When do we use the crib??? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 52 Old 06-24-2013, 07:52 AM
 
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I can't answer about that particular study but there is also info out of Harvard and University Notre Dame.

http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/1998/04.09/ChildrenNeedTou.html

http://cosleeping.nd.edu/
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#32 of 52 Old 06-24-2013, 09:54 AM
 
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There's a great book on the whole topic. The Science of Parenting by Margot Sunderland. It has all the links to the studies in the book.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Science-Parenting-Margot-Sunderland/dp/075663993X

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#33 of 52 Old 06-24-2013, 11:04 AM
 
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Thanks for the responses! I will look into these studies.

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#34 of 52 Old 06-24-2013, 05:17 PM
 
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we do too.

 

no harm at all.

 

just a happy baby.

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#35 of 52 Old 06-24-2013, 06:40 PM
 
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Co-sleeping simply isn't safe and anyone who claims otherwise clearly hasn't researched it enough.

I di agree with keeping baby in the same room with you when you sleep, someone mentioned SIDS and having the baby in your room with you will help give you peace of mind. I suggest keeping the crib in your room.
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#36 of 52 Old 06-24-2013, 06:51 PM
 
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Originally Posted by FlintDoula View Post

Co-sleeping simply isn't safe and anyone who claims otherwise clearly hasn't researched it enough.

Um, welcome to MDC.

 

Co-sleeping isn't safe?  How do you explain the fact that most of the rest of the world does it?  What about it isn't safe? How do you explain the lives & well being of my three children if co-sleeping isn't safe?  Have you read, "Sleeping with Your Baby," by Dr. James McKenna?  Have you heard of Dr. James McKenna?  What research are you expecting people to find to prove co-sleeping isn't safe?  Do you have children?

 

Okay, that's all that's come to me in the first two minutes of pondering this post. winky.gif  I look forward to hearing more from you about this topic. 

 

Best wishes,

Sus


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#37 of 52 Old 06-24-2013, 09:11 PM
 
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Don't get me wrong I'm very much a "crunchy" "hippie" kinda person but I just trust the AAP and the CPSC more than I do SLIGHTLY biased studies. I don't think its an epidemic or anything but its not far to call something safe when it is the reason for the dealth of infants.

To answer more personal questions I am doing relative care for my two little cousins (aged 4 & 5) and have been for the past two years and will most likely adopt them this year. No I don't not have my own kids yet but we are TTC.

Why do you ask?
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#38 of 52 Old 06-24-2013, 09:12 PM
 
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Sorry smartphone won't let me edit far to fair.
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#39 of 52 Old 06-25-2013, 04:39 AM
 
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Safe Co-sleeping Guidelines for anyone who may be considering co-sleeping. Since we live in a culture where co-sleeping, nor breastfeeding, is not the norm, many parents may not realize all of these safety factors.

http://cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/
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#40 of 52 Old 06-25-2013, 04:53 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FlintDoula View Post

Don't get me wrong I'm very much a "crunchy" "hippie" kinda person but I just trust the AAP and the CPSC more than I do SLIGHTLY biased studies. I don't think its an epidemic or anything but its not far to call something safe when it is the reason for the dealth of infants.

To answer more personal questions I am doing relative care for my two little cousins (aged 4 & 5) and have been for the past two years and will most likely adopt them this year. No I don't not have my own kids yet but we are TTC.

Why do you ask?

By that logic, no infants should be sleeping in cribs either since so many have died in them.  SIDS even used to be called crib-death. 

 

eta: The reason for the recommendation to keep the baby in the parents' room isn't parental "peace of mind", it's to lower the risk of SIDS. 

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#41 of 52 Old 06-25-2013, 07:04 AM
 
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Co-sleeping simply isn't safe and anyone who claims otherwise clearly hasn't researched it enough.

 

Or we have researched plenty and come to different conclusions than you.

 

By the way, co-sleeping comes in many forms, including the form you recommended of keeping the crib in the room with the parents. What you are saying isn't safe is bedsharing.


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#42 of 52 Old 06-25-2013, 08:09 AM
 
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Originally Posted by fruitfulmomma View Post

Or we have researched plenty and come to different conclusions than you.

By the way, co-sleeping comes in many forms, including the form you recommended of keeping the crib in the room with the parents. What you are saying isn't safe is bedsharing.

