why on earth doesn't everyone just put their mattresses on the floor??? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 50 Old 11-28-2012, 10:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ugh.  I'm sorry.  I don't know why this got under my skin tonight (although, in my defense, no matter what mood I'm in I'm baffled by this one).  BUT why, why, why???  In another thread I just saw the question was something like --  is co-sleeping hazardous after all?  And the reason it was asked, because baby fell from a normal-highted bed.  Well, NO, co-sleeping is not hazardous.  But sleeping with a baby in a bed that is high off the ground (even the hight of a normal bed) is!  Sure, babies survive it.  But jeez, why not put it on the floor?  Why is it that people are so resistant to putting their mattresses on the floor?  I have had mine on the floor for over nine years now.  I'm looking forward to the day that I can sit on my bed and have my feet on the floor with my knees at a 90% angle.  I think that'll be nice!  But not so nice that it was more important than having my baby safe in the bed.

 

I think it drives me crazy because I do think it can be dangerous for baby to fall out (though, it is true that I have never heard of a real serious injury), and I think co-sleeping gets such a bad rap so I wish we could at least take some easy precautions that will make it safer, yk?  Mattress on the floor should be right up there with rules like don't sleep with baby while intoxicated, don't put baby in the crack between bed and wall, don't put pillows all around tiny baby's head.  Why not?

 

Plus, even if it's not horribly dangerous (if that is the case), babies shouldn't have to find themselves hitting the floor in their sleep every once in a while.  

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#2 of 50 Old 11-28-2012, 10:42 PM
 
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We had our bed on the floor, well, until we did a custom bed where no one could fall out of it without making a concerted effort! But, we had the regular height beds in hotels and relatives houses. I didn't find that the kids fell out a lot in those places, but it did happen and I did try to minimize it. I imagine for some people there's a space issue, so if you have a fancy or family-passed-down bed, you might not have a place to store it if it's not in use, and yet, you want to cosleep. A few times we ran into beds so high that I pulled the mattress off onto the floor to sleep on.

 

My best falling out of bed story though was when DD was 5-6 and DS must have been 2-3. Me and the two kids in a hotel king size bed. He decided for some reason that snuggling up to DD was better than snuggling up to me, (she runs warm, I wonder if it's all about body heat?). So, in his sleep, DS would snuggle up to DD. DD the "I need space" sleeper would, in her sleep, scoot back away from him. Repeat, repeat, repeat... crash. Both kids fell out of bed one right after the other. DS landed on top of DD, and didn't even wake up! I put them back in bed and decided that DS was old enough that he didn't have to be in the middle and switched to child-mom-child position which meant he didn't fall out because he snuggled up to me. 


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#3 of 50 Old 11-28-2012, 10:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hmmm...  I've never had any furniture nice enough that I would have cared about getting rid of it.  But I can imagine that if I really treasured my bed for some reason it would be pretty hard to hide it somewhere in my 950 sq. foot house with no attic, basement, or garage.  We actually just threw away our dining room chairs when our little one started being insane with them (moving them around the house to climb up on every imaginable surface).  I do miss having dining room chairs and am looking forward to getting new ones before too long (he's almost four, so I think it'll be soonish).  But I have a feeling that not having them has saved us from a lot of tears and angst.  

 

My older one fell out of a hotel bed at least once.  I could probably count on one hand, well, almost... how many nights he's slept in a hotel bed.  And they're all so high!  Crazy high!  But the night it happened, he was already five years old.  I really thought he was past the age of falling out.  We had actually spent the summer away in a rented furnished house, so we weren't in our usual mattress on the floor, and he hadn't fallen out there all summer, but then on the drive home... on that crazy high hotel bed...  


