Hi Lillianna. I'm just jumping in here too. In my house, my baby usually goes to bed when I do, unless she's really sleepy. In that case, she'll nurse herself to sleep in my lap in the living room, and I'll lay her down in our bed and join her later. Naps work that way too. I know it's nap time when she gets whiny and pulls up in my lap and tosses her head back to nurse. That means I need to pull out my book and read for 15 or 20 minutes until she's good and asleep, then I lay her in the bed.
On the good parent/bad parent, cio/cosleep debate: It's funny, I've been thinking a bit about this topic lately! I have three older children, and one little one. When my older ones were little, I found other moms with my same mindset through LLL, etc. When the kids got older, I made new friends closer to home with the moms that were active in the same parent involvement programs at the schools, etc. I have some close friendships with these moms now, and we've watched our kids grow up together. They are great moms with great kids, and I'm glad my kids have grown up with theirs. When you have left the breastfeeding and cosleeping years (and they do go by quickly, believe it or not) you tend to forget about those days. It never occured to me to wonder what my new friends did when their kids were little. Now that my friends see me breastfeeding and sleeping with a toddler, they are astonished! They ask a lot of questions. I was astonished at first to discover that these great moms with great kids bottle fed and put their babies in cribs to cio! But, parenting is a complex equation. I would never and will never give up extended nursing and cosleeping. But I do see good moms who didn't do either.
To be perfectly honest, my house is different than their houses in some ways. They are always complaining about siblings battling each other, and that just doesn't happen here. (Tandem nursing, maybe?) On the flip side, their kids seem to be a little more mature and a little less dependent on mom as they enter the teen years. But, I've never been in a rush for my kids to grow up too quickly. I guess it depends on what you're after.
Bottom line, there's more than one way to skin a cat. Of course, I think my way is the best way, otherwise, I would have done it differently. But, I'm not going to knock my friends for doing what they did. I know these ladies, and they want the best for their kids too.