I consistently put him to bed two hours after he wakes up twice a day, usually at 9 and 1 are his naps. Bedtime usually 7 or 7:30. I play white noise. I make sure he is filled up with breast milk and other snacks but nothing helps. I nurse him to sleep in our bed and sneak out after he's asleep but 40 minute later he's awake and needs a boob to call back asleep. I have tried getting him to sleep other ways but he screams until he gets a boob. I am not going to let him cry it out but I don't know what else to do and this needs to stop for the sanity of everyone in my household.
I hope someone comes by and can give you some advice.
My first daughter slept like that, she was really a catnapper during the day, falling asleep for about 45 minutes while I held her, and then I couldn't really put her to bed before me at night. There were times when she'd fall asleep and stay asleep for several hours, but it seemed to be in the evening before I was ready to go to bed, and she'd only sleep down in the noisy living room next to me on the couch. Then she'd usually wake up for a couple hours around 9 or 10 and go to bed when we went to bed around midnight. And then she would nurse a number of times during the night, she never seemed to sleep for more than 1 or 2 hour stretches at night, but I'm thinking there were times she must have slept 4 hours.
Sometimes I would nurse her to sleep on my bed, but she'd usually wake up if she was in the bed and I wasn't there, and if I tried to move her to the crib once I had nursed her to sleep, it just wouldn't work at all.
Will he take the sling at all? After my issues with my first, I put my second child in the sling constantly, right from birth, and I'd move her into it even if she was sleeping somewhere else. Both my children would sleep in a swing for stretches during the day so I could do some things without them in arms or sling, but I do remember the nights being challenging with my first. Even after she was weaned from the breast, I still had to go to her room and lie in her bed with her for a long time. I don't remember when that stopped, but now she's in high school, and it feels like it a lifetime ago, so I don't guess I really have any suggestions other than having him sleep near you for the first part of the bed while you are still up.
Are you familiar with Elizabeth Pantley's "The no-cry sleep solution" book, or "the no-cry nap solution"? I've read both of those books (twice!) and have tried a few things that seem to make a difference. My son is 10.5 months, and it's a similar situation to yours. I put a fan on in his room, and I hung up blankets in the windows to make the room darker. He is very easily distracted from nursing during the day, so I found that nursing him in his rocking chair in a darkened room with the fan seems to work. I know you have another child and that may not be possible, but could that child play quietly in the same room (or another) while you get your baby to sleep? Good luck!