I'm the one CIO at bedtime! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 9 Old 01-04-2014, 04:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My DS will be 8 months this Tuesday and DH and I are struggling with bedtime. DS is an extraordinarily happy kid during the day, and goes down for naps with very little fuss. Once nighttime comes around and it is time for bed, it is like I have an entirely different child. He screams as soon as he feels sleep coming on, will not take a pacifier, and if I can get him to take the paci (either by nursing him and switching to the bink once he is no longer eating, or by using a bottle with water to trigger his swallow reflex) he will only sleep in my arms and cries when we try and put him in his crib.

 

This has led us to unintentional co-sleeping, which I wouldn't mind if we had something larger than a queen size bed, and our large retriever didn't sleep with us as well. Most nights DH ends up in the spare bedroom, and I end up exhausted since DS is not sleeping through the night. It's also terrifying when I wake up and can't remember moving him from the crib to my bed! I often find myself nursing him half aleeep- I don't think he is hungry, just can't get himself back to sleep on his own, but it is definitely interfering with my ability to function during the day!

 

I guess I just want to know if there is anything I can do to help him not fight sleep so much, and work on getting him to self soothe at night. I know that it will get better at some point, but right now this is taking its toll on myself and DH physically, emotionally, and affecting how we relate to one another. 

 

We have tried bedtime routines involving bath time, but that just seems to wake him up. I work alternating hours and DH does not come home until late at night since he goes to school in the city, so I don't even know if a bedtime routine will be a good idea if we can't keep to it, but I'm open to anything! DH is on break from school right now, so this would be an optimal time to try something that needs consistency since he is home every night. We have heard of a baby sleep aid, called triple complex something or other, but I don't know if that's the route we need to take.

 

I'm going in circles- in this post and real life! Help!


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#2 of 9 Old 01-04-2014, 05:54 PM
 
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Its probably just 8 month sleep regression. It clears up by itself as abruptly as it started. I couldn't find any solutions, I just waited it out. 9 months was much better! Sorry I know that doesn't help. But at least there's light at the end of the tunnel.

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#3 of 9 Old 01-04-2014, 06:53 PM
 
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I agree, it may just pass in a few weeks. Any teeth on the horizon? Have you tried putting him to bed a bit earlier to make sure he's not overtired?
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#4 of 9 Old 01-04-2014, 07:55 PM
 
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Can't you have the dog sleep somewhere else, and keep the baby in bed with you, so you can nurse half asleep?
He needs you more; Most 8 mo old don't "self soothe"
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#5 of 9 Old 01-06-2014, 03:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for your responses!

I've realized now it is because he is alone. I have found him reaching for me in his sleep and he only stops fussing once he had found my arm/hand/chest to hold on to. I'm relieved there is a way to get him to sleep, just discouraged that it is his attachment to me that is preventing us from sleeping.

He has never been easy to put to sleep, and it feels as if he's been teething FOREVER with no ten to show for it.

My goal is to get him OUT of the bed and sleeping for more than two hours at a time. DH purchased Triple Complex Sleep Tonic so we will try that and see how it goes

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#6 of 9 Old 01-06-2014, 04:48 AM
 
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My son didn't start self soothing until 18 months. Since birth he was in some kind of bed attached to our bed (cosleeper, then crib, now twin), and he had always had to come into the bed at about 6am for his last 2 hours of cuddle sleep.

From what I've read your LO is too young to self soothe and is probably too young to be far from you at night. The other thing I read is that repetition is key, so if babe keeps trying to come into bed we keep putting him back in his over and over. However nothing we do will get him off the 6am cuddle co sleep, which is totally fine with me (I guess he sleep trained me!!)
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#7 of 9 Old 01-06-2014, 05:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I've seen a lot about having the crib "attached" to the bed. Is it safe? How does it work?

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#8 of 9 Old 01-06-2014, 10:31 AM
 
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You basically just take off one side of the crib and bungee everything together, being mindful of the gap between the beds. We have ours like this still (at almost 4!), but with the toddler rail up to designate separate spaces. It's been great. Another option is going the floor bed route for a while.
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#9 of 9 Old 01-06-2014, 10:49 AM
 
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At first we had an arm's reach cosleeper that had the hardware to attach directly to the bed.

 

When we moved to the crib we did the "side car" thing where his crib was right up against our bed. If he woke during the night wanting in the bed i'd generally try to ignore him and if that didn't work i'd take him in the bed for a little cuddle then put him back in the crib. Eventually i guess he got the idea that while he could be right beside our bed he couldn't be in it.

 

Now we have his twin bed right up against our queen bed. Lately he has been coming into our bed but htat's because DH has been sleeping in the other room because he's sick so LO kind of pushes his way in and there's enough room. Normally if he tries this i use my body as a barrier and tell him stay in his bed in my firm loving night voice.

 

Most nights i get 8 hours uninterrupted, and i have been lucky that this has been the case since ds was about 2 months.

 

Many women i know nurse throughout the night but i stopped doing this when ds was about 8 weeks because i didn't want to set a precedent where i'm up all night feeding him. I'm the kind of person who really needs my sleep. I always give him a big snack right before bedtime. The 6am cuddle started because that's when he got really hungry and needed to nurse (as opposed to just nursing for comfort). Anyway, it's not normal to eat throughout the night so i never saw the point in encouraging that kind of behaviour. I know it sounds a little harsh but because i'm usually well rested i'm more efficient at work and more patient as a mom. Babe and i are super attached, he just knows that there are boundaries at night, sleep is really the only area where i'm pretty "strict".

 

Hope that wasn't tmi!

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