We have a toddler bed in our room, and I optimistically hoped to be able to put her to bed there, after a story and snuggles, and then she could sleep with us if/when she woke up during the night. This did work for awhile during the summer, but she started getting stubborn and angry about it, and would NOT fall asleep, and I didn't feel comfortable pushing it.
I've also considered just taking her up to my bed, doing her story and routine there, and then just reading a book - myself - while I wait for her to zonk out. This also worked, a couple of times, but as soon as she realized what was up, she stopped allowing it, and just sits up and asks to go downstairs, or climbs out of bed and runs to the baby gate at the top of the stairs and calls her dad. =P
So I'm not really sure how to begin. I really feel like she's ready to have a more established bedtime, like her older siblings (they go to bed at 8 and 8:30 respectively), and she definitely needs more sleep! Can this be done, with a co-sleeper? Do I just need to be more persistant?
The sad thing is that I did this same thing with my older two, and everything went fine? Why is it not working, this time?! I suppose because she's definitely the most stubborn out of the three? Haha.
I've co-slept with both my dk until they were 3-4, and they always had an early bedtime (around 8pm).
I don't mean to judge you, but allowing only 8 hours of sleep for a 2.5 year old is not fair.
What I used to do since they were babies is have our nighttime routine, then nurse to sleep or lay in bed with them until they were asleep. Then I would have a couple of hours for myself in the evening, and I joined them later.
What if you refused to let her go downstairs or climb out of bed? If she wants her dad, maybe she would sleep better for him?
I know my dh was a lot better at putting dk to sleep once they were out of the nursing-to-sleep stage.
Weve always had a structured bedtime, usually dim lights, supper/yoghurt/kefir, stories, lights out, nurse baby to sleep. I co sleep with my 23mth old, 5yo, and 8yo. Our routine hasnt changed since my 8yo starting eating yoghurt.
DD2 is too little to climb out of bed yet but, if DD1 does/did then we just bring her back and tell her it's time to sleep. Sometimes it takes a long time for her to wind down, especially if she hasn't had a very active day but other times it can be fairly quick.
Mother of two spectacular girls, born mid-2010 and late 2012
Maybe I'll put my foot down and try to force a set bedtime on a weekend, so it's less of an issue for the older two if they get no sleep while she fights it out? =P
She's also refusing to nap, lately, so I know she's not getting nearly enough sleep. She has absolutely no intention of sleeping. It's just bizarre to me.
She wants to be with you. Could you let her sleep downstairs? I think the reason it has always worked for me is that i go to bed at the same time as the kids, and the bed is near the main living area. Thats how it works for us.
The holidays made it worse, as our schedule was all over the place due to travelling, dinners, etc. So now we're just looking to get back on track with a new routine with more structure.
We tried it last night. I figured that her older siblings go to bed around 8pm, so I put her down at 7:30 thinking it'd give me time to get her to sleep before I had to put the others to bed. WRONG! Haha. I gave her a bath, put her in her PJ's, brought her into the bed, and was planning on laying with her reading stories until she fell asleep. Instead, she flipped out as soon as I set her on the bed, said she wanted to go downstairs, told me she didn't want stories, and then started calling her dad (she knew he'd rescue her). Instead, he layed down with her and told her he was going to read her the story. She calmed down somewhat (she was still crying), but still wouldn't go to sleep. I was able to escape for a bit to go put the others to bed, and then went back up because she was calling me. She didn't go to sleep until closer to 9:30, two full hours after we had put her to bed. And we had to stay with her. And ended up just going to bed when she did. Blah.
We'll just keep doing it, and hopefully she'll cave and realize that bedtime is bedtime, and is non-negotiable. Baby steps? =/
She did turn to me at one point and say "I'm sorry, Mommy, but I want Daddy!" What a goof, haha. So Dad came up and snoozed with her for a bit, again. Maybe I should just put him in charge of toddler bedtime.
I agree that it's best to be persistent about putting her to bed, IN BED, earlyish. My son was a lot like you describe--he started out easily getting the sleep he needed in a wonderfully flexible way, but as he reached preschool age, and especially as he quit napping, we needed to be much firmer about bedtime. Here's a lot of detail on how our sleep strategies evolved. I think that winding her down in the place where you want her to sleep for the night, and staying there with her until she's conked out, is the best approach. Ideally, you and your partner should take turns so that both of you are "able" to get her to sleep; it'll give you more flexibility in dealing with your other kids and other activities.
Can she fall asleep with the light on? We had a long stage when our routine was that the bedtime parent would read stories to the kid, then say good night and lie next to him silently reading my own book. He was soothed by my presence, with no interaction to keep him alert--but I felt like I was "doing something" so didn't get restless and resentful. I recently talked with a relative whose daughters (3 and 4) won't go to sleep with a lamp on in the room, but he's able to sit in a chair reading on his Kindle, since the screen isn't very bright and is turned away from them; it's his one reading time every day, and he treasures it!
Mama to a boy EnviroKid 10 years old and a little girl EnviroBaby !
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