Let's share our co-sleeping stories! - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 01-01-2005, 11:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
The Lucky One's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 2,429
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was recently talking to another member about co-sleeping. She doesn't co-sleep and doesn't know much about it. She has read all the literature, but she wonders how it translates over into real life. Also, she has questions about transitioning kids into their own beds/rooms and also questions about how couples maintain intimacy.

So, lets tell her our situations.

As for me, I currently co-sleep with my ds1 (he'll be 3 in 10 days) and my ds2 who is 7.5 months. We sleep on a king and queen size mattress on the floor. Both kids have never slept anywhere but the family bed. We are planning a third child to be born when ds2 is around age 2.5. Ds1 would be 5 by that time. If he hasn't asked to be in his own room by then, I will gently start moving him in that direction. Because both boys are restless sleepers, I couldn't imagine sleeping with both of them and a newborn.

As far as intimacy goes, who has time for that....lol! No, really, we have more than one bedroom and we use our 'real' master bedroom for that after the kids are asleep. We've also used the couch, the floor, and other places .

For me, co-sleeping has been a blessing. Both of my kids are restless sleepers and wake frequently at night. I couldn't imagine having to get up to settle them every time they awoke. It's nice just to pat their back or nurse them and then drift right back to sleep. And of couse, I love hearing them breathe at night. I just couldn't imagine not having them with me.

So that's my story, or part of it anyway.

What's yours?

eta: I thought I might add what our actual sleeping arangement is. Like I said we have a king and queen mattress on the floor. One side is against a wall. Baby is next to the wall and then me. We are on the king. Then ds1 and dh (when he sleeps with us) is on the queen.

~lisa~mama to 3 boys (1/02, 5/04, 12/06)
The Lucky One is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 01-01-2005, 11:42 PM
 
Bearsmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 4,628
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Great thread, TLO!

Here's mine:

When I was pregnant with DS #1, I knew of the benefits of co-sleeping. We have good friends who co-slept with both of their children, so it was not a foreign concept for us. I knew I wanted him to be close to me at night. We purchased a co-sleeper, thinking he would happily sleep there-within inches of me. WRONG! DS wanted NOTHING to do with the co-sleeper. So, from day one, DS slept right smack dab in the middle of the bed, with DH and I on either side. This was the ONLY place he would ever sleep (besides on me for naps during the day). And, b/c DS#1 was basically a non-sleeper for all of his babyhood, this was the only way I could even get an 1-2 hours straight. Obviously, this was the best way for us to nurse, too.

So, I never intended for us to have a family bed. It was just the only place we all found any peace at night. We had a crib which was never, ever used with DS#1.

When I was pregnant with DS#2, I just knew that he would sleep with us. There was no worrying about where or how he would sleep. And luckily, he's a pretty solid sleeper at night-even at this tender age (I feel SOOOO lucky about this). We actually never dismantled DS#1's crib. So, during the day, DS#2 is very happy to take naps in it. This BLOWS ME AWAY! To think that I gave birth to a child who likes to have some sleeping time out of my arms is just amazing. At night, the baby gets tucked in under my right arm, while my bigger boy is between DH and me. BTW, we have a queen bed. And I have a 6 foot 3 inch DH. And I'm currently trying to shed a lot of baby weight. So, yes, it's crowded.

Co-sleeping has not been w/out it's challenges. We've had many. With a frequent waker (my older boy) it's been rough. It's usually great now, but I've had many moments over the past 3 years that I've wanted him out of my bed (we do have a twin bed in his official bedroom that we refer to as his special bed-which he has never slept in!). The bottom line is that we never intended this, it's just been what's gotten us all through. And mostly unscathed. There's nothing better for me that slipping into a warm bed with my whole family surrounding me. Especially when I've had some trying times with my 3 yo since the baby's been born. It's a place where we can all connect, even if we've had a "disconnected" kind of day.

And sex? Well, yes, it's made an impact on our love life. I'm not going to say it hasn't. And yes, there are other rooms and other beds. But sometimes I DO miss my DH. Yes, we can have sex other places. But I do sometimes miss the intimacy of snuggling together, just the two of us.
And YES, I still feel that this is the right thing for our family...

