my 3 yo daughter has come to our bed for the second half of the night since she turned 2. she's always been a wild, thrashing around in bed, really tough to bedshare with kind of gal.
but the last couple of weeks have pushed me beyond my limit. she comes into our bed anywhere from 4 to 6 am, and thrashes around awake for over an hour before either falling back to sleep or just getting up for the day (we get up at 6:30). even if she eventually falls back asleep (which has been rare lately), then i get insomnia and can't fall back asleep.
she's not sick and doesn't have anything ailing her, no major changes recently, etc.
i've started to just get up and go sleep in her room/bed once she's done her first few thrashes in our bed (since then i know she's not going to go peacefully back to sleep for a long time if ever).
however, i'm resentful of this solution because:
1) i am fully awake by that point
2) i rarely fall back asleep in her bed - insomnia kicks in
3) i feel i should get to rest/sleep peacefully in my bed all night if i want to
my best guess is that she maybe just needs her own space to relax/sleep at this point. especially since hubby reports that once i leave the room, she falls asleep pretty fast. she's agreed to try a palette on our bedrooom floor tonight. we'd tried a palette several months ago, and it worked for a while, but then it stopped working for a few reasons. i'm also strongly considering coming up with a consequence - "If you wake me up when you come in our room, you will lose xyz privilege the next day."
i wish she could just be a sweet, snuggly cosleeper that i often read about. but she never has been, so i realize it's not going to happen at this point. thanks for reading my grumpy/sleepy vent, and i'd welcome any feedback.
Some children just never co-sleep as well as others. I like the idea of giving her a place of her own to bed down in your room, so she can come in and be close to you, without disturbing your sleep. That is exactly what I was going to suggest. Good luck!
Mumsy to Gavin (10-year-old artsy boy) and Rowan (baby disco queen!)
OMG - I have this same problem. The part that annoys me the most is that 3 yo DS falls asleep peacefully once I get up... so essentially I'm woken up anywhere from 2:30- 4:30 in the morning until I actually get out of bed. Wits end... I don't know what to do. I can't keep him out of my bed, as I don't even realize when he comes in. Also, when I'm sleeping it's like I'm completely immobilized and can't move to deal with it. Sometimes he has the nerve to tell me to go away. Grrrrrr......
glad we can relate to each other, nmelanson! yes - that annoys me the most too!!
i'm happy to say (and knocking on lots of wood) that our issue seems resolved for the moment. DD amazed me by taking like magic to the palette on the floor idea. every night since i last posted, she comes in our bedroom quiet as a mouse and goes quickly back to sleep on the palette (mat and blankets) at the foot of our bed. she even remembers to bring her pillow from her bed!
whether or not it lasts, we've gotten much better rest these past few nights.
not sure if the palette approach would work for you, but there's one idea!