Let's share our co-sleeping stories! - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 70 Old 01-17-2005, 11:45 PM
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What a wonderful thread I have to admit that I did not intend to co-sleep before I had dd. I had read about it and AP in my Dr Sears Baby Book (love that book btw) but I thought "um, no not for us". After we got home from the hospital I tried putting her in the pack n play next to our bed. She would either wake up or sleep VERY restlessly so I brought her in bed with us and she slept great. That sweet little girl wanted nothing more than to be snuggled up next to me. I am so grateful that she was the one who decided where she wanted to sleep because I couldn't imagine having her sleep anywhere else! How wonderful it is to hear her breath and laugh in her sleep. This time with her is so precious and we get to nurture her even in her sleep.

Tina - mama to DD1 12yrs, DD2 7yrs, DD3 4 yrs & baby and wifey to DH.
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#62 of 70 Old 01-18-2005, 12:39 AM
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I love reading all the stories! So let's see... When dd was a new-born, she'd start the night in the basinette and end up in the big (king size) bed. She was out of the bed at about a year because she was flailing all over the place and waking up everybody. She seemed to sleep better in her own space and in her own room. Once she could scale the crib walls, though, we needed plan B. She was great at the mount but not so great at the dismount. We had a fold-up fort and we made that her sleeping area until she outgrew it and graduated to a full size bed of her own. I usually laid with her, reading stories and singing songs, until one or both of us fell asleep.

This came to an end when I was pregnant with DS and couldn'y handle sleeping on the floor. He's been in the big bed most of the time, though we moved him to the crib once his need for night-time nursing waned. He developed the same mount/dismount issue as dd, so last weekend the crib finally came down. He's already too big for the fort, though, so we'll probably just make us a nest on the floor of his room. I'll lay with him until he goes to sleep, then I'll head back to the big bed.

BTW, I keep reading about TV over-stimulating the bed-bound kid, and I have to say that hasn't been true for my kids. In fact, a short video (halleluia for fast forward) is part of settling down little bodies in our house.
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#63 of 70 Old 01-18-2005, 02:04 AM
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We have a kind of unusual cosleeping story. When my dd was born, I was neither pro or anti cosleeping...I was kind of a "we'll see what works" gal. Unfortunately, because of my dd's multiple health problems and disabilities, I did not have much choice in things. During the day she spent her entire day laying over my shoulder or on my chest, cuddling but usually screaming. I am not sure whether this was from her medical/neurological problems or anxiety from being in the NICU for more than a month, but she had to be held all the time. It was exhausting but valuable for both of us.

At night we kept her in a cradle that was partially side-carred to the bed. She was unable to sleep in the bed with us because she had very little ability to move her arms, legs, or head (and at first she was not even able to cry!) and it was not safe for her to be in the bed. She was also hooked up to a lot of equipment at night (feeding pump, etc.) and vomited about 5 times a night which made cosleeping impossible. She is also a really light sleeper and wakes up if you roll over or move anything, unfortunately forcing us to move her into her own room at about 6 months. We still continued (and continue!) our daytime cosleeping...and I still can't move while she sleeps!

At about 10 months I tried to start cosleeping with her parttime at night since she was able to move better and protect herself better. Her vomiting was also improving. But all she did was scream her head off and start vomiting until I picked her up and held her upright. At 12 months she finally started laying without screaming in the bed (but not sleeping) for an hour in the morning.

At about 14 months she decided that she really liked being in the bed and even started sleeping a little bit. Now she loves being in the bed and sleeping with me, although she really wants to be wrapped in my arms all the time and still wakes up when you move at all most of the time. Our usual pattern is I rock her to sleep, put her in her crib for a minimum of six hours when she gets her overnight tube-feeding, and then bring her in the bed with me whenever she wakes up after that. Sometimes she sleeps 4 hours with me; other nights she just cuddles for a half hour in the morning.

Sleeping with me has really helped to decrease her anxiety about everything. She no longer cries everytime I put her down or sit her next to me instead of on me. She has become much more secure. She also gets much deeper sustained sleep with me, as long as I don't move!

DS will be born in about six weeks and we are not sure what we will do with him either. He will start in the sidecar cradle and snuggle nest and we'll see how things go from there. He doesn't have a crib. This time I will be nursing (I pumped for DD for 13 months) so things will probably be very different.
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#64 of 70 Old 01-19-2005, 12:02 AM
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I purchased a cosleeper when I was pg with dd. She would have nothing to do with that . After a few sleepless nights, I reluctantly put her in bed with us. Soon we got a twin and pushed it up against the bed, but they were different heights. Then, we got 2 double beds from a hotel that were the same height and pushed those together. When ds was born, I didn't even bother with the cosleeper (actually, it is on ebay right now).