Probably WAY TMI!
Bearsmama is offline  
Old 01-01-2005, 11:53 PM
 
USAmma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Arizona
Posts: 18,573
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
When I was pg with Abi I had no clue what I wanted to do. Except we didn't have much money so I bought a pack and play instead of a crib. She slept in that for awhile, but had reflux and ended up sleeping in her carseat instead. The carseat was placed in the bassinet of the pack and play, which was placed next to our bed.

When I was trying to nurse without success it was suggested that I sleep next to her skin to skin, so that's what started cosleeping. I'm still trying to get her out of our bed, at age 4. :LOL Honestly if she didn't kick in her sleep I would enjoy her being in our bed still.

With Nitara I wanted my options open because Abi is a terrible sleeper. The first year was awesome, wonderful, but then she started kicking and dh and I got sleep deprived. She's still a poor sleeper and rarely sleeps through the night. We moved her to her own room at age 2.5 but she mostly just falls asleep there and then comes to our room in the middle of the night.

Anyway so with Nitara I got a cosleeper and that worked great until our waterbed broke and we got rid of the frame. Our bed is on the floor so what good is a cosleeper? After she was dx with reflux we bought a crib so we could elevate the mattress. She used to start off in the crib, and then come to bed with us. Now she pretty much prefers her crib unless she's sick.

This coming week we are getting the flooring in our home replaced. So we have our bed on the floor, Abi's bed at the foot of our bed, and Nitara's crib all crammed into our bedroom. Gives a new meaning to family bedroom!

Darshani

7yo: "Mom,I know which man is on a quarter and which on is on a nickel. They both have ponytails, but one man has a collar and the other man is naked. The naked man was our first president."
 
USAmma is offline  
Old 01-02-2005, 12:09 AM
 
Childishgoth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,065
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Question? where exactly does your child sleep when you co sleep? my mil almost freeked out when she saw me sleeping with my 4m old because he sleeps RIGHT next to me. I mean we nurse almost all night so we both just kind of sleep like that.
it didnt seem strange to me or my husband. im not a roller or a kicker, im a very "calm" sleeper, and also a very very light sleeper. (we use to share our bed with a 2 1/2 lb dog and i would wake up at her every squeek)
anyways, my mil said she always thought we had a place for the baby in the middle of the bed away from us.

just made me wonder.. where does everyone elses baby sleep?
Childishgoth is offline  
Old 01-02-2005, 12:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
The Lucky One's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 2,429
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Good, childishgoth, I'm glad you asked a question! That's what I wanted this thread to be about. I wanted people to share stories and others to chime in with questions.

My ds1 was such an active sleeper (and still is!!!) that he was ALL over the bed from the minute he was able to roll over.

My ds2 OTOH, sleeps right at breast level and always has. He nurses, mostly while I'm asleep, and then unlatches and goes back to sleep right there. I'm just careful not to pull the blanket up too high. Some people I know nurse the baby and then scoot them up to the top of the bed, but I'm asleep by that point in the game.

~lisa~mama to 3 boys (1/02, 5/04, 12/06)
The Lucky One is offline  
Old 01-02-2005, 12:21 AM
 
dharmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Savoring the perfect moments
Posts: 5,270
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We've been co-sleeping with our 6.5 mo dd since day one (co-slept in the hospital). We got a hand me down co-sleeper that she really never slept in. Felt too far away when she was so teeny-tiny. Also had a snuggle nest that she was in for all of ten minutes.

DH was a little bit hesitent about it...was very nervous about rolling on her...but I actually think he is more aware of her then I am some nights!

We don't own a crib but we have a PNP set up in our room. Some nights (when we need some quality adult time ) we put her in there to start the night and then we bring her in with us.

Quote:
just made me wonder.. where does everyone elses baby sleep?
When she was newborn she slept on me. I propped myself up with MANY pillows and she slept on my chest.

When she got too heavy to be on me, she started sleeping next to me. Before she was rolling around so much, we had her up on a pillow between us. We've also had her sleep on top of the covers (with her own blanket) between us.

Now she's flat on the bed, using our covers, and I switch her side to side in the night as we nurse.

