When do we use the crib??? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 52 Old 06-18-2013, 09:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My son has been sleeping through the night since he was a week old. However, since he was so small (4lbs 13oz when I took him home, not a preemie either, just really tiny), his doctors told me I MUST wake him up to eat every 3 hours bc he needs to gain a lot of weight fairly quickly. So, on our first day home, I put his bassinet directly next to my bed. It's not only convenient for feeding, but he's had painful gas for about 3 weeks now, and it wakes him up out of a dead sleep with a really bad tummy ache! So I pull him into bed with me to cuddle and help him get thru it as easily and quickly as possible. (He goes right back in the bassinet as soon as he passes gas and falls asleep).

Well, he finally got to a weight where I no longer need to wake him up to feed him during the night. It's wonderful, bc most nights he'll sleep from 10pm to 530am without waking up. Unless he has gas. In which case, cuddle-time with mommy! Lol

My question is this..... when do I stop using the bassinet for sleep and start using the crib in his room?? I've been practicing putting him in it during the day, and he seems perfectly fine. But he's never actually Slept in it..

My husband thinks I'm being too over-protective and says I'm just going to make it worse for the long run. Not only for the baby, but for me as well.

So... what do I do?? Do I "abandon" him in his crib and run to his room if he wakes up with a tummy ache (aka: no more cuddling)?? Do I ignore the tummy aches and let him handle it himself (aka cry it out - at 2 months old)?? Or do I stick with the bassinet til the tummy aches go away and move him to the crib later on (hoping he doesn't care that I'm not Right There for him if he needs me)??
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#2 of 52 Old 06-18-2013, 09:47 AM
 
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Well, my DS co-slept in bed with me. It was honestly the only way I would ever do it because I didn't want to be having to get up and go to his crib when he cried. There is absolutely nothing wrong with cuddling him and tending to his needs. He needs that so much right now. You are shaping his emotional well being and teaching him that he can trust that his needs will be met. Good mommy!!

My son had that gas thing too. I did "bicycle legs" with him to help push the gas out. I would also massage his tummy. Poor baby!!
I would keep him next to you for as long as you feel comfortable with it. In my case the crib got used as a play pen for my son and if I needed a place to throw laundry LOL.
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#3 of 52 Old 06-18-2013, 10:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you Dalia. I have been telling my hubby that he's too young to manipulate us. If he's crying, it's for a reason. And I don't feel like we should "cut him off" for needing attention right now. He's my little man, and I'm going to do whatever I can to make him feel as safe and loved as I possibly can. Even if I need to cuddle with him and help push his farts out at 3 am lol... and yes, I try to do my best massaging his tummy and doing the bicycle. I have also tried warm baths. I think my next step is going to be prune juice bc the apple juice isn't working for him at all.
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#4 of 52 Old 06-18-2013, 10:31 AM
 
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We've never used a crib with six kids. Well, when the oldest was born we tried it for about three days and mommy about went crazy.

 

Anyway, you could compromise by bringing the crib into your room. Even big medical organizations that are against bedsharing, advise baby sleeping in the same room at the parents to decrease the risk of SIDS, so you could point that out to him.

 

As for getting them out of the bed when they are older, most of ours went very easily with no returns once they were moved. Only a couple of the younger girls have had issues and they go to sleep fine, it is just waking up sometimes and wanting to come to our bed.


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#5 of 52 Old 06-18-2013, 10:57 AM
 
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Thank you Dalia. I have been telling my hubby that he's too young to manipulate us. If he's crying, it's for a reason. And I don't feel like we should "cut him off" for needing attention right now. He's my little man, and I'm going to do whatever I can to make him feel as safe and loved as I possibly can. Even if I need to cuddle with him and help push his farts out at 3 am lol... and yes, I try to do my best massaging his tummy and doing the bicycle. I have also tried warm baths. I think my next step is going to be prune juice bc the apple juice isn't working for him at all.

Wait, are you giving a two month old apple juice or am I misunderstanding?