Our set up is: ds against the wall, then me, then dd and dh on the end.

Now, I am not a large person, and obviously dd and ds are not, either. Dh is usually way on the end or on the couch (he wakes up REALLY early and just watches tv). So, we have lots of room. Yet both kids usually snuggle up to me and I honest to God usually have about 11 inches of space in between the two of them. This gets kind of irritating, but still...

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#65 of 70 Old 01-19-2005, 04:40 PM
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Neat stories. We ended up co-sleeping with our ds because he refused to sleep without us. He and I slept all over the place together, recliner, couch, spare bedroom, before dh agreed to give cosleeping a chance. After a few months or so we moved his crib into our room and started putting him to bed in there, thus freeing us to be adults for a while. When he woke up - usually around 2, he got in bed with us. This continued until he was 10 months. Then we put his crib in his room and when he woke he would come in our room. At 14 months we traded the crib for a toddler bed and he started sleeping through the night, thus ending our co-sleeping.

With dd, we brought her home from the hospital and into our bed. She started sleeping in her crib (in our room) for the first part of the night at around 2 months. But it's off and on. Some nights she sleeps 1/2 hour before waking up and coming into our bed and other nights she makes it til 2:30. She is down to nursing only once or twice at night now, and she's almost 8 months. It's working great for us.

BTW, our bed is a full sized, so we are squished as heck but snuggling close.
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#66 of 70 Old 01-20-2005, 09:48 PM
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We never really consciuosly decided to co-sleep. I had never heard the term before, it just made sense to keep my babies near to me during the night as well as the day--for their confort and security as well as my own! Well, as my babies became little boys it continued to make sense--after a day out in the world exploring and experiencing, we all felt comforted by our big family bed. Now they are becoming big boys(7 and 10), and although they have recently begun to fall asleep in their own shared room, we all always wake up together in the big bed. The little guy wanders in around 1:00 and the big guy around 4:00. Both of them love to cuddle and I want to enjoy it as long as I can, I see their childhood passing by so fast! I also want to encourage their affectionate natures, and I think cosleeping is the best remedy for nightmares and sleeplessness. We have always had an extra futon somewhere in the house, so if me or dad (or me AND dad ) feel we need some space there has always been another bed available somewhere.
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#67 of 70 Old 01-25-2005, 02:39 AM
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New here, but I have been co-sleeping since my second child was born. My first we made sleep in her own bed and it was a very difficult struggle with her, but made easier by the fact that she was a formula baby after the third month. The second baby came along and she was not as independent as the first and I was determined to make the bf'ing work. It helped that she was a thumb sucking little cuddler too. For the first few months she slept in the crib and would wind up in the bed on nights I was too exhausted to stay awake. Then my dh wound up in Korea and frankly, I just wanted a warm little body next to me to cuddle with at night and since I was still bf'ing it made it easy. DH came home on leave and I was p.g. again. I wound up weaing #2 at about 18 months, but she insisted on holding onto my bra strap, so slept with a bra at night to let her hold onto her comfort zone. Then once the child #3 was born #2 still was still in my bed and I let her sleep behind me and her little fat hand was still down my shirt and holding onto my bra in back while I was nursing 3 in front. lol. Eventually I put 2 and 3 in their own bed. Then just when I thought I was done and had time for myself, and after three girls, along comes the boys! #4 screamed ALL the time. He is a very strong willed boy and often times would scream unless I was holding AND walking him. If I stopped, it started, so he slept with us since that was the only way I could get sleep since he out willed me. I then was in an accident and at the E.R. they asked me if there was a possibility if I was p.g. I didn't think so, but had an odd feeling I should be checked. They told me no and did all the necessary tests that they needed. I still felt "odd". Anyway less than a week or two later I bought one of those over the counter tests and found out that 5 was on his way. So much for hospital accuracy!! Anyway, my sweetest baby was born this past July when I developed a problem during my p.g. and had to be induced. I was about 3 weeks early from my due date and to be honest since all my kids were about 2 weeks over, he was probably 5 weeks early. He was little little when I brought him home. My kids ranged from 7lb 6oz to 8lb 9oz and then this one was only 6 lb 5 oz at birth and 5lb 5oz when I brought him home scared me half to death. I put him in my bed immediately just so that I could hear him at night breathing. He sleeps next to me (either side) and my husband sleeps on the far side with a toddler bed set up next to the bed for my 2 y.o. Lately though the 2 y.o. has wanted to go to sleep next to me and once asleep we move him to the tot bed.
Sex? What is sex? lol, actually by the time we go to bed at night we are both so tired and with my accident last year it just isn't possible because of the exhaustion and the neck pain.
Anyway I love the cosleeping and I love the warm little one next me and being able to respond quickly to their needs. My 10 y.o. told me here while back that she wished she could sleep with me again. That sweet little thumb sucker (well actually not anymore, but it was cute when she was a baby)
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#68 of 70 Old 01-25-2005, 03:04 AM
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we have a queen size bed, my husband refuses to put the mattress on the floor, though. since we both sleep with a lot of covers, we decided it'd be best to get an Arm's Reach mini co-sleeper and sidecar it on my side of the bed. i love it! i love tucking her into it, i love snuggling up next to it and laying my hand on her to sleep. i love listening to all her "puppy snuffles" and i especially love how in tune we are, i wake up just as she's waking up wanting her middle-of-the-night feeding, so she never gets a chance to cry. i can't imagine sleeping in a separate room from her!! when she needs comforting - or heck, when *i* need comforting! - i bring her into bed with me and she sleeps in the crook of my arm. when i need to wrap up in the covers again, i return her to her lil' bed. she snuggles into it, then gradually skootches over so she's closer to me, and falls asleep with a smile on her face i wish we could have the mattress on the floor for when she gets older, but my husband won't bend on that one. so we'll probably bring the crib in, remove the front and sidecar that. i love love love co-sleeping!!

