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#1 of 9 Old 05-29-2013, 09:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello.I have a 9 month old DD that has never been a great sleeper.Anyways she just went to her 9 month check up and her dr.says that i should really start sleep training her now or things are only going to get harder.During the day she naps in her car seat carrier(long story)i rock her a bit and then she's  asleep and i get 1-2hr naps out of her , and bedtime i give her a bottle and lie her on my bed no rocking and she slowly falls asleep and then i place her in her crib which is in my room on my side of the bed.She does have her own bed in her own room but because she woke up so many times i just made life a little easier for myself and went out and got a mini crib ,not a waste of money in my eyes and it does convert to a twin bed down the long road to come.She still does wake once sometimes twice for a bottle at night and usually falls back to sleep shortly after.I don't believe in CIO method even though she won't remember i will .is there anything wrong in what im doing Some friends say to me do what works where others say im going to make it difficult down the road.So should i try sleeping training her in a non CIO way which i can't see anyway of without her crying or just continue to do what im doing.If theres anyone that did sleep train in a gentle way and would like to share that would be great.I did buy the no cry sleep solution kind of helpful to many steps.Im just tired like every mom with a LO that doesnt sleep well.So a few words or some advice would be great. thx

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#2 of 9 Old 05-29-2013, 06:05 PM
 
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She's so young; I'd totally be in the "do what works" camp. After her first birthday sometime, maybe around 18 months or so you could work on eliminating the nighttime bottles (like gently nightweaning a nursing kiddo) but that can be a very gradual process and I don't see any big reason for that at the moment. My DD has been a good sleeper but frequent waker and she improved a LOT between 12 and 24 months. I think it's actually a bit easier to cut back on night time milk with a toddler since you can explain things and prepare them a bit for the change. I'm no expert, this is simply my approach. I don't like the thought of making babies/very young children being forced to give up their comforts too soon.
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#3 of 9 Old 05-30-2013, 07:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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thx skycheattraffic, I dont feel what im doing is wrong. I believe everything is a phase and yes i agree as they get older they have more understanding . thx

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#4 of 9 Old 05-30-2013, 01:30 PM
 
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I think that the book The No Cry Sleep Solution could be really helpful for you.


Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
13yo ds   10yo dd  8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds  
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#5 of 9 Old 05-30-2013, 08:53 PM
 
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If my twin 9 months old slept that well I'd be in heaven! I have horrible sleep issues with all my kids but the good news is it does pass, though I'm struggling to remind myself of that. Hang in there and only do what your comfortable with, all kids are different.
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#6 of 9 Old 06-02-2013, 07:52 AM
 
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Hi, lockegirl75 --

Just wanted to say that 9 months was tough for us, too -- and my pediatrician was really pushing CIO sleep-training at that visit, partly because my daughter is off the charts for height and weight and he was arguing that she didn't need the nighttime nursing anymore. It was really hard not to doubt myself. We did work on some gentle sleep training in the sense of trying to help our daughter fall back to sleep with patting or backrubs, not just nursing, though if she ramped up from sleepy fussing to actual crying we always nursed. She was going through so much -- learning to climb stairs, to walk, to communicate, plus getting molars -- no wonder she sometimes needed extra reassurance. 

 

She's now 12 and a half months, and guess what -- at her 12-month pediatrician visit (with a different doc, since I was so turned off by the CIO advice), her weight had totally leveled off -- she's still off the charts for height and weight, but she'd gained less than a pound in three months, despite nursing several times a night. She's also on her way to sleeping better most nights ("better" for us means a 4-6 hour stretch in her crib at the start of the night, followed by cosleeping and one or two nursings in our bed for the rest of the night). The wonderful thing is that now that she's developmentally old enough to understand what we're telling her, I feel so much more confident about continuing to gently help her learn to fall asleep on her own. We're practicing what it means to "be quiet" and "lie down" and looking at pictures of sleeping babies and talking about "eyes closed."

 

Now that I'm through to the other side of the first year, all my stress and worry over her sleep and her night feedings feels like so much wasted energy. Sleep is vitally important to health and sanity, of course, so you have to figure out how to get enough of it to stay functional -- but if what you're doing is "working" in the sense that your daughter is happy and well-rested during the day and you're not feeling dangerously tired or depressed or like the lack of sleep is wrecking your life, then I'd go easy on yourself. The people who claim "if you do X now, it'll be IMPOSSIBLE to change later" are just totally unhelpful scaremongers and don't really seem to understand child development, in my humble opinion. Of course you can change the rules and the habits later -- and in a few months, she'll even be able to understand some of what you're saying when you tell her why. Trust your gut for now, do what feels right for you and your baby, and know that the trust you're building with her is going to have such a big payoff for your relationship. Best wishes!