We need a bigger bed but I just LOVE co-sleeping!! DH has totally come around and really enjoys co-sleeping too! I when I hear him talking about how great it is to other people.
dharmama is offline  
Old 01-02-2005, 12:22 AM
 
Bearsmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 4,628
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
TLO-Same here. DS#2 sleeps right at breast level, latching on and unlatching when he wants to. I am a calm sleeper and so is he. DS#1, OTOH, is all over the bed. So that's why he's away from the baby.
Bearsmama is offline  
Old 01-02-2005, 12:53 AM
 
broodymama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Watching the rain
Posts: 7,286
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
I had heard of co-sleeping (here on MDC) before DS was born but didn't plan on doing it myself. We bought a Pack-n-Play to set up in our bedroom and planned on DS sleeping there for the first few months.

When DS was born (hospital birth), I took one look at the basinet (looked like a tupperware box) they had in my room and brought him into the bed with me, he was only in the basinet when I was in the bathroom. When we brought him home the only way he would sleep for the first two weeks was on my or DH's chest, so this changed our plans a little. Every time we tried to put him down in the PnP to sleep he would immediately wake up and we never even tried to put him in the crib. After 2 weeks he started sleeping on his back some, between us in the bed. Then I learned how to nurse lying down and we never looked back. The PnP is in the closet and occasionally one one of the cats sleeps in the crib.

(nak now)
we have a king size bed for me, dh, ds and 7 cats. ds sleeps either between me and dh or between me and the edge of the bed, depending on which side he nursed on last. once he's done nursing he unlatches, rests his cheek on my boob and falls asleep. he usually sleeps at breast level, tucked right up against me belly to belly. occasionally i will slide him up higher in the bed when he's done but not all the time. i only pull the covers up high enough to cover his legs, if i'm really cold i'll scoot him up and pull the covers up higher over me. when he is up higher in the bed i slide my pillow behind me so it's not near him. right now i have a bedrail on my side but i really don't like it, it doesn't go up high enough for the thick pillow-top mattress. i've ordered a snug-tuck pillow for my side and if i like it then i will order another one to go across the top of the bed so he doesn't get caught between the mattress and headboard. (he's not mobile yet.)

i really love cosleeping, i can't imagine doing it any other way. we all sleep great at night. i mean really sleep great, not the "tell your friends your child sleeps great but he really doesn't or cries himself to sleep" kind of sleep great. i've also been blessed with a wonderful sleeper, as long as he is with me.

there's nothing in the world better than waking up to a smiling, happy baby in the morning!

Chaotic uc.jpg homeschool.gif mama to 5 plus a bonus one on the way.  stork-suprise.gif

chicken3.gif

broodymama is offline  
Old 01-02-2005, 01:10 AM
 
USAmma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Arizona
Posts: 18,573
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Abi has to push her body right up next to someone. Nitara spreads her body out in an X and gets as much room to herself as she can.

7yo: "Mom,I know which man is on a quarter and which on is on a nickel. They both have ponytails, but one man has a collar and the other man is naked. The naked man was our first president."
 
USAmma is offline  
Old 01-02-2005, 01:19 AM
 
the_lissa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,838
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It is funny. I thought that I would hate cosleeping before dd was born. I knew I would cosleep at first because I didn't think a newborn should be alone in a crib or cradle. I thought for sure she would be in her crib by six weeks or so. :LOL
I never moved her. I love cosleeping. It makes nursing so much easier. I don't even wake up for feedings most of the time. DH tells me stories of dd lifting up my shirt and latching on. Sometimes he helps her if she is having trouble. I shouldn't even wear a shirt to bed I suppose. DD sleeps between DH and I, and naps in our bed either alone or with us.

We have a very active sex life- usually 5 or so times a week. We just have sex in other parts of the house. Some people have sex with the baby next to them, but I can't relax enough to get in the mood, let alone do anything if I am right next to her.

Hmmm, what else? I don't see us moving dd any time soon. I think when we do, we will transition slowly- like put her in her own bed, but in our room at first. I have a feeling she might start cosleeping again if we have another baby if she isn't still cosleeping at the time. We will just have to figure out how to cosleep with two. Any parents cosleeping with two- I would love some tips?