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#69 of 70 Old 01-26-2005, 10:32 PM
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We knew we would cosleep long before ds was born. It wasn't even really a question for us. We have a full futon mattress on the floor. Initially ds used to sleep right next to me if he was swaddled or else on dh's chest. For some reason he never liked to sleep on my chest. Too bumpy I guess After we started putting him to sleep on his tummy, he really spreads out his arms and doesn't like to be touched when he's sleeping. He was taking up about half the bed and dh and I were really cramped. Two weeks ago we started sleeping sideways on the bed with our legs sticking off the end. Since the mattress is only 3" high this works well for us. It's like having a king-sized bed without spending any money! With this new arrangement, there's about a foot of space between me and ds. This is important for us because he's a really light sleeper. Ds wakes frequently in the night, which we're working on. I'm trying to do some of the things in the No-Cry Sleep Solution. Right now I'm trying to stick to a good bedtime routine and an earlier bedtime for ds. He's really come to associate taking a bath with going to bed and the last three nights he's only woken 3-4 times. We've got our fingers crossed.
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#70 of 70 Old 01-27-2005, 12:37 AM
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I am embarrassed (and kind-of ashamed) to share this here, but I am hoping that some new lurking mama who is on the borderline of joining us will read this, to help her make wiser decisions....

I started out an uneducated mother...what I mean is that I was very educated in the mainstreamed ideals of parenting (I read all the mags and several common books pre-baby), but I was very uneducated in natural alternatives to the mainstream. I knew about AP but it was limited to the short vague segments (albeit surrounded by non-AP advice and articles) in one or two of the mags.
So, to put it simply, I was a mainstreamed new Mom who was clueless to any other way of parenting than the one I grew up with.

We started out with a bassinet at the foot of the bed, which I felt the need to shine a flashlight on and check on dd often throughout the night for those rare times when I wasn't sitting on the side of the bed nursing her (, we would have all slept better if I just kept her with me in bed).

Then we moved dd to a crib in her own room, where I spent most of my nights holding dd in the rocking chair and nursing her. Although the dr., mags and books (those dreadful What to Expect books) were telling me to let her cry, I would not and could not do it. That was the beginning of my realization that maybe, just maybe, all those "experts" were wrong.

After 1 year of exhausting nights spent mostly in the rocking chair in dd's room, one night (while dh was away on a trip) I woke up sensing something was wrong, so I went to dd's room to check on her. As soon as I entered her room, she was silently (and intently) hanging on the edge of the crib rail and, before I could get to her, she fell right on top of her head onto our hard wood floor! I screamed, she laughed (she still is a little daredevil). She was fine, but the next day the crib was disassembled and put in storage.

From that night on we co-slept. We bought dd a cute toddler bed, because others advised us to (again it hadn't totally sunk in yet, and I had no support), but she wasn't interested and I didn't push it (I actually enjoyed having her sleep with us, a totally foreign concept to me except for what I had learned in college about other cultures around the World but "not my culture" ). I didn't (and don't) blame her for wanting to sleep surrounded in the comfort and security of her parents.

So here we are, still in the family bed 8 (or 7, technically) years later. Dh and I are in no rush to push her out, nor do we have any plans to. When she wants to sleep in her own bed, she will. She will grow up fast enough. There is no way I am going to watch my little girl go off the college one day and say to myself "I wish I would have...". This time is precious and now, finally, I know better.
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