I just got a call from my day care provider - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
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#61 of 75 Old 05-30-2013, 03:13 PM
 
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Originally Posted by phathui5 View Post

Can you provide a source to support this? 

Which? The antibiotic properties of chamomile, or why chlorine is added to tap water?
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#62 of 75 Old 06-04-2013, 05:02 PM
 
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Just a thought, I didn't read all the comments here so maybe this has already been mentioned, but putting soothing music on before bed and while your son is falling asleep may be helpful. Specifically, harp music has been found to be extremely soothing for children. I suggested this to my husband whenever one of our babies is fussy because they want me and I'm not available. He has mentioned over and over how quickly they quiet down.

 

I understand your frustration from the lack of sleep or interruption of your time with your husband. I've had to deal with this issue off and on. Consistency is so important. When we got our latest foster children, they were very disruptive to the established routine of our two bio sons (the three boys shared a room which didn't help). It took around 2 months of us having to intervene and restate the rules around 10X a night, but eventually they got it.

 

Be encouraged - this is really, really hard, but it will eventually pass - and you'll have a boatload of things to suggest to a mom going through something similar. Celebrate the little victories when they happen!!!!

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#63 of 75 Old 06-05-2013, 08:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by NSmomtobe View Post

Thanks, everyone. I have explored food sensitivities in the past and not come up with anything, but I am getting myself checked out for sensitivities next month, which may lead to further exploration with DS.

 

I agree with the no TV after dinner (which is hard since we tend to have dinner right away, but we can work with this rule). 

I agree with the soft/quiet atmosphere. Reading will be a good activity for the whole family.

I will look into lavender, and maybe warm milk and honey (although he gets Mommy milk, so I don't know if it is necessary).

My oldest son did not sleep during the day from the day he was born.  He was up to 11 pm every night.  Always happy but not tired.  If we put him in the baby swing or he rode in the car, he would have a short power nap and then be up even later.  As a newborn he would only nurse for a bit and any little distraction would get his attention and the nursing would stop.  He was gaining weight very slowly. 

When he was 10 months old, I took him off foods with salicylates (a lot of fruit, tomatoes, cucumbers) and he napped the next day for the first time.  After that he was a good sleeper.  I nursed him exclusively until he was 6 months old and the naturopath said he was getting the salicylates from what I was eating.  You can google the foods with salicylates.

Also, the book "Raising your Spirited Child" helped me immensely.  It has many good ideas, one being keeping the same routine EVERY single night.

Good luck!


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#64 of 75 Old 06-06-2013, 10:20 AM
 
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Sorry, I haven't read all the replies, so I apologize if this has been said. My DD1 is a bad sleeper. Lately I give her a Bach flower remedy called Rescue Sleep liquid melts. They are homeopathic and perfectly safe. I also give her a bath with Epsom salts. It seems to help her relax.

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#65 of 75 Old 06-10-2013, 10:19 AM
 
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"As for the sleeping arrangements, I don't think he is able to sleep without someone there. He has his own toddler bed, but it barely stays in it as it is."

I am no sleep expert but I can tell you what worked for my two year old. She got to have a adult bed (full size) all to herself. We did co sleep until two but eventually I had enough. And she wasn't sleeping good up a bunch o times in the night. I still lay with her initially to get her to sleep but then I leave. If she wakes and calls for me I go in to tuck her back in and that is all. Ever since then she sleeps all night most of the time.
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#66 of 75 Old 06-10-2013, 06:44 PM
 
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Off Topic - just answering pek64's question

 

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Originally Posted by pek64 View Post

Why would chamomile not attack helpful bacteria? An antibiotic is an antibiotic.

Sorry I didn't see this earlier.

 

Antibiotic effects are often determined by the mechanism through which a substance kills bacteria (research bactericide and bacteriostatic) AND how it comes in contact with the bacteria. Pharmaceutical antibacterial meds and plant-based antibacterials often work in different ways.  Regardless, I would say that even putting a dose or two of pharmaceutical erythromycin in a pillow and then sleeping with that little pillow would not necessarily disrupt one's gut ecology.  I, personally, wouldn't choose to sleep with an antibiotic medicine like that, but I also would not assume it would wipe out all my beneficial bacteria if I did so.  Your example of chlorine - chlorine dioxide is an antimicrobial through oxidation.  It needs to come in physical contact with bacteria, where it oxidizes certain components of the bacteria's cell wall - literally "stealing" electrons from those cell wall components.  Then the bacteria basically loses the integrity of its cellular membrane and cannot survive.  Luckily our skin has ways to counteract oxidization - but chlorine exposure does take its toll.

