I am primarily in charge of the nightime parenting because DH sleeps very heavy and often does not wake up even when I try really hard to wake him. The 3yo can also try to wake him without much luck. We have a newborn DD and are trying to figure out sleeping arrangements with a pretty high needs 3yo DS and trying to stay sane. It is causing a lot of issues between me and DH at times because I get exhausted and need him to be available. Anyone had similar issues or suggestions?
We coslept with DS for 2.5 years and have somewhat transitioned him to a big boy bed in the adjacent office space to our room. We had the same issues then but they are intensified with two babies since DS wants back in the the bed.
Hard to change that kind of sleep habit!
DH and I had an agreement: I would do the nighttime parenting, he would take the kids in the morning and let me sleep in. That worked for a couple of years, more or less.
Not the answer you were looking for, I'm sure, but there are other solutions outside the box you can consider if waking him up is impossible.
To do this on your own: put what you need on the bedside table, put a diaper changing station on the corner of the bed. The goal is to not get out of bed, ever. It helps-- really it does.
Hopefully someone will post with a solution more along the lines of what you seem to want-- like a cattle prod?
"Let me see you stripped down to the bone. Let me hear you speaking just for me."