Why can't my baby fall asleep if she's not pulling my hair????? - Mothering Forums

Why can't my baby fall asleep if she's not pulling my hair?????

mely's Avatar mely (TS)
10:02 PM Liked: 0
#1 of 15
02-18-2005 | Posts: 282
Joined: Feb 2005
My beautiful 12 month old daughter has decided that in order to fall asleep she needs to be pulling my hair while nursing. This is not a nice feeling. Yes it has to be my hair - I've tried replacing it with a doll, a blanket, the cat - well not hte cat but you get the idea. It has to be my hair.

Today I tried unwrapping her fingers from their death grip on my hair - and she got VERY angry at me - she started to cry and she reached up and grabbed my hair as if to say - how dare you not let me pull your hair. <sigh>

It wouldn't be so bad but I have a lot of skin allergies and the skin on my head is in bad condition - it's very sensitive and I want to cry when she's pulling my hair - but she wont go to sleep any other way!

HELP! Any advice? Tips?
mommyofshmoo's Avatar mommyofshmoo
11:11 PM Liked: 0
#2 of 15
02-18-2005 | Posts: 1,405
Joined: Oct 2004
I wish I could help.

I've been trying to get my dd out of the habit of digging her finger in my belly button while she nurses for years.
bellee's Avatar bellee
11:42 PM Liked: 0
#3 of 15
02-18-2005 | Posts: 1,118
Joined: Feb 2003
Have you tried a nursing necklace? I wear one (well, did, but it broke due to all the pulling ) and DD loved it. You could make your own, there are several different styles but if she really likes that "hair" feel between her fingers, maybe you could just get a peice of leather for the necklace and tie strands of embroidy floss to it (so they hang like hair would), then seperate the strands. It may not be the most attractinve piece of jewlery you'll own but I bet it just might work
Leilalu's Avatar Leilalu
11:46 PM Liked: 176
#4 of 15
02-18-2005 | Posts: 7,801
Joined: May 2004
No help here, but wanted to chime in.Dd has to have her hand down my shirt, in my bra
Now, though I have gotten her to put her hand down the back of my shirt and now she rubs the tar out of my back instead, which-unlike the front actually feels nicerShe is two. I would say, s;owly try to seeif you can swithc her over to doing something else. With time it is possible.
ETW's Avatar ETW
01:34 AM Liked: 0
#5 of 15
02-19-2005 | Posts: 184
Joined: Feb 2005
My DS -- coming up on 12 months -- does the same thing. My hair is his security object and he seems to need to be twisting and pulling it most times that he falls asleep. I have had some success with placing a stuffed animal between us and encouraging him to manipulate that, but you said that hasn't worked for you. There are two other things I do that don't change the behavior, but make it feel better for me. First I think of how sweet it is that of all the things he could have chosen for a security object, he chose his mama's hair. Gives me warm fuzzies, but doesn't stop it from hurting. Second, instead of trying to keep my hair away from him, I section off a big chunk, hand him the bottom end and hold on to the top of it myself. This way his pulling doesn't pull on my scalp and if it does it is a big chunk which hurts less than individual strands. HTH.
duckat's Avatar duckat
03:17 AM Liked: 0
#6 of 15
02-19-2005 | Posts: 292
Joined: Jan 2005
I don't have this going on at my place, but a friend does. Her ds holds her hair while nursing and while sucking his thumb (which he does when unsure). She's started sectioning off a bit, putting a pony tail holder at the top, braiding a bit, then putting another holder about 3-4 inches from the end. A tad goofy looking, but it gives F. something to hold and keeps him from pulling and pulling. She keeps threatening to cut that hunk off and hand it to him .
bellee's Avatar bellee
03:23 AM Liked: 0
#7 of 15
02-19-2005 | Posts: 1,118
Joined: Feb 2003

great suggestions with the hair ladies

i remember the way my mom would brush my hair. she would grab a bunch and hold it tight near my scalp so it wouldn't hurt the ends when she brushed
mely's Avatar mely (TS)
06:21 AM Liked: 0
#8 of 15
02-19-2005 | Posts: 282
Joined: Feb 2005
Thanks gals - I might try sectioning off part of it.