In any case, SIDS prevention guidelines state that babies should be in the parent's room until at least 6 months old so really there is no good reason to move him. I personally co-sleep, but if you don't feel comfortable with that, then room-sharing is good too smile.gif

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#6 of 52 Old 06-18-2013, 10:57 AM
 
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Thank you Dalia. I have been telling my hubby that he's too young to manipulate us. If he's crying, it's for a reason. And I don't feel like we should "cut him off" for needing attention right now. He's my little man, and I'm going to do whatever I can to make him feel as safe and loved as I possibly can. Even if I need to cuddle with him and help push his farts out at 3 am lol... and yes, I try to do my best massaging his tummy and doing the bicycle. I have also tried warm baths. I think my next step is going to be prune juice bc the apple juice isn't working for him at all.

Wait, are you giving a two month old apple juice or am I misunderstanding?

In any case, SIDS prevention guidelines state that babies should be in the parent's room until at least 6 months old so really there is no good reason to move him. I personally co-sleep, but if you don't feel comfortable with that, then room-sharing is good too smile.gif

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#7 of 52 Old 06-18-2013, 11:04 AM
 
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You are very welcome! It sounds like you really care for him and are doing your best to do right by your little man. :-)

I wouldn't do apple juice at two months. That could be making the problem worse as his digestive tract just isn't ready for it. For now, I would stick with breast milk or formula. I seem to remember giving my little one a teaspoon I watered down camomile tea when things got really bad. Also, there are homeopathic and herbal remedies for colic that can be bought at the health food store or online.

Good luck!!! :-D
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#8 of 52 Old 06-18-2013, 11:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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You know, I never even thought about SIDS when I brought him into the room with us. I know I can be a little crazy about the baby sometimes, but there's always a good reason for everything I do...even if I haven't figured out what that reason is yet lol. It must have been in my subconscious somewhere creeping around. Thank you both for bringing that up!!
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#9 of 52 Old 06-18-2013, 11:27 AM
 
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You know, I never even thought about SIDS when I brought him into the room with us. I know I can be a little crazy about the baby sometimes, but there's always a good reason for everything I do...even if I haven't figured out what that reason is yet lol. It must have been in my subconscious somewhere creeping around. Thank you both for bringing that up!!

Yes!!! Mothers have that instinct and should trust it. No one knows better than mama. <3
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#10 of 52 Old 06-18-2013, 11:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Wait, are you giving a two month old apple juice or am I misunderstanding?

In any case, SIDS prevention guidelines state that babies should be in the parent's room until at least 6 months old so really there is no good reason to move him. I personally co-sleep, but if you don't feel comfortable with that, then room-sharing is good too smile.gif

Yes, my doctor suggested it before trying prune juice. I asked why and she said bc you can give him up to 6 oz of apple juice a day and if it works, it works. You can't overload him on apple juice. But too much prune juice could be messy. And gross. And if you can avoid messy, try it. It can't hurt. HOWEVER, I think it made him worse! I'm never seeing that doctor again. She also told me no pacifier, and to start tummy time at 2 weeks old. I thought my mother in law was gonna smack her when she said that last one. Now I'm learning this lady is just an idiot all across the board. Wtf :-(
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#11 of 52 Old 06-18-2013, 11:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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You are very welcome! It sounds like you really care for him and are doing your best to do right by your little man. :-)

I wouldn't do apple juice at two months. That could be making the problem worse as his digestive tract just isn't ready for it. For now, I would stick with breast milk or formula. I seem to remember giving my little one a teaspoon I watered down camomile tea when things got really bad. Also, there are homeopathic and herbal remedies for colic that can be bought at the health food store or online.

Good luck!!! :-D

Thanx! I'm going to find a new doctor, and buy some tea this week! Lol
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#12 of 52 Old 06-18-2013, 11:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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We've never used a crib with six kids. Well, when the oldest was born we tried it for about three days and mommy about went crazy.

Anyway, you could compromise by bringing the crib into your room. Even big medical organizations that are against bedsharing, advise baby sleeping in the same room at the parents to decrease the risk of SIDS, so you could point that out to him.

