Need some encouragement, and maybe some advice - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 08-06-2013, 09:28 AM - Thread Starter
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I am so so exhausted. My 3.5 mo old has for the past week been awake most of the night. My sweet newborn babe who used to be " a good sleeper" as his grandma said, and slept all night with me from an early age is now in the 4 month old regression stage.
I don't remember it being this hard with my first child. I don't remember being this exhausted. Maybe its because I can't nap with him during the day because I have another child to take care of.
He won't go back to sleep when I nurse him.
He won't go back to sleep when I lay him on me. He cries nonstop. I feel so frustrated with him sometimes I want to just walk out of the room and let him cry-- but I know I don't want to do that. Why do I get so angry at a 3 month old?
I always try to keep in mind in most things in parenting, it is only a phase and it will pass. But it's hard to see when you're in the thick of it. I knew the bliss of newborn sleep would pass. But I guess I feel like I'm not ready yet. It might be laziness, or maybe not. But I don't feel able to work through this phase in a loving self sacrificial way. It's only been a week but I feel like I'm at my patience' end.
I don't know exactly what I'm looking for here. I just know that this has always been a place I can come and find non judgmental support for what I am going through, a place when I won't be told its my fault because I sleep in the same bed with children or because I nurse them whenever they want. I like those things about myself and my parenting, but in times like these its all to easy to listen to the voice that the majority of our culture.
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#2 of 5 Old 08-06-2013, 09:42 AM
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Do you think he could be starting to have a bit of teething pain or something? Or could he be physically uncomfortable for some other reason? It sounds like it hasn't been going on for very long, which makes me think ear ache/mouth ache/etc.
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#3 of 5 Old 08-06-2013, 10:23 AM
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Have you tried chiropractic care? It helped with my baby's nursing. Has something in your diet changed?

Hang in there. This too will pass.

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#4 of 5 Old 08-06-2013, 10:53 AM - Thread Starter
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It could very possibly be teething. I have thought about that. He just seems to be a happy little guy all day long.
I haven't tried chiro care. I wish I could afford that. I would love it for everyone in the family but its just not in the budget right now.
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#5 of 5 Old 08-06-2013, 11:27 AM
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Are you familiar with the Wonder Weeks?  There's one at 12 and around 17 weeks (second link has a nice chart), along with a pretty well-documented sleep regression at 4 months.  Both of my littles followed these pretty exactly (although it was more obvious with my second, who was more laid back than my first, high-needs babe).  Knowing that there was something definite going on helped me to be more patient during these times (they are not trying to break me!), and helped me to "let go" of obsessing about a "diagnosis" for what was ailing them (not that I didn't consider other things, but if I had met all of their comfort needs and hadn't radically changed anything in my diet, I assumed that it was something developmental).


Although it's so hard to think beyond your immediate exhaustion and your scream-y, crabby infant, it will pass.  When mine were in the thick of developmental leap-misery I took a "whatever gets you through the night (or day!)" approach.  When my second was an infant my older daughter watched more TV than I would have liked, and I would wear them as much as possible (for naps...everything if it stopped the crying).  Going outside was helpful for both of them (we're in the PNW and its not typically super hot here in the summer).  There were also a lot of baths (sometimes 3-5 a day!) because it seemed to settle them and distract them from themselves.


Hopefully night time will get easier soon.  Patience, and you're doing a great job.

Mama to F (3/09) and S (3/11); and never forgetting my babe gone too soon angel1.gif(4/10).

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