I lied and feel awful - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 10 Old 06-26-2013, 02:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi all,

This is a very strange post. I'm not really looking for advice, but just a space to offload.

A dear dear friend invited me to her hen party yesterday and it's location couldn't be better for me ... my hometown. But I lied and said I have a wedding that weekend in another part of the country. I lied because my toddler was and still is a very high needs child in terms of sleep and still needs to be nursed to sleep and wakes constantly throughout the night to suck back to sleep. His waking is so frequent that I go to bed with him at 8pm and stay there until morning. Any alternative seems Impossible still, even more so now that he's teething so often and waking much more. However, I feel terrible that I cannot share such an important day with my dear friend. I'm going to see her the following morning but it won't be the same for her. I had to make the lie about the wedding very convincing and I just feel so uncomfortable and guilty. I couldn't tell her the truth as she wouldn't understand (trust me!). She has a very different child who sleeps well for babysitters and others. She's also not comfortable with breastfeeding beyond infancy and doesn't understand why I haven't attempted to wean. To protect her feelings, I felt I had to lie. It feels very crappy though. :-(

Even writing that has helped a little,

Sorry to offload!
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#2 of 10 Old 06-26-2013, 04:35 PM
 
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I see lying in order to hurt someone as very different from lying to avoid an argument or being put on the spot with intrusive questions. Try to give yourself a break. Hugs!
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#3 of 10 Old 06-26-2013, 04:44 PM
 
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When you are honest about reasons like that other moms can take it as a judgement on their ownparenting. So you may have taken the more thoughtful route.
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#4 of 10 Old 06-26-2013, 04:52 PM
 
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Hugs!!!

Wife to one amazing husband superhero.gif, SAHM to DS bouncy.gif 10/09, DS babyboy.gif 10/19,  one furbaby dog2.gif, and lots of chicken3.gif!

 
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#5 of 10 Old 06-26-2013, 05:11 PM
 
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She doesn't sound like a very understanding person; of course you had to tell the little white lie.

 

I rarely go out at night because I have a nursing toddler. I don't think he's even particularly high needs, but he does nurse to sleep and nurse a few times in the night. I need to be there.

 

I have parties at my house with my buds while the baby sleeps upstairs. I guess you friend wouldn't want to get smashed in your living room? Thought not.

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#6 of 10 Old 06-27-2013, 04:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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:-) thank you ladies for taking the time to respond and ease my guilt a little. It's nice to have some where to virually come and feel that our parenting style is accepted and understood,...albeit very inconvenient socially ;-)
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#7 of 10 Old 06-27-2013, 11:14 AM
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I totally get it. Hugs, mama. I think for some odd reason guilt comes with mothering. At least, I have noticed this in myself since become a mom. Be gentle with yourself, you're doing a good job. What a lucky kid you have, with such an attentive mama.

Mama to one amazing ecbaby2.gif
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#8 of 10 Old 06-27-2013, 12:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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:-) thanks
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#9 of 10 Old 07-04-2013, 08:22 PM
 
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Don't feel bad...Your child comes first no matter what...My L is going to be 6 in September and has yet to spend a night away from me or sleep without me...And I don't see it happening anytime soon...Go with your mom instinct....

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#10 of 10 Old 07-05-2013, 05:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for responding :-)
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