Jam 7, Peanut Butter 5, and Bread 2.

the_lissa is offline  
Old 01-02-2005, 01:39 AM
 
charmarty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: desperately seeking SPELLCHECK!!
Posts: 4,594
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We are also a co-sleeping family Dh sleeps during the week in his own bed in th eMbedroom cuz there is a shower in there and this way he will not wake us up at 5 am
Our *snuggle room* as we call it looks like this,
King size matress and twin matress right beside it. On the florr, and wall to wall. We lay in bed like this, DD(4),ME,DD(4). We actually sleep closer than that but I had o add the comma so you woul dknow who I was referring to I am still nursing them to slepp but they have night weaned (finally) They too are very frequent night wakers and I too am SO happy to be there for them especially during this stage of night time fears of monsters. When it comes time for them to sleep on thier own, I know I will have a hard time of it, so, I will just have to sneak in an dsleep on the floor before they wake to see me
Seriously though, we had a house fire 1 year ago, and it really has made me VERY thankful I sleep that close to my children.

Dh and I GIO when they are asleep. We just go to the masterbedroom, or wherever strikes our fancy. We draw the line at our neighbours back yard tho. Especially when they are home


I LOVE co sleeping!!!



LAte one night, when were supposed to be alseep, my sweet little dd asked who some kids aren't so lucky to sleep with thier mom and dad's
charmarty is offline  
Old 01-02-2005, 02:22 AM
 
guestmama9915's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,341
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Great thread. I never intended to co-sleep. I knew nothing of AP or parenting or anything before I had my DD, I read all the pregnancy books but never thought to go beyond that. :LOL We inherited a bassinet from DH's grandparents, and that's where DD was supposed to sleep. But, after having a HORRIBLE birth experience in the hospital because I got an epidural (a story for another time, I didn't want one but got pressured repeatedly by nurses) which messed me up and anytime I was not laying down I had really awful neck cramps, headaches, and vomiting. So basically I was confined to my bed for 2 weeks, and the only way to nurse DD was with her laying next to me.

Once I was feeling better she did start out the night in her bassinet, but by her first waking I'd sleep with her on the floor the rest of the night, and after a week or two of that, the bassinet just went into the closet. Ever since, DD has been in the bed with me. DH slept with us to begin, but as DD has gotten older, she is the biggest bed hog and DH is sleeping on the couch now. BUT, we are *finally* getting a twin bed to push against our double this month.

As to where DD sleeps, she's all over the place. She rolls around a LOT, she does 180s in her sleep, she sleeps on TOP of me a lot, you name it. We got a crib at our baby shower which she's never slept in but we sidecarred it a few months ago. She slept in it once then, but dived into me in the middle of the night and gave us both big bumps on the head. But it's a nice place for all the stuffed animals people keep giving us. :LOL
guestmama9915 is offline  
Old 01-02-2005, 02:25 AM
 
thorn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Alpharetta, GA
Posts: 2,375
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyBug & BabyBug
ds sleeps either between me and dh or between me and the edge of the bed, depending on which side he nursed on last. once he's done nursing he unlatches, rests his cheek on my boob and falls asleep. he usually sleeps at breast level, tucked right up against me belly to belly.
that is how my dd sleeps exactly

we have a co-sleeper against my side of the bed so I don't worry about either of us falling off. we are currently using our full sized bed but our brand new queen size is being delivered on tuesday!!

I wear button down pajamas, unbuttoned, to bed. that way she can nurse and I can still be half covered so I don't freeze. as far as GIO, we have only done it once PP, but we just took advantage of her napping in her swing and GIO in our bed.

Christine, mom to C(7.5) - E(5) - J(3) - B(10 mos)

Doula, childbirth educator, Co-leader of ICAN of Atlanta

 

"Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it." ~Anonymous

thorn is offline  
Old 01-02-2005, 03:23 AM
 
eminer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,473
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Before dd was born, I felt like I should try putting her in the bassinet to avoid the infinitessimal risk of "overlying" her. But as soon as dh's sister brought the bassinet over, I had a very bad feeling about it. I cried. I tried to position it different ways relative to our bed, but no matter which way I faced it, it felt like an intolerable barrier between me and dd. Dd was born, the mw suggested keeping dd in bed to nurse, and that was all the "excuse" I needed to abandon the bassinet to the noble function of displaying all the cute useless toys people had given dd.

