my sweet girl is 10 and a half months old. she wakes to nurse at night at least three or four times, and I am starting to wonder if bed sharing was a mistake, I keep hearing stories of children three and over who still cant sleep through the night! SO, I am wondering when other breast feeding, bed sharing babies finally slept through the night.....
(I love sleeping with my baby and I am in no hurry to stop, but I would love to know there is a light at the end of the sleep deprivation tunnel!)
Both of mine were nightweaned around the time they turned 2. DS immediately started sleeping through the night almost every night. DD slept through the night for the first time ever on her 5th night of no nursing, but she still woke up most nights for a while after that. By the time she was 2 1/2 she probably slept through the night about half the time and when she didn't she usually just woke once. She's 10 now and still not a very good sleeper.
Mother of two spectacular girls, born mid-2010 and late 2012
mine have all woke up lots to nurse until they night weaned (20 months and 22 months). They slept through the night soon after that, although my 3 year old is not a great sleeper and has lots of night terrors and my 5 year old needs to get up to pee at least 1 time a night. ds is almost 8 months and wakes 10 or so times a night. He was down to about 3-4 and is back up at least every hour. my girls woke up at least 3-4 times a night to nurse until they nightweaned.
I feel lucky that I had such low expectations for sleep that I am never disappointed when they sleep terrible.
SAHM to Chloe«- 6/2008 (10 lbs, 5 oz), Hannah- 9/2010 (9 lbs, 12 oz), Liam- 2/2013 (9 lbs, 6 oz)
Granted, my kids are at opposite extremes, but I think no matter what you do or how old your child is some kids just have different sleep habits than others.
With DS we did not nightwean. He was 4.5 before he went 5 hours and over 5 before he went the entire night without nursing.
DP and I are poor sleepers, so we weren't surprised. We're more surprised by our new baby who, at 7 weeks, has already gone four hours several times.
Oy! I feel for you all... I slept with my daughter for 8 months and thought it would be forever. She was still nursing two or three times a night. Within three nights in her own room, she only woke up once around 4 am, nursed and went back to sleep until 6:30. Within a week, she was sleeping through the night.
I thought we would co-sleep forever. I still love snuggling with her at sleep times, and miss her sweet sleepy self all the time. But EVERYONE sleeps better now, and that makes EVERYONE happier. It's a personal choice, but I totally stand behind ours.
Mine started sleeping through the night around the time I stopped nursing. It was trying but he's been sleeping through the night almost 2 months now & he's 15 months. I think it also helps that we started with day care recently too so he gets up earlier & stays busy/entertained and keep him on a schedule & instead of 2 little naps he only takes 1 decent one. Hang in there!
My oldest is 10 1/2 years old...I'm still waiting for him to sleep through the night!
And I'm defining sleeping through the night as saying good night in their own beds in the evening and not having them come into mine before I wake up.
My youngest is 4 1/2 he also still crawls in 99% of the time.
My twin daughters who are 8, sleep in their own beds 99% of the time.
Every kid is different.
I had heard that co sleeping babies always want to nurse int the night, and therefore that's the price if you want to co sleep......SO not true! As other Mommas have said here it can work, and if that's what you want keep on co sleeping!
My son was the same way! Things got better for us about 18mos, he starting sleeping in 3-4 hr chunks. Then at 2 he went from getting up at least 2-3 times a night to sleeping thru at least half the time and then up only once or twice otherwise. He's now 2.5 and since we night weaned a month ago he's been sleeping through the night. Mostly :)
Yes there is a light at then end of the tunnel! My co-sleeping 3 year old was night weaned at 18 months. I used Dr. Jay Gordon's gentle night weaning method and it worked. He does not recommend night weaning until at least 15 months. I made a book for my son and read it to him daily for at least 3 months before and since then he has slept thru the night. Good luck!
My DS is 39 months. And it DEPENDS. Most nights for the last year or so, he only nurses once during the night, and it is fine. IF he is sick, he nurses like a newborn. If there is a mosquito, he nurses pretty often, if there is a new tooth (last one now!) he nurses pretty often. It's toughest when he's sick. We haven't done anything to night wean him, but MOST nights we all sleep fine, and he is gradually slowing down of his own accord.
We sleep with a queen and a double bed pushed together on boxsprings. My husband sleeps on the queen and me and my son on the double. If i have to get up for any reason, I go back to bed on the queen side, otherwise when I get back in it wakes my son and he nurses, and then he is usually more restless all night and nurses more. I think that those nights I am mostly on the other side he seems to sleep the best.
"That's the way it is, if that's the way it seems to you."