As for getting them out of the bed when they are older, most of ours went very easily with no returns once they were moved. Only a couple of the younger girls have had issues and they go to sleep fine, it is just waking up sometimes and wanting to come to our bed.
[/q


6 kids and no crib for any of them? That's amazing! How did you do that?? Didn't they run around on you? My nephew is always climbing out of his crib just so his dad will chase him around their apartment lol... it's not funny bc I'd be so mad if mine escaped every single night and I had to chase him. But it's actually quite hysterical to watch from afar
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#13 of 52 Old 06-18-2013, 11:43 AM
 
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"6 kids and no crib for any of them? That's amazing! How did you do that?? Didn't they run around on you? My nephew is always climbing out of his crib just so his dad will chase him around their apartment lol... it's not funny bc I'd be so mad if mine escaped every single night and I had to chase him. But it's actually quite hysterical to watch from afar"

Girl you better get ready LOL!!! They ALL climb!!!! When my DH was a baby he climbed out of his crib, out the bedroom window and onto the roof of the second story!!!! This is why we have baby monitors now!! LOL

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#14 of 52 Old 06-18-2013, 11:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh my goodness that's crazy!! I am so glad my house is only one floor! Hahaha! I am SO not looking forward to crib escapes yet.
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#15 of 52 Old 06-18-2013, 12:21 PM
 
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Yep, they climb. They've climbed over safety gates and out of playpens. The youngest one had one of those activity center seats and by 10 months she had figured out how to get out of it. 

 

Our house is small so they can't run far. It can kinda be exhausting sometimes but such is the life of a parent. A good carrier like an Ergo can help for those times you really need them contained.


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#16 of 52 Old 06-18-2013, 12:41 PM
 
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Yes, my doctor suggested it before trying prune juice. I asked why and she said bc you can give him up to 6 oz of apple juice a day and if it works, it works. You can't overload him on apple juice. But too much prune juice could be messy. And gross. And if you can avoid messy, try it. It can't hurt. HOWEVER, I think it made him worse! I'm never seeing that doctor again. She also told me no pacifier, and to start tummy time at 2 weeks old. I thought my mother in law was gonna smack her when she said that last one. Now I'm learning this lady is just an idiot all across the board. Wtf :-(

I am *shocked* that a doctor would recommend giving a two-month old apple juice for any reason. And seriously, up to 6 oz??? That is a LOT of apple juice when compared to how much breasmilk a baby that age would consume and it would replace the nutrition the baby would get from the breastmilk. Babies under 6 months should have nothing but breastmilk or formula since it disrupts the gut, decreases the needed nutrition from breasmilk and can cause far more problems than it might solve.

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#17 of 52 Old 06-20-2013, 12:16 PM
 
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Hi,

My son also had gas when he was a couple of months old. At the time they gave them Mylacon.  It didn't work so he told me to give him fruit!  I did starting with pears and it worked beautifully, no more gas.  I was also breast feeding so I had a restricted diet. You know no broccoli, I wasn't a big dairy person, and other gassy foods.  Hope this helps:) 

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#18 of 52 Old 06-20-2013, 12:18 PM
 
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Your baby should stay in your room until YOU are ready to move him. Period. You need give no reason to anyone. I agree no more juice! And I also 2nd giving a small amount of either chamomile or catnip tea-I was told I could use up to an ounce per night.

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#19 of 52 Old 06-20-2013, 01:08 PM
 
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Adding chamomile tea to the bath water can also help with gas.

And you can't spoil a baby. If anything, moving him out of your room at this point would be harder on both of you. You'd have to get up and go to him in the night, meaning you're both more awake from the extra time and movement. Babies and moms are designed to desire constant (or near constant) closeness. It's normal and healthy. Babies don't have the mental capacity for manipulation. Even older babies and toddlers who fuss or cry to "get their way" aren't doing it to be malicious, but because they don't understand why you won't let them play with the shiny kitchen knife that looks so fun.
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#20 of 52 Old 06-20-2013, 04:27 PM
 
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Babies that young have trouble digesting things that aren't breastmilk, so that can't be helping the gas.

 

When does he leave the bassinet? When he is too large to fit in it!

 

My son sleeps in a crib beside our bed, and then when he wakes up, I take him into bed with me to snuggle. He's 18 months.

 

Where's the harm?