At first I tended to wake up, nurse on both sides, change her diaper, and put her down to sleep a little way from my body. Pretty quickly I learned to nurse half-asleep, and dh did most of the diapers. After that dd and I were usually right next to each other, facing each other on our sides.

Intimacy: I think in the very beginning (well, after a generous waiting time after birth :-)), before getting the bassinet back to dh's sister, we put her in there. We had a twin bed in the spare room which we would sometimes use or put dd on for a little while. Eventually we had a small stack of blankets on the floor we could put dd on (also useful for mobile nap use).

Dd nursed any number of times a night, in cycles, until she was 20-something months old (before turning 2). Then there came a time when she would get really restless in the middle of the night and cry, but reject the breast, until I moved far away from her in bed. Then she settled down and slept, all sprawled out. So we brought the spare twin bed into our room and started putting her down there at night. She came into bed with us to nurse after this initial period of a few hours' sprawled out sleep, and I don't know how much she nursed after that, but there was at least a long nursing/cuddling time in the morning. The few hours got longer, and the nursing seemed to turn into just once very early.

Dd - now 3yo - outgrew the restlessness, and now she more often comes to bed with us awake. So the twin bed only gets used if dh and I want to move her there for intimacy. She doesn't really nurse at night anymore. My milk dried up early in pregnancy, and I was sore/irritable, so I tried to help her learn to fall asleep lying next to me instead of nursing (she was well down that road anyway, so it was easy). Some nights we all get in bed and read, then turn out the light and go to sleep together. Dd will occasionally wake up and mumble incoherently about a dream, then easily return to sleep with her neck resting on dh's or my arm. She doesn't seem to miss the nursing or question the extreme brevity of it (encouraged by me), but I suspect that when the baby comes she will spend plenty of time in bed with us nursing. We sleep on a queen mattress on the floor, so it should be cozy.

Oye Yemaya oloto
eminer is offline  
Old 01-02-2005, 03:25 AM
 
starlite's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Australia
Posts: 334
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This is an awesome thread, The Lucky One. Thankyou!!!

Couple of questions;

I fear co sleeping because I am a really heavy sleeper and I flail and kick in my sleep. Any co sleeping mums/dad's like me? How did you overcome the 'fear' of rolling onto your babes?

My fears are borderline neurotic as my Great Grandmother was Ukrainian and in camps during the war with 7 small children of her own. She told us tales of a small bedroom that 2-3 family's would live in and co sleeping was the only option. Unfortunately, she suffocated her new born when she rolled over in her sleep. This makes me extra nervous as I know I'm a deep and fretful sleeper. Obviously, they would not have had alot of room with mamma and 7 children in one bed - so I know my fears are a little over board.

This thread is wonderful!

Most people here illustrate that co sleeping just comes naturally for their families. Are there any that stuggled to establish their co sleeping arrangement? My ds hated being in bed with us all night - sad for us really but we didn't push the issue. Any other children like this that have since settled down in the family bed? If so - how did you overcome such 'rejection'?

Also - did any one have a husband reluctant to try co sleeping???

Lastly - thankyou for starting this thread for me!!! Thankyou all for being so open in this discussion. I finally understand the intimacy thing now - can't believe how silly I was not to have figured that out for myself but I was really baffled by this and dh had me convinced it would be nearly impossible to do. :LOL

I love these stories - and I have read every one of the above posts. It's so refreshing to be able to discuss this with parents happy with the co sleeping arrangements as all my IRL co sleeping friends loathe it! Sounds nice to me though - but hard to get my head around how it works in reality. All you mamma's are fantastic!!! Thanx so much.
starlite is offline  
Old 01-02-2005, 03:33 AM
 
the_lissa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,838
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by starlite
This is an awesome thread, The Lucky One. Thankyou!!!