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#4 of 50 Old 11-29-2012, 12:11 AM
 
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We will be putting a mattress on the floor in DD's room as we transition her out of her crib/off my lap in the recliner to make it possible for me to manage her and little sibling arriving in the summer. We have a proper bed in the master bedroom and don't usually cosleep on it. Besides DH's medical issue, the biggest reason for me is that I need one place in the house where I feel like a grownup and maybe *gasp* like a woman without the endless diapers/drool/vomit/pee/avocado/whatever caked on me. I love the idea of the mattress on the floor but truthfully don't look forward to getting up off of it near my due date. I've spent a lot of time sleeping with DD but I just can't bring myself to do it in my one safe haven away from kiddo land (outside of being VERY desperate for sleep). I'm a big supporter of remove the problem rather than fight an endless battle but some things for me are just nonnegotiable; furniture for instance. I don't have fancy, high end furniture but I need chairs and a big girl bed. I'm happy to sleep with DD when she needs it on her mattress in her room but when she is sleeping great, I need to retreat to my own space to recharge and be me for a few hours because come morning, we will be back to life with a young toddler where pregnant or not, I struggle to meet my own basic needs. I hope that makes some sense. It's 3 am and I can't get back to sleep and feel like a zombie.
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#5 of 50 Old 11-29-2012, 12:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Aww, I'm sorry you're up at three a.m. Almost 12:30 now here and I will be very irritated at myself tomorrow for having stayed up too late.

Anyway... It sounds like you don't co-sleep in the high bed anyway. I don't mean to say that everyone should be co-sleeping, either, but just if they are, why not take concrete steps to make sure your child doesn't fall out. I think a rail is probably just as safe.

While I was pg w my second, I was really worried about how terrible it was going to be to be getting in and out of my on-the-floor mattress w newborn in my arms after a c-section, but it turned out that it was SO much easier than the last third of my pregnancy. I don't know if that should make you feel better or worse about the coming months. Good luck, though!
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#6 of 50 Old 11-29-2012, 01:05 AM
 
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We put our mattress down on the floor the day we got home from the hospital with DS. I agree, it seems pretty obvious to me. I liked that when he was learning to crawl, he could just go right over the side with no problem. It was obvious how accomplished he felt too, when he was finally able to get on to the mattress alone at around 8 months.

 

We still co-sleep, but he has a mattress waiting for him in the second bedroom. It's on the floor mostly for comfort (he likes to sit on it and look at books), but when we're transitioning him to sleep there I imagine he will like the familiar feel of being near the ground.


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#7 of 50 Old 11-29-2012, 05:25 PM
 
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The lack of circulation under the mattress can cause mold to grow in it. We had ours on the floor for years and recently had to get a frame for storage underneath (750 sq ft home). We have a california king. It's pushed back against the wall on two sides and kids sleep between me and the wall or I put a body pillow on the edge.
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#8 of 50 Old 11-29-2012, 09:00 PM
 
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We used to keep our mattress on the floor until the bed grew mold all over the bottom. greensad.gif We figured it was just an issue where we lived so we tried it again in another house. More mold. And now that I think about it, I had a futon on the floor of my apartment at college, and that gold moldy, too! We now have a platform bed frame and I will sadly never go back to having a mattress on the floor. I miss it, actually.
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#9 of 50 Old 11-30-2012, 02:39 PM
 
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As far as mold growing on mattress on the floor it is true, but I found these coco mats that are only and inch thick that you put under for mattress to breathe and they work perfect. quote from website so u can search it  "The bed rug is a one-inch mat made of coconut fiber (coir) impregnated with natural latex"  I dont' think i can post the website right?
 

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#10 of 50 Old 12-01-2012, 01:20 PM
 
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we have ours@ queens) on the floor. it was logical for us. i never thought of the mold though. i should go check and maybe buy a bed mat which i just read about.

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#11 of 50 Old 12-01-2012, 01:26 PM
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Because its not always practical to put your mattress on the floor? How is such an odd thing seen as normal?
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#12 of 50 Old 12-01-2012, 01:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I didn't know about the mold issue either. Like I said, we've had ours on the floor for years and I just checked and no mold. But I live in San Diego. It's pretty dry here. We have had both dogs and children pee in the bed, only a handful of times, but still... And I've just jumped up and down on a towel over it and then sprayed w vinegar. -- and those spots have not gotten moldy. I am a little concerned that what I thought was just grungyness from a little milk overflow when ds2 was an infant could be mold. I have just been grimacing at it when I change the sheets w/o any more thought. I wonder how I figure out if it's mold? That was over 3 years ago though. Do you think I need to worry about it? Ds 1 and I are both allergic to mold.

