DD was an excellent sleeper as a newborn, and I guess if I'm lucky, her sibling will be too?  Haha.  On a positive note, I'm wondering if it'll actually help DD not be too jealous, if I'm still spending plenty of time with her at bedtime even though the baby is there too.  Maybe??

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#5 of 5 Old 10-29-2012, 04:23 PM
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We still bedhsare with big girl and little guy. DD was almost 3 when DS was born. I did bedtime by myself most nights. In the beginning, sometimes with them both at the same time- DS nursing while I told stories/rubbed DD's back. Other times separate- DD playing by herself while I got DS to sleep, or, on a rough night, watching a video. After they fell asleep, I used a video monitor (best purchase we've ever made) to watch them, so that I could do other stuff, or I would just read right there. When DH was home, it was special snuggle time for DD. If DD needed extra time and DS wasn't sleeping, and DH at work, DS would go in the sling or moby, and we would tell stories, or I would give DD a massage. DS would happily nurse like that for hours, and I think it helped DD to forget he was there.


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