Couple of questions;

I fear co sleeping because I am a really heavy sleeper and I flail and kick in my sleep. Any co sleeping mums/dad's like me? How did you overcome the 'fear' of rolling onto your babes?

I sleep deeply. I slept through my house being burglarized and various fire alarms.

I just remembered actually being really worried at first, and never getting any sleep because I would never really let myself fall asleep so DH would take DD and they would sleep on the couch. I think I just got so exhausted that I started to accidentally fall asleep, and i didn't hurt the baby, and I was fine.

Jam 7, Peanut Butter 5, and Bread 2.

the_lissa is offline  
Old 01-02-2005, 03:36 AM
 
eminer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,473
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
starlite, I don't flail, but I'm a heavy sleeper. Dh occasionally had to wake me up when dd was crying right next to me at night. But it seemed like my body was aware of dd while I slept.

Oye Yemaya oloto
eminer is offline  
Old 01-02-2005, 03:39 AM
 
eminer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,473
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by the_lissa
I slept through my house being burglarized and various fire alarms.
I was always pretty disturbed when other people in my college dorm told me about the fire drill the previous night. I heard the alarm once in the day time, and it was quite loud and persistent. I don't know what would have happened to me if there had been a real fire!

ETA: Dd has helped me learn to sleep more lightly, and go in and out of sleep more easily, which is nice.

Oye Yemaya oloto
eminer is offline  
Old 01-02-2005, 03:46 AM
 
starlite's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Australia
Posts: 334
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by eminer
I was always pretty disturbed when other people in my college dorm told me about the fire drill the previous night. I heard the alarm once in the day time, and it was quite loud and persistent. I don't know what would have happened to me if there had been a real fire!

ETA: Dd has helped me learn to sleep more lightly, and go in and out of sleep more easily, which is nice.
That sounds like something I would do too. I've slept through alarm clocks and ringing phones - I'm dead when I'm asleep and it takes me hours to wake up properly.

Good to know that the body adjusts to co sleeping - just have to trust that next time round and try it for myself. Thanx! I was beginning to think co sleeping was for the light sleepers only :LOL Glad to hear us logs could do it too!!
starlite is offline  
Old 01-02-2005, 05:38 AM
 
SEEPAE's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 4,655
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
ohh totally the body adjusts! cause Ive been co-sleeping with DS almost 18months(hes almost 18months old, LOL) and I sleep through my alarm clock and so does he, I sleep through men banging on the house with hammers right outside my window- so does he, I sleep through my mom closing my door every morning- so does he, but if he takes 1 shallow breath I JUMP awake and grab him and make sure he is ok :LOL
SEEPAE is offline  
Old 01-02-2005, 06:06 AM
 
blessedwithboys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,561
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 19 Post(s)
i'm mostly lurking here...i cosleep with all of my kids, baby right next to me, but i wanted to address what a pp said about overlaying...

to the best of my knowledge, it is nearly impossible to do this. nearly, not totally. i do not think it is inherently unsafe for older siblings to share the bed, but it does raise the risk slightly, as it is usually only mother who is "in tune" w/db's sleep cycles. overlaying is also associated with some sort of substance use in mothers, like perhaps a drink or two in the system dulling the senses...although i don't know how likely that would have been in the middle of the war; if alcohol would have even been available? and the other situation that comes to mind, and this is the most likely scenario when taking into account the wartime living conditions, is that a sick baby may not be able to signal to a mother that a blanket or boob is over the face. my dc's were all healthy fat newbies. whenever the blanket went over the face, they kicked and writhed until i moved it, which was basically done immediately and semi-concsiously by me. so perhaps the pp's account was about a sickly baby and that detail was maybe not passed through the years?

anyway, if i've said something wrong, LMK. just wanted to add this so someone new to co-sleeping wouldn't be scared by the idea of over-laying.

oh, wanted to add too that maybe a new mom CS'ing w/her first baby would want to avoid putting db on a pillow on the bed, or on a stack of blankets... just til you got really used to it; to how your baby moves and the noises s/he makes in his/her sleep...