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#13 of 50 Old 12-01-2012, 01:37 PM
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Sorry? Dog and child pee in the mattress? Do you not have one of those mattress protectors on it?
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#14 of 50 Old 12-01-2012, 01:40 PM
 
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Because we were already using that space for storage, because we didn't have a place to store the bedframe , because getting down to and up from the floor can be pretty tough when recovering from c-section, because, like a lot of people, co-sleeping wasn't the original plan, but an adaptation we fell into.
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#15 of 50 Old 12-01-2012, 02:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by lilabet View Post

Sorry? Dog and child pee in the mattress? Do you not have one of those mattress protectors on it?

Nope.  It hasn't seemed necessary.  Dog pee'd in the bed once and the children probably less than 5 times between them.  When it's happened, I've taken the sheet off and dried it up as I said and sprayed it real good w vinegar.  It left no smell.  And pee is sterile.  I'm not concerned.  I'm not generally very bacteria-phobic, anyway.

 

Meepycat,  Do you (or did you) do something to make sure your little ones didn't take a substantial fall?  I know my OP sounds judgy.  I'm sorry.  I don't actually think that the only way to co-sleep safely is to have your mattress on the floor.  But I do feel frustrated when I see that babies have fallen out.  It may be that mattress plus boxspring on carpet w padding under is a safe comfortable option, or railings (I've always felt skeptical of railings not bc they wouldn't be safe for kids but bc I couldn't see having to climb over them), or those pillowy bumper-type things.  Maybe there is something cushy that could be put around the edges of the bed.  BUT I just can't wrap my head around leaving ones baby in a bed and then being shocked when they fall out and then question whether or no "co-sleeping" is safe.  It is only safe if you do it safely.

 

We have had some of those issues.  We don't have almost any storage in our 950 sq ft house, so we threw out our not very expensive anyway bed frame.  I did have an uncomfortable pregnancy in our bed on the floor and while I was big I *dreaded* having to pee in the middle of the night, but it was doable.  I was very worried about how getting in and out of bed w baby after my c-sec but it was actually okay.  Actually, it was totally fine, but I know those things from vary from person to person and surgery to surgery.  I actually think, though, that a newborn is not at a great risk of falling out as long as they aren't near the edge and you have plenty of space.


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#16 of 50 Old 12-01-2012, 03:31 PM
 
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We don't have a mattress on the floor either. Like the PP said, we didn't plan on co-sleeping. It just happened! We actually had a close call one of the first nights we brought our LO home and it scared me away from co-sleeping, but my DH convinced me we could make it safe. I wish at the time I would've thought about putting our mattress on the floor! It really is a safer idea. Our bed is pretty high. But we managed accident free with a bed rail until my son was about 2.5. It was annoying to always have to go to the end of the bed to get off and on, but we didn't mind enough. Then I moved my sons crib into the room and side-carred it to the bed, and it is at the same level as my bed. We love this!! Now were expecting another one and I plan to put the bed rail on the other side again, now that my older son who is now 3 just sleeps in his side-carred crib. It worked well with my first. So I'm hoping it will work again for us!
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#17 of 50 Old 12-01-2012, 04:47 PM
 
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We've coslept with all the kids, have a higher than average bed, and have never put the mattress on the floor or used rails or anything like that. Never been a problem. I would be concerned with a crawling baby waking up and crawling off alone. We have to keep the door open or the room gets cold so a baby could crawl anywhere in the house without anyone waking up.

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#18 of 50 Old 12-01-2012, 05:34 PM
 
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My baby fractured her skull falling out of a bed. It wasn't even a cosleeping accident. It was the guest bed, she was just laying on there, my back was turned, she rolled. It was carpeted, not that high at all, just a freak thing.  dh was resistent to putting our mattress on the floor. It was causing me SO much stress, because as soon as she woke up from her naps she would crawl. A few weeks after the fracture, she crawled off after a nap (and that bed was higher than the guest bed!) and was crying so hard and I was having a panic attack that I'd have to bring her back to the hospital and they'd call CPS on us because she had another similar injury. (she was fine after that fall, but we were both very rattled!) I started building little pillow forts all over the sides of the bed and putting noisy toys (with bells/rattles and such) on top so that when she tried to crawl over, I'd hear. I finally through a tantrum big enough that dh disassembled the bed. Fortunately at that house, we had an attic. Thats the only house we've ever had an attic at. (I love attics, I think they're so cool!) We don't even own a frame/box spring for our bed now. Havent in years. I'm wondering if maybe the mold problem is in more humid climates? We've had no issues. 