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#21 of 52 Old 06-20-2013, 04:51 PM
 
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My son slept in a pack n play next to my bed or in my bed for the first year of his life. Moving him into his own room at a year was no biggie and I think we all slept better after that. He's 2.5 and just got his toddler bed! Tell daddy your baby needs you and will be better off close.
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#22 of 52 Old 06-21-2013, 12:36 PM
 
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Hi! I Have 3 girls. My baby is now 3 months old and I just put her in her crib. She didn't like it at first so, my husband and I bought a really cute crib mobile and she loves it , it plays music for 40 minutes and we put a monitor/camera - these new monitors are all visual now, so, we can hear her and see her. We put her in her crib as much as possible everytime she falls asleep and now she learned how to soothe herself and put herself to sleep. Your baby's colic/ gas should resolve close to 3 months. I did chamomile tea with my baby but not too much- gave her diarrhea :/ I used the bassinet until she reached wt limit 15 lbs that was at 2 1/2 months. I recommend you use bassinet until baby reaches wt limit and then start using crib. Try the crib mobile ( they have great ones at "buy buy baby" and you will love those new monitors , you can hear and see everything , even night vision ;D
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#23 of 52 Old 06-21-2013, 12:41 PM
 
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. This is a pic of crib mobile
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#24 of 52 Old 06-21-2013, 08:53 PM
 
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Hi, Having recently attended a seminar on brain development, I thought I ought to reply to your question.  Personally, we co-slept with our two girls from the time they were born and loved it.  As I breastfed both of them, having them in bed with us meant that I didn't have to get up and could easily get back to sleep myself.  Our youngest had terrible gas and projectile vomiting for the first 9 months of life and screamed every night for about 4 hours straight mecry.gif.  This was not an easy time for us, and I eliminated a lot from my diet, but we got through it by taking it in turns to rock and soothe her.  Our girls moved into their own room at the ages of 6 and 8, respectively, though they still have very fond memories of snuggling together and both intend to have a family bed when they have their own children.  No matter what you choose to do, co-sleeping, keeping the baby in the bassinet or in a crib, I highly recommend that you have the baby in the same room as you and that when he wakes, you attend to his needs.  This is not only best for SIDS prevention, but also for brain development.  The whole idea of putting babies on a schedule and letting them cry it out was developed during the Industrial Revolution as mothers began working outside the home.  However, it was not done in the best interest of the baby. 

Thanks to MRI scanning, we can now see the effects of different forms of parenting and how they impact on brain development.  What researchers have been learning is that the bottom of the brain, the brain stem (the survival part of the brain) develops first and plays centre stage for the first 6 months of a baby's life.  Babies that are left to cry it out and young ones up to the age of 3 years whose needs are not being met will have an aroused brain stem and it will grow larger than necessary, as the message it gets is that it can't rely on others and must fend for itself.  This then has an affect on other parts of the brain, especially the cortex, the learning/thinking part of the brain that plays centre stage from the age of 3 to 25 years.  If parents have their babies self-soothe at sleep time, but then meet all of the other needs of their little ones, the effects of the slightly enlarged brain stem will not really be noticed.  However, those babies and young ones who are severely abused or neglected in the early stages of their lives develop quite a large brain stem in relation to other parts of the brain and are actually incapable of developing much of the front cortex.  This is due to an excessive level of the stress hormone, cortisol, having been released, which damages the cortex and affects the ability of the brain to set up neural pathways.  Excessive cortisol and an enlarged brain stem not only affect learning/thinking, but also to the ability to reason, control emotions and empathize.  It can also lead to alcohol and drug abuse, as well as violence later in life. 

On the other hand, babies and young ones under the age of 3 years who are not left to self-soothe, and who have all of their needs met by loving parents/caregivers, develop a smaller brain stem, are calmer, have higher levels of endorphins (the positive, learning hormones) and are therefore able to better develop the other parts of their brains - the cerebellum (the movement brain), the limbic system (the emotional brain) and finally the cortex.  What those studying the brain have been learning is that the environment one experiences during the first 3 years of life is crucial to brain development and hence everything else in one's life, and that one cannot spoil a child under the age of 3 years. 

I'm very pleased to read that you will be changing doctors!  I've never heard of giving a baby juice of any kind for gas.  What the other mothers have said is true, babies should only have breastmilk or formula, to get the essential nutrients they need to stay healthy and grow.  As an aside, you'll be pleased to learn that if you are breastfeeding already, breastmilk is the best thing for producing myelin, also known as white matter, the insulator on neural pathways.  Once a pathway in the brain is fully myelinated, one can never forget how to do something.  Also, when myelin and endorphins are combined, the myelin is laid thicker and faster on the pathways, so learning takes place faster and more efficiently. 