Bring back the old MDC
blessedwithboys is online now  
Old 01-02-2005, 09:25 AM
 
starlite's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Australia
Posts: 334
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Dear Blessedwithboys,

Thankyou for your thread; I know my fears are a little 'out there' and I would not want to scare anybody off co sleeping! The reassurance is awesome.

Yes - much of the story is lost to the ages and it is interesting you mention that the baby may have been sickly. My GG always claimed bub was healthy; but she did mention delivering the child on her own with just the help of her then eldest son (11). She said after 6 births she just automatically knew what to do - and it was do or die. I remember her mentioning that food was scarce and they would go for weeks without a morsel before they were in camp - so maybe she was malnourished during her pregnancy??? She is not a medical expert and I would not have a clue if the baby ever recieved a medical exam before it died in the 'refugee camp' she was talking about. Blessedwithboys is probably dead on with her hypothesis ... but like she said much of the story died with her and both my nanna and mother tell slightly different versions of it today.

Just a thankyou for sharing this with those who may have found it all a little off putting.
starlite is offline  
Old 01-02-2005, 10:59 AM
 
Mihelinka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,750
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I never planned on co-sleeping w/ ds. We bought the crib & expected him to be there. I also got a co-sleeper just in case :LOL we would want him closer when he was 1st brought home. Well he's never slept one minute in the crib! We had him in the co-sleeper & even w/ him being beside me I had to have my arm on him for him to stay asleep. I was nursing him every two hours sitting up in the glider, then tried nursing him sitting up in bed. I couldnt stay awake, was afraid i would drop him & was incredible sobby & miserable because I had no sleep. SO i decided to try to nurse him lying down in bed. It was not easy!! I had him on a pillow next to me so he could reach the boob. This worked out, I could finally rest- a little :LOL He's been there ever since. He just turned 12 months & the bed is now on the floor since he's mobile. I nurse him now only at naps & during the night, so co-sleeping is a necessity.

I have to say before ds was born, i had heard of cosleeping because a friend was doing it & i thought it was dangerous. When you're not IN the situation it is so easy to judge & think you know what your talking about!! Never say never right.
Mihelinka is offline  
Old 01-02-2005, 11:46 AM
 
Faithsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: on the funny farm
Posts: 1,815
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Believe it or not, my parents co-slept w/ us when we were babies... and even welcome both my brother and I into their bed in the middle of the night no matter what our age. I remeber being in middle school and having a bad dream and going in their bed. Sometimes, If I would call my mom in the night, she would come and sleep in my bed w/ me. Sometimes, we had all four of us in their bed... as older children and they only had a queen!!!
I had no problem deciding to co-sleep. Actually, it wasn't much of a choice since we only have one bedroom haha. I love it. I love knowing my DD is right beside me, safe and sound. She sleeps so much better when she is in bed w/ us. If she starts out in her crib she ALWAYS comes into our bed in the middle of the night. I pull her crib right up against my bed. Even when she's not in it. That way I'm not afraid of her falling off of the bed.
Faithsmom is offline  
Old 01-02-2005, 12:32 PM
 
jasperab's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Look up..way up...
Posts: 364
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well we are officially now full time co-sleeping and this was my little buttons decision. She has always been a restless sleeper and spent part of the night in our bed (her crib is in our room) but got sick over the holidays and now refuses to sleep in her bed. My first always slept in her bed and never really liked sleeping with us, but this one is different. We have settled in despite the fact we have a small bed and neither one of us worry about smothering or rolling over on her. I worked a full week last week instead of my usual part-time hours and I was amazed how common place co-sleeping is with the women I work with and even some of my customers that it came up with. The typical response was that you all might as well get some sleep then constantly get up a night. A very practical point of view. As far as finding private time with my DH, we find various times and various places in the house.
jasperab is offline  
Old 01-02-2005, 03:00 PM
 
guestmama9915's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,341
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I move a lot in my sleep, too. I guess that's where DD gets it from! :LOL But as a new mother, I found myself waking up severely achy from staying in one position at night. You just "know" your baby is next to you. But I also slept a lot lighter. It took a while for me to sleep more deeply again, and when DD was about 2 months old I found that I was sleeping on top of her some nights. Which kinda freaked me out!! :LOL But I'm not a very heavy person and she seemed to welcome it, so we sleep all over each other now (she's 9 months old) and that's just fine. I love waking up next to my daughter. She wakes up earlier than I want to and will usually snuggle/nurse for a while, but when she's ready to get up she starts poking me and hitting me. It's so cute, though. I love to wake up next to her big smiles when I finally decide to open my eyes.

