Former CIO mama ready to convert. Need advice. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 08-19-2004, 02:53 AM - Thread Starter
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The longer I'm a parent, the more AP I get. And I am trying to recover from my Babywise past. I never, never thought I'd say that but here I am. Thanks for your gentle help and advice along my parenting journey. MDC has made all the differnece!

DS is sleeping fine now at 10m with absolutly no cio. We did use a more mild version of the cio, never more than 15 mintes, not that that's okay, but just wanted you to know this training only lasted a few months when he was little and we weren't crazy about it. From about 5.5 months on he never cio and has always been a great sleeper. So I'm not necessarily asking advice for him, but for the topic in general and for future children.

So my question is, is it possible to help fosster a good sleeper with no cio. My son has awesome sleep habits but I think it is partly due to his learned independant sleep as a little one. So maybe ap mamas who have some tips to gently encourage good sleeping habits could chime in.

I know many may not agree, which I'm totally okay with, but just for our family, I don't want to be rocking/nursing the net one to sleep till they're 3. KWIM? I love that I just do a little sleep rountine, and ds happily falls asleep on his own with his "lovey" bear. Can I accomplish this with the next one w/o cio? I am willing to accept a lot more dicrepancies (sp?) in sleep paterns and times with #2, but I don't want to live some of the ap sleeping horror stories I read about on this board. Is there a happy medium?

I must mention that I don't mean to offend any of those who do have extremely difficult sleepers and I do believe that you are wonderful parents doing what's right for your family.

I read no cry sleep solution, but that was a long time ago I don't really remeber that much of it, and would love some really life advice from mamas here.

Thank you, thank you!

Ashley, Jesus loving mama to Jaden (8) Trace (6) and Liam (3) and fost/adopt twins Talia and Oliva (1).  Happily married for a decade! 

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#2 of 6 Old 08-19-2004, 04:23 AM
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Hi Ashley,

welcome to the no-cio world!

As to your question how to guarantee to have a good sleeper with or without CIO, I think that all depends of the baby. You seem to be lucky to have an easy baby.

I never tried CIO with Hannah, and with me she's always been used to fall asleep while nursing, or carying. But my husband could put her to sleep differently (until he was absent for a month, and Hannah 'forgot' about that technique). At daycare they told me that Hannah would really sleep very well and easily.


Belgian mom, Polish blood, 2 little girls running around (2003/2005), and a little boy (nov 2009).
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#3 of 6 Old 08-19-2004, 09:40 PM
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We have never used the CIO method, but Abigail also is not rocked or nursed to sleep. She is 19 months old now, and our bedtime routine is one of us rocking her in the glider while singing to her while she drinks her sippy cup of rice milk, then we say a prayer together, tell her we love her and say night night. We lay her down in her crib, she waves at us and says "nigh nigh mommy" with a huge smile on her face, rolls over and drifts off to sleep.

Like you, I wanted to instill a positive association with sleep and not use CIO.

When she was little I would feed her, then we would play for a bit, and when she looked as though she was starting to get sleepy, we would lay her down. Most of the time she would fall asleep. If she cried, we picked her right back up and rocked her, held her etc, then would lay her back down. Again, she almost always fell right to sleep. We would never leave her to cry.

While I never put her on a schedule, we did have a loose routine to our day. This just worked well for our family.

She sleeps in her crib at night, and has napped there as well most of the time. When she was younger she would sometimes nap in the sling, in the car if we were out and about, in my arms or with me on the couch, but as she started becoming moble she showed a preference for her crib.

She has always been a wonderful sleeper, and never had a problem with naps ( 2, 2 hour naps a day) and bedtime (7:30pm - 7:00am). In fact, we don't tell her when it is nap or bed time, she knows when she is tired (same time most days) and will say to us "nigh nigh mommy" and point ask to go to sleep.

I think quality sleep is important to a childs development, and that it is important to help them develop good sleep habbits. How this works for each family is different. Many prefer shared sleep, however, this is not four our family.

It is very possible to create a loving, secure, night time parenting routine that does not leave the child alone to cry or fuss. I firmly believe parenting is a 24 hour responsibility, and for us, this is what worked.
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#4 of 6 Old 08-19-2004, 11:13 PM
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I think that is a hard question. I think all babies are different with different temperaments and personalities. I have been a nanny for 12+ years and had always started with newborns. Some babies seem to just like to sleep, others have something else in mind.:LOL The things you do with one, you may find you have to the complete opposite with the other. Every baby has there own agenda. :LOL I think the "NCSS" has some great suggestions for starting out with good habits with a newborn.

Tina ~ SAHcarrot.gif- head Mama to - 

  DS blowkiss.gif(07/'03), DD energy.gif(05'05), DS, unplanned UC sleepytime.gif(01/'09), DD joy.gif(06/'11) ...

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#5 of 6 Old 08-20-2004, 12:01 AM - Thread Starter
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Thank you so much for the helpful hints, and I'd love to hear some more. I do agree with you all that each child is unique. But I think there is also something to be said for consitancy in parenting styles. That's one reason I would love to hear some suggestions of work for some families and what did not b/c I know some day they might come in handy.

AMS: It was so good to hear that it is possible to gently teach your child a possitive association to sleep. So you would just rock her till sleepy but awake then usually she would fall asleep and if she didn't you would repeat the process till she did fall asleep? How long does this process take and at what age did she stop not ever fussing at all? Just looking for some specifics b/c I'm knew to this and it would be so helpful.

I picked up NCSS again from the library today and only read a few chapters but loved what I read. I'm really looking forward to the rest of this book and want to buy it for some of my friends. It's funny how reading a book with a more open mind and different perspective can totally change things!

Ashley, Jesus loving mama to Jaden (8) Trace (6) and Liam (3) and fost/adopt twins Talia and Oliva (1).  Happily married for a decade! 

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#6 of 6 Old 08-20-2004, 06:52 PM
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I'll just jump in and throw out this idea I've been having: that an AP child needs less consistency in parenting-to-sleep methods! The belief that a child needs to do the same thing every night to go to sleep leads to parents thinking their child can only go to sleep if those things occur. I think the child benefits from a little flexibility - you don't always have to do ABC to "make" the child sleep. If you are relaxed about it, you can experiment a little with what works on that particular night.

That's a tiny portion of the sleep cake, though. From my sample of 3, I conclude that "good sleepers" are born and not made! I can't make them do anything, just set up a conducive environment, not get too stressed about it myself, and eventually they figure out that THEY want to sleep...
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