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#19 of 50 Old 12-01-2012, 06:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Omgosh, that must have been scary.  How did you know that it wasn't just an ordinary bump on the head?  


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#20 of 50 Old 12-01-2012, 06:17 PM
 
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She was around 5-6 months old. Her cry was just kinda different. You know how when a kid hurts themselves there's a really loud, pissed off screamy cry? Sometimes with that "silent scream" before it (the longer they are silent before they catch their breath and scream, the louder you know its going to be!) Anyway, she didn't do that. At all. There wasn't variations in volume, pitch, etc of the cry. It was just a very steady cry. It was weird. She wouldn't nurse, she wouldn't suck her thumb. She would go from the steady, monotonous almost cry to asleep, completely seamlessly! If I adjusted her position in my arms at all, it was seamless from asleep to the weird cry. I called the ped to describe, and they recommended we head to the ER. As we were getting our things together to get ready to leave, she started vomiting, which I took as confirmation that she probably had a concussion. She vomited several times in the waiting room, too. They did a ct scan and there was a fracture, and they just kept her overnight for observation. 


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#21 of 50 Old 12-01-2012, 06:19 PM
 
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Originally Posted by rubidoux View Post

 

Meepycat,  Do you (or did you) do something to make sure your little ones didn't take a substantial fall?  I know my OP sounds judgy.  I'm sorry.  I don't actually think that the only way to co-sleep safely is to have your mattress on the floor.  But I do feel frustrated when I see that babies have fallen out.  It may be that mattress plus boxspring on carpet w padding under is a safe comfortable option, or railings (I've always felt skeptical of railings not bc they wouldn't be safe for kids but bc I couldn't see having to climb over them), or those pillowy bumper-type things.  Maybe there is something cushy that could be put around the edges of the bed.  BUT I just can't wrap my head around leaving ones baby in a bed and then being shocked when they fall out and then question whether or no "co-sleeping" is safe.  It is only safe if you do it safely.

 

Rubidoux, it's *absolutely* unsurprising when babies fall out of beds, and I agree not necessarily a judgment on co-sleeping when it happens.  I do, however, understand the parental response that is, basically "no effin' way we're doing *that* again." 

 

Our co-sleeping was always pretty ad libbed.  DH is an incredibly restless sleeper, and we were agreed that it was never, ever, safe for him to be alone in a bed with the baby - someone always needed to be between him and the kid.  I often wound up with the babe in the spare bedroom.  The bed was up against the wall, and I'd put myself between the baby and the open edge of the bed.  This is only a good safety measure if the child is never alone in the bed ever.  The sleeping arrangement we actually planned was the baby in the pack 'n play in the same room as us - if you ask the formal pediatrician's organization, they *adore* this sleeping arrangement for newborns, but it's lacking in benefits for exhausted parents - you can't nurse without getting up, for example.  Every time I brought the baby into bed with me, I thought it was "just for tonight", and I wound up doing it every night for months.

 

IMO, one reason why co-sleeping gets the rep for being dangerous is NOT because of parents who plan it.  It's because of, to be honest, parents like me, who take it up as an ad-libbed solution to a frequent waking infant, and consequently don't have the setup.  These parents make up the vast majority of co-sleepers. 

 

I get really frustrated with just about every post in the world that involves the question "why don't people just?"  It's not that it's judgmental, it's that it seems to me to lack imagination.  In this case, consider that roughly 30% of mothers of newborn in the United States are recovering from abdominal surgery, and that abdominal surgery is FAR from the only issue that might lead people to want their beds off the floor at least a little bit.

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#22 of 50 Old 12-01-2012, 08:57 PM
 
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Here are 3 reasons some people might not, these are signficant in some areas 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scorpion

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brown_recluse_spider

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hobo_spider


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#23 of 50 Old 12-01-2012, 09:28 PM
 
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Our mattress can't go on the floor due to the arrangement of heating vents and doors in our bedroom.


