troublesome night time battles - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 2 Old 12-14-2012, 05:27 PM - Thread Starter
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Hi -- my son will be 4 in April. When I started working exactly a year ago, my husband started to take long work trips -- such as 3-4 weeks away, 1 week at home. And my son started co-sleeping with me. I (sometimes full-time with my husband) was taking care of him with a part-time nanny/helper until I started working. He had already made the big boy bed transition but he was never a fan of his room. So I think he was missing me during the day and making up for it at night.


This continued for 9 months pretty much -- with a month or so break in between when we were all out of the country (in Dubai). Then we left home and moved to Dubai to a studio hotel apartment and then to another hotel apartment. He wanted to co-sleep of course, but my husband is extremely against it, so I would sleep next to my son on the air mattress on the floor. Then we moved to a one bedroom and bought him a proper boy's bed and put it in our bedroom. But he and I have spent many nights on the couch where he wants to sleep next to me to feel cozy and relaxed. When my husband is travelling, I have let him sleep in the marital bed.


I love cuddling with my son and have no issues with co-sleeping, but my husband is very much against it. So the night-time battle is either with my son or with my husband. Putting my son through so many changes in his environment is bound to take a toll, so I prefer to tackle the healthy sleeping issue when we settle in a home.


My son is in school from 8am to 2pm. We are phasing out the daytime nap so that he can be asleep between 7 and 8pm. Despite all these moves, he has a very structured bedtime routine. However, he does fall asleep when I am next to him, so when he wakes up he looks for me and wakes me up (if I am not next to him) which is a big interruption and is wearing down my immune.


He always says his bed is not comfy. My husband does not believe him, but I do. There must be something that is not right about his bed. But then he will sleep anywhere if I am with him.


I am aware that we have to first settle into a home and create a cozy bedroom for him before any of these issues can be solved. And once we move into a home, I need to get him to fall asleep on his own so that he doesn't look for me when he wakes up. He also has mild eczema (far better now than it used to be) which makes the backs of his knees itchy during the night, so that is one reason he wakes up. He also has been nappy-free at night time for more than a year, which means he will wake up if he needs to pee and then he will remember that he wants to fall asleep with me.


If I slept well with him next to me, I would try to convince my husband to let our son decide when he wants to fully transition to his own bed. But I don't sleep well. Nighttime is often like a series of naps for me, and I don't know for how long I can bare it.


Any input would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

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#2 of 2 Old 01-04-2013, 11:39 AM
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that sounds like a difficult situation. i am bumping your thread in hopes that someone has some good input to offer.

Midwifery student , Mama to my 4 amazing kids. treehugger.gif

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