I do miss sleeping with DH, but he comes in and snuggles with us in the mornings. We have lots of time during the evenings when DD goes to sleep to do our own thing, too, if we wanted. We usually end up playing games online, though.
guestmama9915 is offline  
Old 01-02-2005, 04:15 PM
 
spirit4ever's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Montreal, Canada
Posts: 1,220
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
our family bed is like this....ds (2 1/2), me, dh. Then as the night goes on ds and I switch places quit often b/c I'm due in 2 weeks and sometimes need some space. However, ds loves to nurse and sleep tucked under my arm and would stay like that all night if I let him. I'm not sure how's it going to go in a few weeks though... I plan on co-sleeping between ds#1 and the new baby, hopefully all will work out. Dh will probably go sleep is the 'other' room for a while. I also have a bed rail on the side that ds sleeps on, I'm enjoying it b/c it allows me to lean up against it while nursing/sleeping and being hugely pregnant!! I also have a King, I would love to put a single with it but our room is not big enough. We do have a double mattress in (what's supposed to be) ds room, however the dog has claimed that bed!!

Mom to Ds1 (8 1/2) Ds2 (6) Dd (2 1/2)!!!!
spirit4ever is offline  
Old 01-02-2005, 07:13 PM
 
richella's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: middle of nowhere, KS
Posts: 2,123
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I didn't know about cosleeping when rowan was born, but I just knew that hospital bassinet was too big and cold and lonely for a baby so fresh out of the womb. Did there used to be some idea that it's bad to sleep with children? I seem to have some vague anxiety about it in the back of my head but there was no way I was going to let some idea I couldn't even remember who told it to me override my instinct/intuition that the best-- only-- place for her was in my arms. I didn't know what they would think about it in the hospital but I figured if anybody said anything I would say that I was nursing and we both fell asleep. (I had a c-section anyway, I couldn't get up to put her in the bassinet if I wanted to!) Really I wanted dh in the bed too, but we were lucky he could stay in the room in another single size bed.

then she got infection and had to stay in the nursery for a few days. Right before we came home I got up the nerve to ask a nurse what she thought about sleeping with baby and she was totally in favor of it.

When we came home, I thought we wouldn't co-sleep because we have a full bed, so we put her in a cradle near the bed. Still, we would nap with her often, sometimes she would get passed from one to the other if we napped consecutively. It was fine for a couple weeks, but then she got colicky and the only way we could get her to sleep at night was between us in the bed, taking turns comforting her while the other slept. fortunately that didn't last long, but we haven't gone back to the crib. I'm trying to get her to accept it so we can have the option, so I put her in it if she's already sleeping well. Dh didn't want to cosleep at first, but he likes it now. We both agree though that we need a bigger bed! The cats would probably like that too.

One time dh woke up and found a cat sleeping with his head on Rowan's chest, body draped down between her legs. Sounds sweet, but we definitely don't encourage that. (the cats have a nice crib they can sleep in anyway! )

i'm curious about nursing while sleeping. I thought I might do that a lot, but it turns out I leak so much sometimes that I end up soaking wet, which is more annoying to me than sleeping in a bra. So i usually nurse sitting up, sometimes in a chair, even though we're both already in the bed. then i'm awake enough to wipe up and reassemble everything so I wake up dry. Anybody have better solutions to this?
richella is offline  
Old 01-02-2005, 08:18 PM
 
Childishgoth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,065
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
hi, i dont have time to read all the posts since my last post. I just wanted to saay thank you to all who shared. now i dont feel akward admitting how close my and my ds sleep next to one another -
Childishgoth is offline  
Old 01-02-2005, 08:49 PM
 
Childishgoth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,065
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
http://www.parenting.com/parenting/

dont forget to vote that co sleeping is okay
Childishgoth is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off