 

If you are really interested - 

Plant-based antibacterial effects are through a variety of mechanisms and many antibacterial plants basically change the terrain of the gut, allowing healthy and balanced bacterial colonization while inhibiting overgrowth of any one bacteria.  That is how you can get a selective antibacterial effect.  Our bodies are living and have a have a way of moving towards health and wellbeing, given the proper nutrition and "tools".  We are not passive tissues just waiting to the right substances to fix everything (or mess it all up).  The essential oil of chamomile is what is usually considered a broad spectrum antibacterial - effective against both gram-positive and gram-negative bacteria.  This article has some good info and references about 1/3 of the way down the page if you want to learn more and are interested in scientific studies.

http://pharmacologia.co.uk/abstract.php?doi=pharmacologia.2012.348.351

 

 Just remember that essential oils are highly concentrated forms of medicine - you would have to drink gallons and gallons of tea to get the same amount of medicinal effect as 1 drop of essential oil.

 

A handful of dried chamomile flowers in a pillow will lend the soothing sedative effects of chamomile (through aromatherapy/smell) but would do little in the way of anti-bacterial activity.

 

Hope this info helps.

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#67 of 75 Old 06-11-2013, 08:13 AM
 
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FWIW, Dr. Sears talks about how a child sleeps better at night if they have a nap and I have to agree. On the rare day that my baby doesn't nap, she is up all night on and off and restless when she is asleep.  If she takes her usual 2 hour nap she sleeps like a gem. But this is my experience.Could he be trying to make up for lost time with you since he is in daycare?  I have never had my kids in daycare so I am just thinking.  

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#68 of 75 Old 06-12-2013, 12:11 PM
 
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I can promise you, if you tell your daycare provider she works for you, you will be finding a new daycare provider.  Your daycare provider does NOT work for you.  You pay your daycare provider to take care of your child with many,many other children while you are working.  It's a safe place that your child has fun, is well cared for, but they do not WORK for you.  

 

A nanny works for you.

 

A daycare provider works for themselves.  A daycare provider has insane rules to follow that the government has imposed, and they must follow those rules.  But, a daycare client can and will be replaced within a few days.  Because they don't work FOR the parents.  

NSmomtobe,

Is a nanny an option for you?  It sounds like your son does have more energy than he's able to expend in a daycare setting.  Even hiring a high school student for the summer that could pick him up from daycare at 4 rather than 6 might help. 

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#69 of 75 Old 06-13-2013, 04:53 PM
 
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i think ur a good mom.. i do not know what it is w co-sleeping and nursing passed two, but every mom i have met had this promblem too. in some way. i went though it too. i think just be firm with your son. i know when i get off the computer and get that tv off, my younger ones are out. good luck! thumb.gif


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#70 of 75 Old 06-15-2013, 01:22 AM
 
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Sorry, I cannot read through all posts. My kids are very bad sleepers, some kids just need less sleep than others (one of my professors had a four year old that did not sleep more than four hours ever ;)

 

My DD especially had a difficult time to calm down in the evening. I tried Melatonin, and it worked like a charm. I think there are just kids, where there are some hormonal disbalances, and the melatonin (we used 0,5 mg dragees - which does not even count as a medication here)

The melatonin told her that it was bedtime, and she fell asleep easily. She needed it a couple of years, and now (maybe school routine?) she doesn't need it anymore. 

 

DS is different. Difficult to fall asleep, but he needs enforcement that it is INDEED BEDTIME. I need to lie next to him to keep him calm. Calming noises help. He has SID, so no noises tend to let his sensory system go beserk to create input. So noises such a baby music or someone calmly working next to him helps. He would never fall asleep if I would surf the internet, to interesting. ;) 

He had to be held by me when he was younger to fall asleep, because his thrashing would keep himselp awake. He is dead tired at bedtime though, so I "just" need to keep him quiet for a couple of minutes and he is in Oz. 

 

There are sleep disturbances that have a medical reason. Maybe you check with your ped? 

 

Sorry if I repeated something. 

 

Love.

 

P.S. This nap thing at daycare is really weird. Here in germany is a "sleeping" group for kids who sleep and a "quiet time group" for kids who don't. So, if the kids can't or won't sleep, no problem. 


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#71 of 75 Old 06-15-2013, 06:50 PM
 
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Wow! I can't read all the responses but nextcommercial was definitely one person who wasn't here to support you in finding a solution.