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#7 of 9 Old 06-02-2013, 03:04 PM
 
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If my 9-month-old had only woken up once or maybe twice a night, that would've been awesome. My 18-month-old wakes up 2-3 times in the night.

 

We tried sleep training to no avail. I think they just sleep how they sleep.

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#8 of 9 Old 06-02-2013, 04:53 PM
 
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Just another voice for "wow, 2x a night is AWESOME!" smile.gif

 

We co-sleep, and my two-year-old routinely nurses at least half a dozen times a night (albeit for shorter periods than an infant feeding).  He waxes and wanes, though.  For a while, it will be twice a night (that I remember), then ALOT (when teething) etc.  They have phases.  At nine months, he was nursing several times a night, though - of that, I'm certain.

 

People are obsessed with sleep training. eyesroll.gif  I think you are in the right boat - life after a child is just plain different, and sleep is part of that.  It will get better as they grow (even I have faith in this still winky.gif).  DS has been pretty high needs in all departments (TONS of babywearing, super sensitive, etc.) - I used to tell everyone, I will gain my independence back gradually, as he slowly develops his (this works for lots of nosey pushy people rushing normal, healthy development thumb.gif).  Really, they are only tiny once, for such a short time (it feels long in the trenches, but it's a blink).  Trust your instincts! stillheart.gif


~ Lucky wife of DH blowkiss.gifand loving mama to DS biggrinbounce.gif (04/11) ~

 

treehugger.gif * femalesling.GIF * ecbaby2.gif *cd.gif * familybed1.gif * bf.gif * namaste.gif *

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#9 of 9 Old 06-02-2013, 05:00 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by presentmoment View Post

Just wanted to say that 9 months was tough for us, too -- and my pediatrician was really pushing CIO sleep-training at that visit, partly because my daughter is off the charts for height and weight and he was arguing that she didn't need the nighttime nursing anymore. It was really hard not to doubt myself. We did work on some gentle sleep training in the sense of trying to help our daughter fall back to sleep with patting or backrubs, not just nursing, though if she ramped up from sleepy fussing to actual crying we always nursed. She was going through so much -- learning to climb stairs, to walk, to communicate, plus getting molars -- no wonder she sometimes needed extra reassurance. 

 

She's now 12 and a half months, and guess what -- at her 12-month pediatrician visit (with a different doc, since I was so turned off by the CIO advice), her weight had totally leveled off -- she's still off the charts for height and weight, but she'd gained less than a pound in three months, despite nursing several times a night. She's also on her way to sleeping better most nights ("better" for us means a 4-6 hour stretch in her crib at the start of the night, followed by cosleeping and one or two nursings in our bed for the rest of the night). 

 

nod.gif  We were told this, too.  DS has always been tall, but he was a CHUNKER of a baby! lol.gif  So the doctor said, "well he doesn't really need the night nursing..."  I may have smiled and nodded, but I know I was thinking, "I'll let him be the judge of that, thanks!" orngbiggrin.gif  I mean seriously - infants don't have wants, they have needs.  Period.  Even if they can't communicate why, you need to trust them.

 

Fast forward, DS' weight leveled right off, and his height SHOT up.  Not a bit of baby chub left on him now, but if he hadn't have had it to start with, he'd really be a toothpick!

 

The people who claim "if you do X now, it'll be IMPOSSIBLE to change later" are just totally unhelpful scaremongers and don't really seem to understand child development, in my humble opinion. Of course you can change the rules and the habits later -- and in a few months, she'll even be able to understand some of what you're saying when you tell her why. Trust your gut for now, do what feels right for you and your baby, and know that the trust you're building with her is going to have such a big payoff for your relationship. Best wishes!

yeahthat.gif  Meeting your lil one's needs is the way to go.

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~ Lucky wife of DH blowkiss.gifand loving mama to DS biggrinbounce.gif (04/11) ~

 

treehugger.gif * femalesling.GIF * ecbaby2.gif *cd.gif * familybed1.gif * bf.gif * namaste.gif *

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