I didn't intend on offending anyone. I don't define sharing a room as "cosleeping" just as sharing a room but I'm sorry if I've hit a nerve it was clearly unintentional. I also don't think that people who beshare are bad parents or that they are going to truly do something to hurt their babys.

The fact is (on average) 50 babys die each year from BESHARING related injuries. If as a parent that is a number you can live with and you think the benefits out weigh the risk by all means that is your choice. I just don't like people claming it is not at all dangerous or unsafe because it is not a true fact. Kids 2 years and older is a much different conversation as well. The first 6 months I had my little cousins with me (they where 3 & 4 at the time) they beshared with me at night until they felt safe enough to go to their room.

I agree with you that we obviously came to a different conclusion. My question to everyone who has done the research and come to the conclusion that bedsharing is safe, how do you justify calling something safe if it kills an average of 50 infants in America each year?

Once again so there are no hurt feelings I don't think it is wrong I just wouldn't personally take the risk myself.
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#43 of 52 Old 06-25-2013, 08:20 AM
 
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how do you justify calling something safe if it kills an average of 50 infants in America each year?

 

I don't want to highjack this thread. Maybe you can start another one if you want to discuss it in detail. 

 

But a few quick thoughts... that number actually seems lower to me than I would think it would be. We had at least 6 in our county and the county next to us last year.

 

What were the circumstances surrounding the deaths? There are very clear guidelines for safe bedsharing and when those are not followed the deaths go up very high.

 

How many crib deaths were there in the last year?


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#44 of 52 Old 06-25-2013, 08:25 AM
 
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#45 of 52 Old 06-25-2013, 09:21 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FlintDoula View Post

Don't get me wrong I'm very much a "crunchy" "hippie" kinda person but I just trust the AAP and the CPSC more than I do SLIGHTLY biased studies. I don't think its an epidemic or anything but its not far to call something safe when it is the reason for the dealth of infants.

To answer more personal questions I am doing relative care for my two little cousins (aged 4 & 5) and have been for the past two years and will most likely adopt them this year. No I don't not have my own kids yet but we are TTC.

Why do you ask?

 

I don't think a label is necessary, but thanks for trying to help me understand.  Others have answered more succinctly than I'm about to do, but I'll respond to each point.  The AAP?  WHo are they?  They are a bunch of doctors, most of whom know nothing of raising infants/children in a normal way.  THey don't know about breastfeeding.  They don't know about nutrition.  They don't know about safe co-sleeping.  Most of them have not breastfed (or their spouses have not), haven't studied nutrition & haven't studied normal human behavior.  I'm not putting them down.  This simply isn't their training & unless they have an interest that leads them to do it on their own, they don't.  They are busy people!  They are also a product of their CULTure & therefore tend to blow the way the wind does.

 

In many areas of our society, we tell people what not to do instead of educating them on doing things safely.  This is a prime example of it.  There's warnings in many places on the dangers of co-sleeping (which is a blanket term which may or may not include things like bed-sharing) rather than an explanation of what things can be done in order to co-sleep safely.  I've seen this tactic used in other areas as well.  I read a blog post from a small babywearing company about the dangers of buying used carriers.  She missed a great opportunity to educate parents on what to look for to make babywearing safe if you choose to purchase carriers second had &, 'hey, when you want to buy new, buy from us!"  You will even hear parents doing this all the time: "NO!, don't touch that!!!" rather than the parent bending down a teaching the child to touch the breakable thing gently.  It's all over the place.

 

The CPSC - isn't that the group that represents and/or makes cribs?  Not an unbiased organization.  They loose money on every family who chooses not to purchase their products.

 

I'm not sure what infant deaths you are referring to, but I know that very often, when a child dies in an UNsafe co-sleeping situation, it's referred to as SIDS.  SIDS is unexplained.  WHen a child dies on a couch, the cause of death is not unexplained.  Again, fear mongering are used to try to discourage a practice that is normal for humans & has been a part of our collective lives for the majority of human history.  I am not saying that there's never been a child to die of true SIDS during safe co-sleeping.  I do know that far more babies die alone in their rooms than die when co-sleeping or bed-sharing safely.  