I am both an early childhood educator and elementary teacher and have worked in childcare for many years. Nap time allows the day care provider to get stuff done, but wait a minute, that's not your effing problem! In my opinion, child care is there to care for and educate individual children with individual needs. I have a 3 yr old son as well. He thankfully sleeps well after frequent waking throughout babyhood but he doesn't take a nap unless he is up at an ungodly hour. He wakes between 6 am-6:30 and goes to bed at 7. With a nap, bedtime is horrific. I am currently at home with him and his baby sister but when he goes to day care in the fall, you can sure as hell bet that I will let them know he's not napping and he's not sitting on a cot for. 2 hrs doing nothing either! Here in Canada, they only have to rest for 30 minutes and the have to be provided with a quiet activity. They DO work for you.

What I would suggest is maybe some yoga, stretching, massage (message me if you want some cute ideas about massage songs/games that he might like) to wind down, stories, no TV for like an hour before bed. Maybe a snack of oatmeal or whole grain toast. Maybe a nice bath with some lavender before the wind down. I sometimes use this night night balm from Badgering my kids. Maybe try to keep nursing until he is calm and more receptive to falling asleep. Lights down low. I would do the lead him back over and over again thing for several nights even though it will be exhausting. I would try to start the whole routine very early and about 11-12 hrs after he wakes up in the morning. If he doesn't fall asleep nursing, I would stay for a bit and the day you've got to check the lau dry or go pee or something and then come back,keep doing it but then stay away for longer until he falls asleep before you get back. The trick with that is to practice it a lot of times where you DO come back so you build that trust. Lots and lots of praise for staying in bed and just keep explaining that in order for him to learn and grow he needs sleep,that you have jobs to do in the evening and that you also need sleep to be a good mama. I hope things get better for you soon!
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#72 of 75 Old 06-15-2013, 11:48 PM
 
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I just remembered a bedtime "ploy" that worked with ElderSon at around your child's age. Although we co-slept, I didn't always want to go to bed at his bedtime. After whatever bath/reading/singing routine we had at the time, I would get up and promise, "I am going to leave for ten minutes. If you will lie there for ten minutes with your eyes closed and your mouth closed (no calling for me), I promise I will come back in and check if you are awake. If you are awake, I will read another book. If you are asleep, I will come get in bed in 2 hours". He never made it the ten minutes with his eyes closed without dozing off. And I got a little "me" time! We co-slept for many more years, but I didn't have to go to bed at his bedtime unless I wanted to.


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#73 of 75 Old 06-17-2013, 05:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by mamarhu View Post

I just remembered a bedtime "ploy" that worked with ElderSon at around your child's age. Although we co-slept, I didn't always want to go to bed at his bedtime. After whatever bath/reading/singing routine we had at the time, I would get up and promise, "I am going to leave for ten minutes. If you will lie there for ten minutes with your eyes closed and your mouth closed (no calling for me), I promise I will come back in and check if you are awake. If you are awake, I will read another book. If you are asleep, I will come get in bed in 2 hours". He never made it the ten minutes with his eyes closed without dozing off. And I got a little "me" time! We co-slept for many more years, but I didn't have to go to bed at his bedtime unless I wanted to.

Believe it or not, I have been trying this lately and it is working! You probably do believe it, but I was very surprised. On more than one occasion, he has fallen asleep without me in the room. At first I was checking after 5 minutes, and he was still awake, so I started waiting 10 minutes and he is either asleep or close to it. I rub his back and he is out. 

 

I also found a CD of calming music that I loop for him until I am ready to go to bed myself.


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#74 of 75 Old 06-19-2013, 01:35 PM
 
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This is an oldish thread now, and you seem to be getting through things, and I haven't read all the replies, but...

 

I'm going to be annoying and add one more thought in case it hasn't been said.  Does he HAVE to go to sleep?  Or does he really just need to stay in bed?  I tell my kids that maybe they aren't tired, but their bodies need to rest, and mine certainly does.  So, they have to stay in their beds, and they can't have toys.  I don't care if they go to sleep or not.  (They do, usually.  My 6yo is taking a nap as I type.  We have had several late nights and he is being awful, so I made him lay down.  Bam.  He's out.)


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#75 of 75 Old 06-20-2013, 09:35 PM
 
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My son has trouble sleeping too. His day care provider should be offering what is best for your child. At my sons school the kids have to be quiet during rest, but they can read if they like. I have found some cds that have guided sleep meditations for kids, these have helped us many nights, especially when he is really fighting sleep.
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