Dad can't get 5 month old to nap - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 5 Old 01-31-2013, 06:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
rktrump's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 48
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I feel like all I think about is baby sleep!  I seek suggestions regarding baby's Dad having trouble getting him to nap:

 

My husband is a stay-at-home Dad and so far I've been lucky enough to mostly work from home.  But, I now need to go into the office from time to time (a couple times a week for 1/2 days) and before long will need to be in the office more regularly.  The trouble is, our 5 month old gets hysterical most times Dad tries to put him down for a nap.  Jack is held/danced/sung to until he falls asleep (by me) for every nap (3/day) and sometimes fusses a bit (he fought every nap like he was being tortured a few weeks ago, but no longer does).  However, when Dad has nap duty, the majority of the time Jack gets hysterical and inconsolable (even if Dad comes out of nap mode into play mode).  On more than 1 occasion I've rushed home from work because this went on for an hour or so.  Dad and baby are great playmates - the only problem is nap time.  And, I can usually work it to where they only need to manage 1 nap while I'm gone.  Skipping the nap isn't an option, because my kiddo needs his sleep!

 

I don't want to have to sleep train and refuse to do CIO, but I'm at my wit's end for how to manage this logistically and psychologically.  

 

Suggestions?

 

P.S. Kiddo no longer likes to nap in carrier's much, so that which was our previous go-to for Dad naps is not a good option anymore.  Dad can get him to take at least a short nap by taking him for a walk, but weather doesn't always permit, and this isn't much of a sustainable option when I've got to be in the office more.

rktrump is offline  
#2 of 5 Old 02-01-2013, 05:24 AM
 
mamazee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: US midwest
Posts: 7,500
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Do you have a swing or something dad can put him in? He doesn't have to nap in bed, and dad might have to do something different than you do. Even just hold him in another part of the house until he falls asleep on his own. He must associate the nap with you - either where he goes to sleep, or the routine - so dad might need to put him to sleep somewhere else or have a different routine.
mamazee is offline  
#3 of 5 Old 02-01-2013, 07:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
rktrump's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 48
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I agree that we've definitely allowed a Mom/Nap association to form (oops).  Dad had been pretty much trying the same nap routine I do, so trying to switch that up makes sense.

 

FYI, Once he's asleep in my arms, or all but asleep, I put him down in a swing for naps.

 

The last couple days this has actually gotten worse.  When Dad's on nap duty, Jack gets a bottle 20ish minutes before sleep time.  Now he's started to freak out crying when the bottle comes out (not even waiting until the nap part of the routine gets near) - pulling our hair out!

 

Also, we co-sleep, but baby always sleeps on my side of the bed between me and wall (we have created a very safe set-up).  Do you think baby sleeping next to Dad, or between us, would help create a Dad/Sleep association?  I've always heard co-sleeping is safest when baby's next to Mom only, so I'm a bit nervous about changing that up.  (note: babe's just over 5 months old, in case that matters).

rktrump is offline  
#4 of 5 Old 02-03-2013, 11:29 PM
 
Ema629's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 11
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
To help ease the transition, you might think about recording you singing his naptime songs. Dad can quietly dance to the recording, gradually sing along, then go solo. They need time to figure out their own rhythm, and you rushing home to the rescue is great mommy instinct, but it's not giving them a chance to figure each other out and bond. It takes time, patience, and practice. Since there is a strong association with you and naptime, maybe think about dad putting the baby down for all the naps for awhile even if you are at home. Maybe try a different carrier. We cosleep as well and my DD has always slept between the both of us with no problem.
Ema629 is offline  
#5 of 5 Old 02-04-2013, 08:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
rktrump's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 48
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Your advice makes perfect sense (except that I actually hum quietly, so I don't know how much help a recording would be :)).  I think the key is patience, which isn't particularly my strong suit.  It's tough to just let Jack cry and cry and Dad feel defeated when I know I can help.  But, obviously something's gotta give.

rktrump is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off