He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.  ~Albert Einstein
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#24 of 50 Old 12-01-2012, 10:47 PM
 
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We will be putting a mattress on the floor in DD's room as we transition her out of her crib/off my lap in the recliner to make it possible for me to manage her and little sibling arriving in the summer. We have a proper bed in the master bedroom and don't usually cosleep on it. Besides DH's medical issue, the biggest reason for me is that I need one place in the house where I feel like a grownup and maybe *gasp* like a woman without the endless diapers/drool/vomit/pee/avocado/whatever caked on me. I love the idea of the mattress on the floor but truthfully don't look forward to getting up off of it near my due date. I've spent a lot of time sleeping with DD but I just can't bring myself to do it in my one safe haven away from kiddo land (outside of being VERY desperate for sleep). I'm a big supporter of remove the problem rather than fight an endless battle but some things for me are just nonnegotiable; furniture for instance. I don't have fancy, high end furniture but I need chairs and a big girl bed. I'm happy to sleep with DD when she needs it on her mattress in her room but when she is sleeping great, I need to retreat to my own space to recharge and be me for a few hours because come morning, we will be back to life with a young toddler where pregnant or not, I struggle to meet my own basic needs. I hope that makes some sense. It's 3 am and I can't get back to sleep and feel like a zombie.
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#25 of 50 Old 12-02-2012, 07:48 AM
 
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Because it provides easier access to scorpions.

Because I was not going to disassemble my antique sleigh bed with no place to put it, and no place to put the stuff stored underneath. 

Because my ceramic tile floor is ice cold in the winter and I would prefer to have space between us and the floor. 

Because I simply didn't want to. My baby never fell out of bed even when crawling on it. 

One solution is to tuck the edge of a blanket underneath you, wrap the blanket around the baby and then tuck the other end underneath your body. 

Sorry this drives you so crazy, but seriously if putting your mattress on the floor was considered necessary for cosleeping, I'm sure many people would choose not to do it.

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#26 of 50 Old 12-02-2012, 08:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Because it provides easier access to scorpions.

Because I was not going to disassemble my antique sleigh bed with no place to put it, and no place to put the stuff stored underneath. 

Because my ceramic tile floor is ice cold in the winter and I would prefer to have space between us and the floor. 

Because I simply didn't want to. My baby never fell out of bed even when crawling on it. 

One solution is to tuck the edge of a blanket underneath you, wrap the blanket around the baby and then tuck the other end underneath your body. 

Sorry this drives you so crazy, but seriously if putting your mattress on the floor was considered necessary for cosleeping, I'm sure many people would choose not to do it.

 

It sounds like you have awfully nice stuff.  I always thought if I was in a position to have nice stuff it would give me more options, not less.  I've never had an antique anything.  I just threw away my IKEA bedframe and never gave it a second thought.  I'll get a new one someday, probably. 

 

I am happy that your baby's head never hit that tile floor.  I think you must have been very diligent to make that blanket thing work.  I very much doubt that it would have kept mine in the bed.  I can't keep a blanket on him for two minutes, he hates them.  

 

I had never thought of the problem of scorpions and spiders and such.  We have black and brown widows here, but I have a feeling that the likelihood of being bitten by a spider here is a fair amount smaller than getting a decent bump on the head.  I've never lived anywhere where a serious spider bite was a serious threat.


Jayne, sewing up a storm mama to ds1 9/03, ds2 2/09, and 2 sweet furbabies.

