Baby in middle? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 10 Old 05-01-2013, 10:01 AM - Thread Starter
 
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DS is 12 weeks old. We've been bed sharing since day 1. Like many, this wasn't part of the initial plan, but here we are and it's been working out well.

Of course, there are some challenges. We have a queen (no room for king or sidecar crib) and while DH and I are not large people, it's certainly tighter with 3. The order is DS, me, DH. I finally removed the rarely-used co-sleeper and put up a bed rail. This has helped somewhat as we can sleep closer to the edge, but DS and I always wind up towards the middle of the bed. He doesn't even move much, just wraps his little arms around me and sleeps. I think it's due to gravity.

Thing is, when I switch up the order so I'm near the rail we have so much more room as I stay really close to the edge. I do this to feed him from my other boob as we like to do side-line at night. I don't roll towards the middle like DS does and it feels so much more spacious. While I try to keep myself awake during the feeding so I can switch us back, I've dozed off now and then. My concern is that it's not supposed to be safe for dads to sleep next to baby. DH has also expressed interest in sleeping next to our son and insists he's always aware of him, but I tell him no, it's dangerous.

Does anyone let their LO sleep in the middle? If so, what age did you start?

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#2 of 10 Old 05-03-2013, 02:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Anyone?

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#3 of 10 Old 05-03-2013, 02:52 AM
 
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DH has said he'd sleep with DS in the middle as well but I always say no.  Its a breastfeeding mum's hormones that make her so aware of the baby and their position in a bed and DH can't breastfeed!!  I would definitely say its a no-no for the first year or more.  Once I had DS in the middle just for a feeding position - I was thankfully wide awake and intended to move DS when he'd fallen asleep - when DH rolled backwards and would have rolled on DS if it wasn't for me holding him back and waking him up.  Never ever again.


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#4 of 10 Old 05-03-2013, 05:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks ^. I was thinking one year, as well. I was feeding DS last night and all of a sudden DH's arm landed on him. I don't know if he was purposely trying to cuddle or if it was absent-mindedly done in his sleep, but either way, I did not like it. My BFing mama radar immediately swooped in and pushed his arm away, but it's true. Men just don't seem as aware.

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#5 of 10 Old 05-03-2013, 08:36 AM
 
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Yeah DH has also thrown his arm on him a few times.  I just don't think its worth the risk of putting baby in the middle just yet.  We've just purchased a new kingsize bed and that's made all the difference.  Is there any way you can make enough space to up-size your bed?  Can you perhaps move wardrobes into another room or do you have storage space elsewhere in the home that you could take advantage of?  You can pack loads of stuff in vacuum bags - they save a ton of space - then perhaps move them into storage. 


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#6 of 10 Old 05-03-2013, 08:43 AM
 
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My babies slept between us, but my husband doesn't move in his sleep. If he did move in his sleep, I wouldn't have had the baby between us. When the baby is a toddler, it should be fine, but while the baby is little, if he's moving around like that, I wouldn't personally put him between you.
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#7 of 10 Old 05-14-2013, 03:57 PM
 
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I think it just depends on what kind of a sleeper your DH is.  My DH is a light sleeper and he doesn't tend to move much so we have slept with DD in the middle since she was born and she is a year old now. Me & DH talked about which sleeping arrangement worked best for us & like your DH, he said he was very aware of her and he was, but I think you should wait until you feel safe with it.


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#8 of 10 Old 05-14-2013, 05:05 PM
 
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I agree.  Depends on your DH.  We have had all of our kids in the middle at some point.  DD1 from day 1, DD2, mostly from about 6 months on (DD1 really wanted to stay in the middle at first), and DS from the beginning too.  I am much more worried about blankets and pillows than I am of DH.  If your DH wants to try, I say try..... 

 

My rules with DH (or me), if there have been any drinks or pain killers or, of course, sleep aids, I will not let DH sleep next to the little ones, otherwise, he seems to be just as alert as I am.  If I had a DH that slept really soundly and wildly... I would not want them next to each other.


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#9 of 10 Old 05-14-2013, 08:03 PM
 
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Is anyone willing to go into more detail on baby in the middle positions. Where is the blankets/pillows? Does baby stay in one spot, higher up than you/your partners head? Is that how to keep blankets away, being at a different height? Does baby have sonething underneath for leaks? I need to start my own thread i guess, sorry if i am taking over &being overwhelming.
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#10 of 10 Old 05-14-2013, 09:01 PM
 
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Mine have always slept in the middle for parts of the night. I move side to side as I feed.

Their head is usually at about my breast or shoulder height. If I want the covers up higher then I move down so our heads are at the same level.

I sleep with my head at the end of the pillow so most of the pillow is behind me and thus nowhere near the baby. I'm more conscious of it now but I've always slept like that so it wasn't a big adjustment.

I don't think DH is as aware of them as I am but he's a fairly quite sleeper. It hasn't been a problem so far (our second babe is 6 months old).

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Cosleeping , Family Bed , Sleep Sharing Configurations

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