"Cosi e se vi pare."
sounds like the main theme here is that all babies sleep when they are ready (something I already knew, but somehow always need to be reminded of :) I truly don't mind night nursing as long as I feel rested the next day, and for the most part I do. I just love co sleeping with my sweet baby so much! when I started this thread dd had just cut two more teeth so I was pretty darn sleepy! my mantra as a mommy is "cycles": bad sleep one week is not too bad when it is followed by good sleep the next :) thanks for all the great replies!
12 months old & no end in sight. I plan to keep going until she is ready to stop, both with the feeding and the co-sleeping. We rarely have to carry her around crying at night thanks to the ease of nursing in bed, I think those who don't co-sleep & night nurse might be even more frustrated and sleep deprived than we are some nights! LOL
All three of mine at about 2 years after we night weaned (gently). They were excited to sleep in their beds, though would occasionally come back to our big bed.
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Dear Gardendweller, no one can answer this question for you, only your baby. Every child is so different and it depends on so many factors... I'm sure that's not what you want to hear, but I think its better than having a false expectation because of what another child did. My daughter is 6m and breastfeeds once in the middle of the night (most of the time); she goes to sleep around 7pm then wakes for a BF around 11-12, but I'm usually still awake, then again sometime in the middle of the night and the next around 6-7am and then she is wide awake and ready to play. I have a co-sleeper bed, so after breastfeeding her I push her back in "her bed" most of the time, don't know if this helps, but with my son, I felt like we kept each other awake, my slightest movement would wake him and then he would want the breast and this happened alllll night long, I did it for 7 months, then we put him in a crib next to our bed and he slept through the night the first time! Well woke around 4 if I remember correctly, for me that was amazing. I hope to co-sleep longer with my daughter. I never refuse little arms out stretched toward me with big bright eyes begging to be cuddled, never! Good luck!
I don't have very reassuring news for you. Neither of my cosleepers were/are great sleepers. Nightweaning didn't do much for them either. Both of my kids just wake up a lot. I'm sure this has been mentioned (didn't read the whole thread) but I think night waking is pretty natural. It's a matter of them finding ways to get back to sleep without waking up their parents. For some kids (or, perhaps, some kids of some parents?), that takes a long time. What cosleeping did for us is get everyone on pretty similar sleep cycles so, although I am waking up, I am rarely getting woken from a sound sleep. So that's the good news. The bad news is that my 2.5 year old still wakes up a night (she no longer nurses at all for about the past week or so - we night weaned about a year ago thinking it would help and it didn't). My older child did not stop night waking until after that.
Re: night weaning. I did night wean our toddler. In part because I thought it would help with night waking, which it didn't. But, for us, we had other motivations for night weaning and I'm still glad we did it. It really wasn't hard for a verbal child who is ready. I just told her that we were nursing downstairs before bed and then again in the morning. She kind of magically got it. I think it's a matter of finding a sweet spot when both the mother and child are ready. If it's super hard, I would stop and try again in a few months. But, seriously, if you don't want to stop other than for night waking, I'd reconsider. For my DC the two weren't all that related...and then it takes longer for the child to get back to sleep w/o night nursing. If the motivation is sleep - I think you may end up with less, unfortunately.
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I agree with all of the posters who indicated that it completely depends on your child. My DD was always a big nighttime nurser, every 1-1/12 hours (that I was awakened), all night, every night, until I nightweaned at about 2.5 years. She was very verbal at that point and understood when we talked about it for a few weeks before. I did not get any resistance really (I don't think I could have done it if I had!). I, like several other mamas who have already posted, thought it would help me get more sleep. It sort of did, but not really. DD still woke frequently, perhaps not quite as often, but went back to sleep less easily (as IdentityCrisisMama indicated above). And she continued to nurse in the daytime until almost 3 years old. Ultimately, she continued to cosleep until she was about 4.5 years. She didn't sleep through the night ever until she was 5-6 years, and then only infrequently. She is 10 now and still wakes, typically only 1-2 times a night, to go to the bathroom or get a drink of water. When I would tell friends that DD wasn't sleeping through the night at 2 and then 3 and then 4, they were horrified. But her wakings were never anything that could be ignored or changed or "trained" as some people would suggest. She would often wake to use the bathroom but just as frequently had bad dreams or growing pains (where she'd wake with tears streaming down her face). How do you not attend to that?! And with illness. It seemed like there was always one of those variables at play. It never felt manipulative either, again, as some people have suggested to me. She is who she is and she is not a great sleeper. My DH and I are not either. While I do wish I could have gotten more and better sleep those first few years, and I know how amazingly difficult it was emotionally and physically to work and be a mama with the sleep deprivation, I don't think I would or could have changed it. And yes, it does definitely get better!! It's always a little crazy but better. Good luck to you!!
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