Can I just keep living on no sleep forever? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 12-31-2012, 02:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi. I feel like my life is literally impossible sometimes - like I am amazed that my body still functions. About half the time, I get ZERO sleep. The other half, it's maybe two hours, broken up into little bits.

 

My 9 month old daughter ONLY sleeps when nursing.

 

We have been cosleeping from birth. I never got the hang of sleeping while she was latched on. My husband does not sleep with us because he sleepwalks and it's dangerous to have him around her at night - we tried.

 

About 3 months ago when it became unbearable I decided to try moving her ino her own bed (a floor-bed frame with a crib mattress in a baby-proof room). I thought I would begin by nursing her to sleep on her bed, then sleeping beside her, and then I would gradually move further away and eventually out of the room.

 

Well, now we are just cosleeping but on a tiny tiny mattress.

 

I read the no cry sleep solution but I have no energy for all of that. she only naps in a sling while i am walking and does not sleep at night unless she is nursing. I literally never get to lie down at all. Zero breaks ever.

 

I hate this. What can I do? I amamazed sometimes that I am still alive, this just seems crazy.

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#2 of 10 Old 12-31-2012, 02:35 AM
 
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Babies are really hard. :( And it sounds like you're in an especially difficult situation.

 

No. You can't. You need to get a break for yourself. You say your husband can't cosleep with the baby, but can he take the baby for a few hours in the evening or morning so you can sleep? Or get someone else to take her so you can get some rest during the day.

 

You might try seeing if she will nap while being walked in a stroller, or in a carrier with someone else.

 

Can you try some different positions to see if you can find one in which you can sleep while she nurses?

 

Being a mother is very hard, but *you matter too*. You need to get some sleep (I know it's difficult, and I'm working on setting things up so I can...it's a constant struggle). And you deserve some sleep.

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#3 of 10 Old 12-31-2012, 08:34 AM
 
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If she naps while she is in a carrier, can your husband have her in the carrier during the day for a few hours while you go take a nap?

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#4 of 10 Old 12-31-2012, 10:58 AM
 
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I have just started putting a big pillow behind me when I lay down to nurse. I haven't managed to fall asleep like that yet but I definitely feel more comfortable. Maybe that could help you?
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#5 of 10 Old 12-31-2012, 04:45 PM
 
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I agree with the rest. Having some sort of help will make this easier. Either friends, family, or paid strangers.

Does your baby cry a lot. Maybe reflux issues.

Many thought I was crazy for getting my dd a queen as a preschooler when she got her own room. I knew that our second bed had to be able to handle co sleeping. Def consider a larger bed for the child's room.

I've had to deal with a partner that had issues with taking on a parenting role. Your husband needs to care for the baby and establish his skill set to put the baby to sleep as well as take a shift with the baby that allows you to get some solid sleep

mom to 14yr dd and 4yr dd
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#6 of 10 Old 12-31-2012, 05:15 PM
 
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My DH (who also has sleep issues and cannot cosleep) takes the toddler in the morning while the baby and I sleep another hour or so. I agree with the other posters, have your (awake) DH take your daughter while you go to bed early and/or sleep late. As I'm sure you know, even an hour more sleep can help a great deal!

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#7 of 10 Old 12-31-2012, 09:28 PM
 
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Once when I experienced a serious lack of sleep, and it seemed like I was sleepwalking for days (dd was teething and thrashing and being clingy), I took a night off, went to a cushy hotel, took a long uninterrupted bath and slept for about 10 hours. Would you believe that one night completely restored me?! It was so worth the sore boobs in the morning, and dd was actually just fine with grandma for that night. Whew. I was refreshed and ready to be the nighttime feeding tank once again.

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#8 of 10 Old 12-31-2012, 09:48 PM
 
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Have you tried a paci?  She may need the soothing sucking comfort?  DD1 was 6 months when I introduced the paci for the same reason.... nursing all night and screaming when she was not attached.  she adjusted quite easily and I would get 3-4 hour chunks after that.  It was amazing.

 

I would also move back into a bigger bed since she is not sleeping either place and it sounds like it would be more comfortable in a bigger bed.

 

Sorry mama, hope you get rest soon.

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#9 of 10 Old 01-04-2013, 06:31 PM
 
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To the question of how long can you live on not enough sleep- a long time.  I haven't gotten an unbroken night's sleep since my twins were born two and a half years ago.  Many nights I am awakened repeatedly.  I don't recommend it, and my quality of life is less and my temper is shorter than it used to be, but I have many moments of joy and love.

 

I agree about the bigger bed, first of all.  A futon on the floor is good because it is not far to roll of of and it doesn't wiggle and bounce like a regular bed when you sneak out.

 

Getting bright sunshine in the face in the morning is good for setting the body clock.  I have found even a south facing window can do the trick.  It makes a difference both for my little guys and for me.

 

THe second thing is that I have confidence that your child will sleep without nursing.  Even if you don't feel that confidence now, you can at least have mine.  It may take some figuring and trying, but it will happen.  Try different things.  My super fussy twin was comforted by my holding him while bouncing on an exercise ball.  Obviously you can't sleep while bouncing, but breaking the association between nursing and sleep may be a help.  Rocking, back patting, singing, some people swear by the swing.  If you are there, you are not abandoning the child.  It is not a parenting crime to do what you need to do to lie down and sleep, you need to do this for your sanity and safety which is of paramount importance to your child.  While you are figuring it out find someone to spell you, husband parent, nice lady from church, someone will do it for you.

 

Do take care of yourself, mama.  I know that feeling of desperation, and it is terrible.  I feel for you.

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#10 of 10 Old 01-04-2013, 06:59 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chloe'sMama View Post

Have you tried a paci?  She may need the soothing sucking comfort?  DD1 was 6 months when I introduced the paci for the same reason.... nursing all night and screaming when she was not attached.  she adjusted quite easily and I would get 3-4 hour chunks after that.  It was amazing.

 

I would also move back into a bigger bed since she is not sleeping either place and it sounds like it would be more comfortable in a bigger bed.

 

Sorry mama, hope you get rest soon.

I agree with all the posters about finding someone, some way that can hold her for a few hours for you.  I have been there, I had a baby that wouldn't even let her daddy hold her for the first six months, for more than a few minutes without crying for me.  But it has to happen, even if just once every few months.  You cannot function without it.    Sleep deprivation is used as a torture method for a reason.  A silver lining  in my case was things got monumentally better in all areas with her around 18 months, so there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

 

I'll also second the pacifier.  I was noncommittal on them, but both of my kids LOVED them and it helped them sleep, and was magnificent, and did not impact breastfeeding at all.  I know some people are against them, but really, could a pacifier be worse than what you're living right now?  That is a clear,  resounding NO, in my book.   It took some work for my high needs baby to actually accept the pacifier, but after a few weeks she used it and sleep got much, much better for both of us. 


Heather, WAHM to DS (01/04)DD (06/06). Wed to DH(09/97)
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