20 Month Co-sleeper nursing through the night, waking frequently... mama over it! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 09-19-2013, 09:52 AM - Thread Starter
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Hi all!  I tried to find some posts like my situation and did find a few, but wasn't satisfied with the amount of answers I found... So I hope it is ok to post this.  Anyhow, here I sit glaring at my darling 20 month old daughter feeling awful and grouchy and defeated!  Maybe this is a sleep regression thing?  Maybe it's my "fault"?  Maybe DH is a culprit?  I don't know but here goes-


We've coslept since day 1, DD is a BIG snuggler and is usually in the crook of my arm (yep, even now for about 50% of the night).  She is and always has been a boob addict.  DD naps 1-2 hours around 1pm and goes to bed at 9pm, waking 8-9am.  We have bedtime rituals of course (not always perfectly on time, but we try), and I nurse her to sleep.  Once she is asleep I put her down in our shared bed (sometimes takes a while) and she's fine for usually an hour or two.  She cries ( dream, teething, or woke herself up) and I go in and nurse her back down (although now FINALLY my DH is starting to help resettle her!) .  This has been the way it is for a year or more.  She is now waking every 30min to every hour!  She demands "nanas" (boob) each time.  And then around 11 or 12pm when I join her in bed she has been nursing like crazy for the majority of the night.  I can't sleep through it and she wants to switch sides frequently.  My DH sleeps like a rock and sadly doesn't realize what is going on.  I have had a really rough time getting enough sleep since she was born which is at odds with my desire to give DD what she seems to need (cosleeping and nighttime nursing).   


My DH is trying to step up and help, he can now actually sometimes get her to fall back asleep and put her back down!  However when he can't she is so worked up it takes me 5x as long as it might of initially.  I'm exhausted.  And now with tons of friends and family announcing new pregnancies, DH is trying to convince me it's time to make #2!  How can I have another and be this tired??


I will NEVER CIO, DD crying just a little sends me to mom hell.  I want to nurse as long as we can, but am open to night weaning.  Although since DH is very hard to wake in the night I don' t know how that'd work.  She has a little bed in the garage for when she is ready, but she is super clingy and I'd be shocked if that worked.  I'm at a loss and could use some perspective...


Thank you so much!

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#2 of 3 Old 09-20-2013, 09:41 AM
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That sounds hard, mama!
My little one is almost two, and cosleeps. We started towards night-weaning at about 18 months. We started with a couple of hours where I'd refuse the boob, and have DP comfort him. He cried a bit and fussed, but he was in DP's arms, and I was right there too, and he quickly figured out that when he couldn't have the boob, he could go to DP for comfort.
We gradually added time, so that once he was okay with a 2 hour period of no nursing, we'd try 3 hours. And when he was okay with that, we added another hour.
We got up to about 8 hours, from after he nursed to sleep, until about 5am.
And then we went camping for most of the summer and I undid all that nightweaning to keep him content while I was in campgrounds with neighbours close by and no DP to comfort him.
So, we're back at square one, only this time he's more insistent and less ready to accept no for an answer. We're doing the same process (worked for our older child too for night weaning), but taking our time and just starting with the 2 hours again. It took about 2 months to get from 2 hours to 8 hours, but it was worth doing gently and slowly, and we'll probably take that long again.
I think our way is similar to Dr. Jay Gordon's way, if you want to google his night weaning suggestions.
Our good friends did an entirely different thing ... the nursing mom left the bed and slept on the couch for two nights and that was it for their kid.
Sometimes I wonder if we should do something like that, but it doesn't sit right in my gut or heart, so we'll just keep trucking along as we are.
Good luck!

ps. My 5yo still co-sleeps with us too, and only in the last few weeks has moved to a single bed adjacent to ours. She starts out there, but is back in with us for at least half of the night.

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#3 of 3 Old 09-20-2013, 09:10 PM - Thread Starter
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I did read Dr. Jay Gordon's way and like you it didn't seem right for us, but your slower more gentle method seems just right!  Thank you!!!  Just the perspective I needed.  BEST!!

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