I know I've given you a long reply with lots of extra added, but I hope it helps with your decision.  I figure that the more informed we are, the better decisions we can make.  All the best shy.gif

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#25 of 52 Old 06-22-2013, 04:36 PM
 
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Just another vote to say that a two month old is a TINY, tiny person who is not capable of working through things like tummy aches by themselves.  They might fall asleep from pure exhaustion, but that doesn't sound like a very pleasant time to me.  Is there any way to fit the crib into your bedroom, maybe?  I've always had my kids in our bedroom until they were about a year, and then they moved to their own rooms because they were such light sleepers that they slept better in the quiet of their own space.  But I think two months is very, very tiny to move into a separate room.  I'm not judging those who make that work for them, I'm sure some baby-parent dyads/triads need that configuration, but all things considered, I wouldn't be a fan of that arrangement at all.

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#26 of 52 Old 06-23-2013, 05:09 AM
 
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Gas/vomitting/GI issues are a symptom of a larger problem.  PErhaps due to western medicine's tendency to see things in isolation, we no longer realize this.  ONly one post above discussed food eliminations during breastfeeding.   I'd have absolutely no idea what to suggest in a FF'ing infant in terms of eliminations. An intolerance of a food or foods in a bf'ing mother or an ingredient or ingredients in artificial milk is one cause of GI issues (as well as other things like eczema, cradle cap, other skin issues, behavioral issues, sleep issues, etc.); tongue tie is another. 

 

Only in western society is where baby sleeps even a question.  In most of the rest of the world, they do not have the luxury of multiple rooms for people to sleep separately.  

 

My situation was very similar when I was a new mom.  My instincts & my body were saying to keep my baby close but everything/everyone else was telling me that I shouldn't be (except the moms at LLL meetings - I credit them for keeping me sane during it all & had we not gone to an LLL conference when dd was 15 months old, I'd either be divorced or the mom of one - I'm still married & have three children).  Western society is hell bent on separating moms & babies.  The whole society is set up that way & when you do it differently, you or your child are called names ("mama's boy!).  Well, look at how sick, mentally & physically, we are.  Is separation really in the best interest of any of us?  I think not.

 

Navigating the world of new motherhood isn't easy.  While I would love to do it over to not make the same mistakes, I also wouldn't want to go through it all again.  If the OP hasn't been to an LLL meeting yet, it can be a place to find like-minded mamas in real life.  It can be very helpful to be among their company.

 

Best wishes,

Sus

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#27 of 52 Old 06-23-2013, 09:45 AM
 
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You should definately cuddle with him as much as possible while he's little. Someday he'll grow up and find a new girl to cuddle with. :)
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#28 of 52 Old 06-23-2013, 04:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by KSLaura View Post

You should definately cuddle with him as much as possible while he's little. Someday he'll grow up and find a new girl to cuddle with. :)

 

Or boy. 

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#29 of 52 Old 06-23-2013, 06:45 PM
 
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We cosleep with our twins. But sometimes it's nice to have private time in bed. I think some Dads are nervous that cosleeping will put an end to intimacy. If we need that time together and the babes are already asleep, we lay them down in their crib with the baby monitor on. Then when they wake up I can hear them before they start to cry and bring them to bed with us. Just an idea. But baby's needs do come first. Snuggle that LO every chance you have. <3

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#30 of 52 Old 06-23-2013, 07:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Homeschool Mum View Post

Thanks to MRI scanning, we can now see the effects of different forms of parenting and how they impact on brain development. 

 

Wow, this sounds like a fascinating study - where can I see the link?

 

My father was lecturing me yesterday about the fact that I'm *still* (safely, I add) co-sleeping with my daughter (she's not even 2 months old yet). He said, "You not supposed to do that" ... I would love to show him some scientific studies about why I am raising his granddaughter like I am. A shame we need studies in our modern society that say it's okay for a mother to cuddle her tiny baby at night eyesroll.gif ... but glad these reports are coming out about  the benefits of instinctual parenting.

 

For the OP, maybe sharing with her husband that six-month roomsharing stat/recommendation about avoiding SIDS would be a good way to broach the subject. It is nice to have intuition and science aligned.

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