DHs moderate sleep apnea - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-18-2013, 01:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My DH was diagnosed with moderate sleep apnea. He was prescribed a mask to wear at night. When he wears it, he's like a different person at night and very easy to sleep next to. I even enjoy the ambient noise the thing makes. Much better then snoring so loud it shakes windows. lol.gif

But he usually doesn't wear it and never does consistently. I've begged and pleaded that he make an effort to wear it. I even ask if he feels more rested to try and convince him it really helps. He doesn't care or maybe doesn't notice either way. I think he looks at it like a problem that I have, not him. It's put a big strain on our relationship for many years (we've been together a long time).

We co-sleep with a 3yo who is sleeping great through the night and I'm really considering moving her out of our room. Thing is-- I like sleeping with her! I'd rather not sleep alone with DH right now. Sad but true. If he doesn't wear the mask he just snores and wakes me up, kicks, shakes and many other annoying behaviors. I'm almost 30wks along with our second child and am at the end of my rope.

I'm debating asking him to sleep in another room for the duration of my pregnancy. I know once this new babe is born, he won't want to sleep in the same room with us I'm sure. Though I hope he will help me with nighttime parenting, he really doesn't and can't mostly because he passes out asleep before everyone else. I'm not happy about it. But there are worse things. He's a very dedicated father and husband.

We have a twin next to our queen and a twin in the 2nd bedroom that doubles as an office for me. I've also considered sleeping in the 2nd bedroom with DD but there is no AC and its in the 90s. I figure DH can deal with it. I'm pregnant and he chooses not to treat his apnea.

Thoughts?

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Old 07-26-2013, 07:51 PM
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I think it would be fine to sleep separately, if you can handle the nighttime parenting alone. That was our solution and it worked fine for us. thumb.gif


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Old 07-26-2013, 09:50 PM
 
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My DH snores horribly and has restless legs...it was okay til we had kids and I became a really light sleeper. We now have three kids and have had all different types of sleeping setups, but we really haven't gone back to sleeping together. I got really great sleep skeeping with my toddlers while pregnant, and he did help me with nighttime parenting at times when the babies wouldn't nurse to sleep and needed to be walked. But for the most part i have handled nighttime parenting alone and it's been fine. Now that my youngest is 22 mos I am preparing to move him to his own bed and thinking about sleeping with dh again. And thinking I probably won't be able to sleep well. After years of babies waking me up I just want some uninterrupted sleep! He has been really great and flexible about it as he agrees that it has been what worked best for all of us. I have felt guilty too about kicking him out of the master bedroom, he has been a great sport. smile.gif
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Old 09-06-2013, 11:16 AM
 
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Maybe its the CPAP mask he's using?

 

I totally feel you on this though! The first time I slept next to the DH I nearly thwacked him with a pillow! Normally I love falling asleep next to my partner so imagine my surprise when I learned he sounded like a yeti. I literally stared at the ceiling until 4 AM and thought "how am I going to handle this?!" He'd hit my face in his sleep as well..he was an arm flailer. 

 

He got his supplies through Apria, and I know the newer CPAP machines arent as cumbersome and they have smaller ones now. What provider do you have? Maybe theyll switch it to something more comfortable? 


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Old 09-14-2013, 01:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the replies here! Well just a few weeks later my water broke (35wks) and I delivered a perfect but small newborn daughter. Yay!

Now I'm so exhausted I could sleep on a rock so that's different. I also am not handling all the nighttime parenting because DH is doing his best to be on 3yo duty as we call it. DD1 has had some issues with daddy though and I've just figured out how to get her to sleep while DH holds our baby-- she's only about 3 weeks old and I know this wont work if things get crazy with growth spurts etc. but it's working for now. I also told him to not get up with me or DD1 because then I'd have a tired daddy and mommy to deal with, so I would rather just handle the nighttime parenting on my own and if it gets too intense, wake him. He recently lost his job which is terrible for us financially but a blessing for our family. We really wanted to have time together as this is our last child.

He's still not wearing the mask! It gave him a bloody nose the night my water broke! It also was making him swallow air so he woke up feeling really gross from that. I just told him not to worry for now and to look into surgery. Any thoughts on this or btdt?

I know the mask he has is very small and compact so I think it's a decent brand.

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Expecting stork-girl.gif #2 in September!

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