Putting baby down awake - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Thread Tools
#1 of 5 Old 03-12-2014, 05:54 PM - Thread Starter
EstherRose's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 6
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I happily nurse my 15mo DD but we are in the classic nurse-to-sleep and nurse-all-night breastfeeding/cosleeping dynamic that was fine for the first year but I'm ready to break. Partially this is because if I return to work I might be working some nights. So, first step I always see is putting baby to bed still awake, not nursing all the way to sleep (step one of Dr Gordon's method, in Pantley's No Cry book, etc). 


My question is -- has anyone successfully changed this habit with an older baby/toddler? I can't see how on earth she will go for it. I have tried but once she starts crying for me I give in. Do I just need to put up with a good deal of unhappiness from her? Is it better to make hubby attempt bed? Will that even work?!? She's old enough to know her routine, and her routine = nursies to sleep! Hard for me to imagine any other way, although for sure I won't be moving into her college dorm room. 


Thanks for any advice or encouragement:) 

EstherRose is offline  
#2 of 5 Old 03-12-2014, 06:10 PM
blessedwithboys's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,582
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)
Originally Posted by EstherRose View Post

Do I just need to put up with a good deal of unhappiness from her?  This sounds like a nice way of saying CIO and CIO is not ok.




Is it better to make hubby attempt bed?  Yes, if hubby is attending to baby, then it's not CIO.  She may or may not complain loudly, but in-arms crying/fussing is different from being left alone.  This may be an excellent compromise to get your baby to go to sleep without nursing, though it may or may not work to get her to the point of being laid down awake.

Bring back the old MDC
blessedwithboys is online now  
#3 of 5 Old 03-12-2014, 06:53 PM - Thread Starter
EstherRose's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 6
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Originally Posted by blessedwithboys View Post

agree completely - I am not at all interested in CIO. And putting her down before she is asleep = crying! Hence my dilemma. Hubby has done practically no nighttime duty since birth so it would be big shock to her...but I can see why distance from nursies might be better than being right next to nursies but not getting them! Thanks:)

EstherRose is offline  
#4 of 5 Old 03-14-2014, 12:17 PM
zenaviva's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 37
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

My very spirited one year old started being able to be put down drowsy at about 12 months.  She will now do it about 75% of the time - minus when she's teething or extra clingy.  Usually if she's been upset about something earlier in the day and cried a lot, she'll need to cuddle to sleep.  Sometimes I'll lay down next to her for a few mins.  (She's in a crib pushed against the side of our bed.)  But usually she's pretty good about it now.  (Hope I don't jinx it!)


ETA:  If she's crying, nothing will calm her down - not DH, not time, etc.  For a week or two she complained when I put her down, but when she saw I lay down next to her and pretended to be asleep, she'd lay down and stop fussing.  But if she was genuinely crying (either in the evening or in the middle of the night) she still needed nursing.  It's a evaluate-as-you-go kind of situation.

zenaviva is offline  
#5 of 5 Old 03-14-2014, 01:36 PM
pokeyac's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Bay Area, Ca
Posts: 3,458
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 17 Post(s)
I wish I had the answer for you. I have been told DS will go to sleep on his own when placed in his crib by DW or our nanny, but I haven't tried it because I've got the milkies. I know at some point we will need to do this. I feel like everything I read just says, "Put them down to sleep when drowsy but not asleep" and then it stops there. How do you do that? It sounds simple but there must be more to it. I have been told having your partner do it can work because they don't associate going to bed with nursing. It seems like you need to alter the routine a bit until baby gets used to it.

Married to a wonderful woman since 2010. Baby boy C arrived in June 2013!

Check out our User Agreement.
pokeyac is offline  

Quick Reply
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off