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#27 of 50 Old 12-02-2012, 08:51 AM
 
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I am sure people who sleep on the flor (mats, mattresses, etc.) still feel like women wink1.gif

I'm sure some do. But I certainly don't when I have not had three minutes of privacy to myself in 72 hours. Maybe I'm selfish, maybe I'm an introvert but I just need some time not to be touched or poked or crawled upon to recharge for the next day. Maybe part of my point was missed: I intend to put a mattress on the floor for DD and sleep there when she really needs me. But when she's blissfully asleep and doesnt give a poop about where I end up, I love to crawl into my big girl bed for a few hours and regain some personal space and independence. I don't feel like a woman when I'm in full on sleep deprivation mode with DD hanging off me every second. I feel like her mommy and that's that. I have no sense of self when I'm so absorbed into her. It's not healthy and I hate it. I can go a couple of weeks like that when she's sick or teething or whatever because she needs me. When she's fine, I need some space when I can get it. Is it so bad to want a safe place to be myself when circumstances allow?
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#28 of 50 Old 12-02-2012, 08:52 AM
 
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It sounds like you have awfully nice stuff.  I always thought if I was in a position to have nice stuff it would give me more options, not less.  I've never had an antique anything.  I just threw away my IKEA bedframe and never gave it a second thought.  I'll get a new one someday, probably. 

 

I am happy that your baby's head never hit that tile floor.  I think you must have been very diligent to make that blanket thing work.  I very much doubt that it would have kept mine in the bed.  I can't keep a blanket on him for two minutes, he hates them.  

 

I had never thought of the problem of scorpions and spiders and such.  We have black and brown widows here, but I have a feeling that the likelihood of being bitten by a spider here is a fair amount smaller than getting a decent bump on the head.  I've never lived anywhere where a serious spider bite was a serious threat.

I'm sure I must have been worried but somehow it worked. His head hit that floor on several other occasions when learning to walk and it makes a horrifying sound.

The bed came with the husband :) and we didn't actually have a cosleeping plan prior to birth. We had a bassinet plan. Baby told me that wasn't going to work out.  

I think another solution might be to set up the cosleeper for added safety even if they sleep in the bed but I couldn't afford a cosleeper.  

The truly dangerous scorpions here can, of course, climb vertical surfaces but we still always take precautions to lessen the chance. My friend found one in her cosleeper, so unfortunately there's no guarantee. 

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#29 of 50 Old 12-02-2012, 09:38 AM
 
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We thought it was a no-brainer to put our mattress on the floor too. And we're poor, so buying a bed frame for a king sized mattress seemed like something we might reasonably redirect to more important things, like food and electricity. 

But, I had a HELLISH, SPD-filled pregnancy on that mattress on the floor. Like, crying in agony trying to get to my feet. Never again! 

When we moved, we picked up the mattress and were horrified to find the bottom covered in mold. As it turns out, we can remove the fabric portion of our mattress (it's a latex block inside), so I washed the heck out of the fabric with tto, borax and vinegar, and then sprayed down the latex and let it dry. The mattress is still incredibly stained, but I'm reasonably confident that the mold is dead. I'm very, very much looking forward to an actual bed frame for this pregnancy. We'll never put a mattress on the floor again - the mold risk is way too high!

My inlaws have extremely high beds, and sleeping there always makes me a bit nervous. The only time we've had trouble though was when we were trying to fit three of us into their double guest bed. 

I think people just need to be aware, and careful. If putting their mattress on the floor makes it better for them, then so be it (but for the love of all things, please, please, please check the bottom for mold!). Kids fall all the time, whether they are co-sleepers or not, so I'm not even close to convinced that putting your mattress on the floor is going to prevent your child from being hurt. 


For greater things are yet to come...

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#30 of 50 Old 12-02-2012, 09:43 AM
 
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I didn't know about the mold issue either. Like I said, we've had ours on the floor for years and I just checked and no mold. But I live in San Diego. It's pretty dry here. We have had both dogs and children pee in the bed, only a handful of times, but still... And I've just jumped up and down on a towel over it and then sprayed w vinegar. -- and those spots have not gotten moldy. I am a little concerned that what I thought was just grungyness from a little milk overflow when ds2 was an infant could be mold. I have just been grimacing at it when I change the sheets w/o any more thought. I wonder how I figure out if it's mold? That was over 3 years ago though. Do you think I need to worry about it? Ds 1 and I are both allergic to mold.

The mold can be inside the mattress, id still consider it a possibility..

Also I second the scorpian issue. At my parents house my oldest sleeps on a futon in the floor and he has had a scorpian in the covers. Luckily the dog alerted us before he got stung.

Single, student mama slingboy.gif to 3 boys jumpers.gif 

 

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