I'm wondering if a nursing necklace would work if she usually eats lying down. I'll give it a try. Maybe I should just cut my hair off and give it to her... LOL
JillChristina's Avatar JillChristina
02:04 AM Liked: 0
#9 of 15
02-20-2005 | Posts: 654
Joined: May 2004
My dd's a hair twirler too. Not too long ago it was REALLY getting to me, especially in the middle of the night. I couldn't sleep while she was raking her fingers down my scalp. Out of desperation I just started removing her fingers from my hair. The first few times she was ticked off. But over time, she got less and less upset about it. She would roll over by her daddy and then back to me. I've recently noticed that she's really cut back on her middle of the night twirling. Now she just curls up in the small of my back and lays near my hair. She still likes to touch my hair when she's first falling asleep but she seems to be doing much better about not needing to touch it so much durning the night. So, maybe persistence is the key. I didn't want to make dd stop touching my hair altogether because I know it comforts her and she likes it. But it was driving me nuts and we had to find a compromise. I hope you can do the same!

Good luck,

bebe luna's Avatar bebe luna
03:00 PM Liked: 16
#10 of 15
02-20-2005 | Posts: 2,260
Joined: Nov 2001
My 11.5 mo ds has recently taken to pinching me while he falls asleep. He will grab on to any part of me that he can find some bare skin, and roll and pinch my flesh or skin between his thumb and pointer finger.
Usually it is painless, but sometimes it gets really annoying. I have also tried giving him a stuffed animal or blanket, and he will get really mad... cry and fuss.
No advise, just empathy
BetsyPage's Avatar BetsyPage
03:59 PM Liked: 27
#11 of 15
02-20-2005 | Posts: 1,360
Joined: Mar 2004
My dd used to ALWAYS need to pull my hair, but this has slowly decreased over the past couple of months, so it's only about half the time. I've contemplated getting her one of these: http://www.loveybabies.com/, a doll with human hair (my own), b/c I want to cut my hair & if it's shorter I get a sore neck from bending so she can reach my hair.
Lyci's Avatar Lyci
11:44 PM Liked: 0
#12 of 15
02-20-2005 | Posts: 196
Joined: Feb 2004
DS is also a hair puller and what I call a strummer. He pulls the hair taught and then strums it like a guitar. Not comfortable. :

I also do the same thing...
Originally Posted by ETW
Second, instead of trying to keep my hair away from him, I section off a big chunk, hand him the bottom end and hold on to the top of it myself. This way his pulling doesn't pull on my scalp and if it does it is a big chunk which hurts less than individual strands. HTH.
I am going to try the embroidery floss thing. God knows I have enough of it and it's worth a shot.
We tried the doll hair thing too, one of those really nice dolls with really pretty hair. Nothing, still wants mama. I'll look forward to following this thread.
bikruca's Avatar bikruca
11:49 PM Liked: 0
#13 of 15
02-20-2005 | Posts: 1,595
Joined: Mar 2004
My ds has to be touching my face, he loves pulling at my lips..

I dunno why I guess it is comforting
mely's Avatar mely (TS)
05:58 AM Liked: 0
#14 of 15
02-21-2005 | Posts: 282
Joined: Feb 2005
Well it is getting worse. For whatever reason - she crawls up to me in the morning and just starts yanking. It's the worst wake up call.

It could be worse - she also pulls dh's armpit hairs....
ShadowMom's Avatar ShadowMom
04:35 PM Liked: 16
#15 of 15
02-23-2005 | Posts: 4,264
Joined: Jun 2004
My DS has always had some sort of an obsession with my hair. He would just yank and yank and yank on it and pull it out in huge gobs.

Starting around 8 months of age, I resigned myself to the fact that there is apparently no replacement for mama's hair (and, it really is cute that the little guy is so attached to my hair) and started working with him. I really had to work with him to show him how to keep his hands soft, not pull, but he really learned pretty quickly. It just took a few weeks.

Now he won't go to sleep (if he's with me) without playing with my hair. And in the middle of the night he'll reach up and play with it.

He does the strumming like a guitar thing sometimes, but anymore he doesn't usually pull it hard when doing that so I let him.

So, I think it depends on how much your various DC like playing with hair. My DS did it constantly and I'm glad I taught him to play nice with it (although sometimes he forgets). My DH has long hair but he didn't like DS to mess with it, so he has taught him not to mess with his hair and been very successful by just removing his hands from it and telling him now.

Don't know if this helps anyone, but I just thought I would share my experience. I think it's really cute how much he likes my hair.
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