 

That is awesome that you are caring for your young cousins. thumb.gif I'm sure they are very lucky to have you!!! tiphat.gif I asked because prior to becoming a parent, we often think things have to be a certain way w/ children.  Once we have them, we're usually humbled by something we professed before their arrival.  I know for myself, co-sleeping/bed-sharing was NOT a part of my plan.  I had planned to have my child in a crib in their own room from the first day home from the hospital.  Little did I know that she would have her own plans & that nursing for 1.5 hours out of every 2 around the clock would mean virtually no sleep for me if I tried to put her down.  It all worked out okay though once I realized that what she wanted was normal & in both our best interests.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Asiago View Post

Safe Co-sleeping Guidelines for anyone who may be considering co-sleeping. Since we live in a culture where co-sleeping, nor breastfeeding, is not the norm, many parents may not realize all of these safety factors.

http://cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/

 

Didn't read the link, but thanks for posting info on safe co-sleeping!!!  

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by rachelsmama View Post

By that logic, no infants should be sleeping in cribs either since so many have died in them.  SIDS even used to be called crib-death. 

 

eta: The reason for the recommendation to keep the baby in the parents' room isn't parental "peace of mind", it's to lower the risk of SIDS. 

Yeah, the recommendation to avoid co-sleeping/bed-sharing is not based on logic.  It's based on the thinking that parents can't be taught how to do it safely so we'll say to just avoid it all together.  Kind of along the same lines of the flawed logic behind, "an intact penis isn't clean!"  Right, "we can't teach him to clean it so we'll just chop it off!"  No censored.gif thank you!

 

Best wishes,

Sus


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#46 of 52 Old 06-25-2013, 11:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all for your thoughts and opinions. I have been taking everything into consideration and have decided that keeping him in his bassinet is the best choice for both of us. I would like him to stay close for as long as possible, but do not feel moving his crib into my room is necessary. Especially since he still fits quite nicely in the bassinet. I spoke with my husband, and let him read some of these posts, and he is starting to understand where I am coming from. I love the idea of cosleeping for as long as possible, because I think it not only improves the bond I have with him, but (like a few of you mentioned) he's too young to manipulate me. He cries for a reason and he needs to know that mommy will be there for him no matter what. I enjoy having him there, too, just so I can wake up and see him sleeping. It's not just for his sake, it's also for my own sanity lol.
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#47 of 52 Old 06-25-2013, 11:35 AM - Thread Starter
 
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And in response to the gas... I have changed doctors and he agreed with what everyone here is saying. I didn't realize what an impact juice was having on my little guys tummy. He suggested I stop everything I'm doing and let him clear his system out. I'm happy to announce that he's finally going poo on a daily basis now :-) he still has some trouble getting it out, but he's doing much better. The doctor suggested using these gas drops (found at Walmart) that I can add right to his bottles, but since I've stopped using juice I don't think I'll need them!! It's amazing how advice from one person can really cause such big problems for such a tiny boy! I'm so glad I went on here for everyone's help. Otherwise I'd probably still have the same doctor and my poor little guy would probably be sucking down prune juice right now! Lol
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#48 of 52 Old 06-25-2013, 02:53 PM
 
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Wonderful update ValerieMarie! Enjoy your little sweetheart, glad he is feeling better too.
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#49 of 52 Old 07-01-2013, 10:02 PM
 
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I've never used a crib, I like sleeping with my babies, and it's so much easier to have them right next to you.
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#50 of 52 Old 07-02-2013, 08:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have had so many nightmares about sleeping with my baby. ..him falling off the bed ..breaking his neck. ..or me squishing him and not knowing till I wake up. But I have to admit, even with the nightmares, I know that I wake up to every single little tiny peep he makes, even if it's just him readjusting his blanket...so I've slept in bed a few times with him. It's really nice to be able to cuddle up with him like that. But I don't want to make it something he *needs* bc he should be able to fall asleep without me being there by his side.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sageowl View Post

I've never used a crib, I like sleeping with my babies, and it's so much easier to have them right next to you.

have you had any problems "breaking" your children from sleeping with you? How did you deal with that when it came time to put them in their own room? (I assume you don't still sleep with all your kids - unless your bed is huge! Lol)
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#51 of 52 Old 07-02-2013, 08:52 PM
 
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No, not really. Not any worse than the transition you have to do eventually from the crib to the bed around age 2. I think it's easier actually because they're older, and weren't traumatized by early separation, at a time when they couldn't understand it, if that makes any sense. Most of the people I know who have serious bedtime drama are the ones who did the whole cry it out thing.
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#52 of 52 Old 07-02-2013, 08:56 PM
 
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If you want details, you can PM me...
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