5 year old still in bed with us, new one due in may, have to switch sides - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 03-26-2014, 08:58 AM - Thread Starter
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hey there! so, this may seem like a strange question, but my husband brought it up to me last night and i understand where he's coming from. dd is 5. she still sleeps with us, we're fine with it and don't want her to move to her own bed until she's good and ready - but we have dd#2 due in may and she'll be in her cosleeper next to my side of the bed for a few months before winding up in bed with us (like dd#1 did) - what this means is that instead of sleeping on my side, next to me, dd#1 will have to switch to sleeping on the other side of the bed next to her daddy (she kicks the covers off in the night, so in the middle makes us all miserable, if she's on an edge, she can kick covers off herself without freezing the whole family). so last night dh asked me what other dads with little girls do about their, um... man parts. you know how in the mornings sometimes they get erections that they cannot control - right now he doesn't have to worry about it b/c dd is next to me. he can get up to pee and it goes away and he's fine and she's none the wiser - but he's absolutely terrified of IT being anywhere near her. he's bought some tighter undies to wear at night and thought of maybe wearing sleep pants too, but he's still worried about it.
how do the daddies handle this? or is it one of those things that you fear, but never actually happens/becomes an issue? maybe he's worrying about nothing?

okee, well thanks for any input you have on this

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#2 of 6 Old 03-31-2014, 09:58 PM
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I dunno, anyone have any experience with this?
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#3 of 6 Old 03-31-2014, 10:50 PM
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I can ask DH but I don't think it was ever an issue. Thought that doesnt seem to be a common occurrence around here anyway. DH did always wear pajama pants when cosleeping with DD.

Me + DH = DD (1/2004) & DS (6/2013) & One on the way (11/2015)
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#4 of 6 Old 05-03-2014, 06:35 PM
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I don't have any advice on the issue your husband brought up...as a woman, I never even thought of that. Our oldest is a bit over 3 and boy, so this is an issue he himself understands...lol.  However, I did want to comment on the blanket issue and the need to switch sides.


Our DS sleeps in the middle and has hated blankets since birth - absolutely refuses one.  If we try to get sneaky and wait until he's asleep to place a blanket on him, he will kick like a mad-man until it's off.  Our solution is that DH and I each have our own blankets. DS has warm jammies if needed.


Just something to consider :)

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#5 of 6 Old 09-04-2014, 01:17 PM
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Because my brother-in-law and his wife are visiting for a year from overseas they got the kids room and we all sleep together in our bed. We moved a twin bed right next to our queen so now we have a really big bed.
Our oldest, Dd is just turned 4 and we have not had a problem with this. Hubby wears his undies (sometimes shorts) and we have our blanket on. We just don't draw attention to anything and so far all is ok. Usually dh is up before the rest of us anyway.
We also have a dd age 2 and ds age 10 months.
I thought I wouldn't like co-sleeping with them all but actually it feels more natural and I like it. I only wish that they would allow daddy to put them to sleep once in a while instead of mommy so I could spend more time by my dh's side.
Ps the two older ones are moved over to the twin bed side after they are asleep and have their own blanket (which they don't use either).
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#6 of 6 Old 09-08-2014, 08:25 AM
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We haven't dealt with this ourselves, but I think "don't call attention to it" is the best strategy. My dad used to walk around naked a lot, and we co-slept sometimes, but until I read a book about puberty I thought erections were something that only happened to little brothers.

I recommend moving your daughter to the other side of the bed months before the baby comes so she can get used to the idea. When my partner installed the carseat for our new baby a few weeks before she was born, he decided without consulting anybody that it would be best to put it on the right-hand side of the back seat. But our son had always sat on the right since we got this car (which doesn't allow a car seat to be installed in the center) when he was 3, and he was very upset to find the baby's seat on "his" side!! As if we were replacing him with the baby!! My partner thought the kid was just being difficult until I explained that the reason I had put his carseat on the right was that I used to sit in back with him if I wasn't driving...and MY seat in the back of a car is on the left, because when I was a kid I always sat on the left and my brother always sat on the right, so it really feels weird to me to sit on the "wrong" side especially in a familiar car. If there were any very important reason to have the baby on the right, I would've explained to our son in advance and had him switch several months earlier. Side of the bed is at least as important as side of the car, so switch early and with plenty of empathy!

Mama to a boy EnviroKid 10 years old and a girl EnviroBaby 1 year old!
I write about parenting, environment, cooking, and more.
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