For those who have done both/all-- what's nighttime like with a small baby in another room? - Mothering Forums

Thread Tools
#1 of 4 Old 08-10-2013, 06:00 PM - Thread Starter
buko's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,113
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm talking about an infant <6 months, presumably one who does not STTN. We cosleep/bed share and I can't seem to explain this to people who don't sleep in the same bed with their babies or (usually) even in the same room. Now, I would do what I do even if it were harder than the alternative, but for me, I don't think it is? Not sure how to have a discussion about this when I may not fully understand what the alternative looks like, if that makes sense...

If your baby sleeps (or one of your babies slept) in another room... Do/did you hear the baby cry over a baby monitor, then get out of bed and go to their room and get them, then nurse/bottle feed them in a chair or...? I know I sound like an idiot, but I'm just not sure how it works, I guess-- any insight would be appreciated!

WAHer & Wannabe, Wife to DH banana.gif1998, Mama to Buko, Born at Home joy.gifMarch 2013

buko is offline  
Sponsored Links
#2 of 4 Old 08-11-2013, 05:48 PM
wishin'&hopin''s Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: liminality
Posts: 830
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Our baby has been sleeping in his own room since 3 weeks--both of our kids have been initially welcomed into our bed but neither has slept well in close proximity to parents and this time around we didn't push through like we did with his older brother (who was in our room for much longer, but slept horrifically until 14 months and night weaning--regardless of location).  This baby sleeps much better in general than his brother EVER did, but went from waking every couple of hours in our room to sleeping a 6-8 hour initial night stretch in his own room (not trying to promote separate sleep spaces, just stating what's happened in our house).  Now, his room adjoins ours and our heads are literally 4 feet from his head (just a wall between) and DW hears him before he even starts crying the couple of times a night he wants to nurse.  She nurses him in a rocking chair in his room.  


For us, having kiddos in our room/bed has never worked well for any of us (including the babies).  I was the nursing parent with our older son, and he was in our bed for quite awhile--and woke every time either of us moved and nursed at every waking.  Neither of us (parents) particularly likes side lying nursing and neither of us has found getting up to nurse in another room to be particularly problematic.


We are big believers in doing whatever gets everyone the most sleep (we don't and haven't done CIO with either kiddo, night weaning for our older son involved a loving response from the non-nursing parent...) 

  Two moms and two boys enjoying the truth that love always wins!!!  joy.gifjoy.gifpartners.gif

wishin'&hopin' is offline  
#3 of 4 Old 08-11-2013, 06:07 PM
Alenushka's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: CA
Posts: 1,871
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 25 Post(s)

By the time my sons was 8 months old they no longer nursed at night. Also, their baby noises were waking me up, I would turn in bed and  wake them up. They were each moved to their own room at that age. I used a baby monitor. I did not set it very loud. This way I would not hear like the litle noises, but I would hear if they cried out. I would go in, deal with whatever it was and they would go back to sleep.


I noticed my sons slept better in their own room after 8 months. So did we. To me, night of good sleep contributed to family harmony and ability to do things together during the day, work ,keep the house clean etc.

Alenushka is offline  
#4 of 4 Old 08-12-2013, 06:31 AM
Red Pajama's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: climbing a mountain of laundry
Posts: 1,346
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

My twins were moved to their own room when they started moving more at night, which was (I think, many years have passed) 3 months. They would nurse to sleep at the start of the night. One baby would wake up at some point, we'd get both up to nurse. They'd be put back in their own bed, until the next go 'round, hopefully in the morning. After a while of this, I started only getting the baby that was actually awake, and nurse in my bed side-lying.  Upon hearing the next baby, I transferred the first one to my husband's chest, and I'd get the second one. Most mornings we awoke with two babies in our bed.



With little sister, she slept in a pack and play in our room for a long time, but also had a crib set up in the other room. Usually, once she moved out of our room the first time (not sure when-- probably 4-5 months), she'd start the night in her bed in the other room. Upon waking, she was brought to my bed to nurse side-lying. if I could sleep next to her I would, if not, I'd move her to the pack and play (in my room) or her crib in another room. 


Once I realized that bed sharing didn't have to be all night every night, it makes what we do less weighty.  Even though my babies all had their own sleep space, and used it, I still consider myself a co-sleeping, bedsharing parent.  Our cosleeping just started at the first waking.  Doing it this way also affords a few benefits:  The transition to a child sleeping more of the night in his own bed begins by returning the child to his own space, rather than bringing into mine all the time. It also allows for a time of adults-only time in my room, which helps us in terms of intimacy. It also allows me to have my moments when I say to an older child "no, I need to sleep soundly. you can't come in yet."  Or, as we've trained our older kids, don't try to open a locked door.  A shut door means return to your bed. An open door means you can come in and snuggle.

Twin boys (2/05) and little sister (10/07)
Red Pajama is offline  

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Online Users: 13,044

29 members and 13,015 guests
Ana Anka , andrajackson , AnnPerkins , aurelinamontes , Beemo3780 , BirthFree , ClothBaby5 , Deborah , Dovenoir , girlspn , hillymum , jamesmorrow , Katherine73 , Lolita2345 , manyhatsmom , moominmamma , Motherof3already , MountainMamaGC , redsally , RollerCoasterMama , samaxtics , Sonja416 , Springshowers , sren , Tara 1st Timer , Xerxella
Most users ever online was 449,755, 06-25-2014 at 12:21 PM.