family bedroom... will baby wake toddler?? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 01-03-2003, 01:13 PM - Thread Starter
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Hi there

I have a question... we are going to have a new addition to our family any time soon (due date in 3 weeks).

My toddler sleeps with us in our big comfty bed, even though we got her own toddler bed at the foot of our bed (which she loves to play in and I would start off the night with her sleeping there and she would join us later in the night, but as my pregnancy progressed I wasn't too comfortable laying down with her in her bed so would let her continue to sleep with us and once in a while I or dh would carry her to her toddler bed). After a while we just gave up so dd still sleeps with us.

Our neighbor gave us an antique crib (narrow and wooden) and can fit snuggly between our bed and wall. My dd is so excited and says its for the baby. (funny thing she never slept in a crib). I asked her where her bed is, she was so puzzled.

Anyway... I decided to make room for all of us, I am going to put the toddler bed on one side of our bed then I can roll her over, and have the crib on the other side of the bed (since the baby will be so tiny not sure if I can trust first few weeks with toddler and baby together in family bed with us).

My neighbor asked me won't the baby keep my toddler awake in the night if I have to wake up to nurse her and with the babies hunger need etc. I've thought about it too, I know that nursing with babies in bed is easier and the whole family is not roused.

But wanted to ask others here. My dd still wakes up to ask to nurse in the night too so I know I will need to meet her need as well (she will be 3 in march).

Also dh and I are hard of hearing, we cant hear the babies cry and have a flashing system (which we hate but use). So much better with babies/toddler with us then they can tap us or we feel them moving about much earlier before the light signal goes off. I cant imagine having dd in another room and having two separate flashing to signal her cries and one to signal babies cries.

I like the idea of having a Family Bedroom too since the toys are separate. The playroom is for daytime and at night we all snuggle together in the same room and even same bed.

Sorry I rambled on here... my question is will my toddler get used to the baby crying and noises in the night? I know some couples found their babies too noisy and gave up cosleeping or having their babies in the crib in same room due to that. Dh sleeps wonderfully when baby in same bed as us as I can quickly nurse baby back to sleep (before flashing goes off). I assume my toddler will get used to it despite having good and sensitive hearing.

Dh thinks she will help us even to alert us when baby is crying, but I dont want her to lose sleep. I think she will sleep through if she is so tired. One time dh locked himself out and I couldnt hear doorbell and he rang and ranged for hours and my dd slept through it all. So I assume the same with the baby, toddler can tune out the noise?

Thanks for sharing.

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#2 of 7 Old 01-03-2003, 01:20 PM
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I suspect your toddler will wake your baby more often than the other way around.

OT -- but if you plan to use your crib at all, you should check to make sure it is up to current safety standards. An antique crib can be a death trap.

Good luck with your babies! You sound excited.
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#3 of 7 Old 01-03-2003, 02:49 PM
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#4 of 7 Old 01-04-2003, 07:12 PM
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We were worried about this too.

Fortunately, Tony never once woke Becca. I think toddlers are usually much better sleepers than we give them credit for ;-)

Our house is a one-bedroom so there is no option of moving a child to another room. Even if there was, I don't know that we would do it. Maybe now, since Becca has been sleeping alone for about 6 months now...but certainly not then.

I think kids are hard-wired for sleeping in a family situation, with others around, and will sleep through most things without a problem.

mama to Becca (2/1/00) and Tony (12/2/01)

Mama, homeschooler, midwife. DD (13yo), DS (11yo), DD (8yo), DD (3yo), somebody new coming in November 2013.

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#5 of 7 Old 01-04-2003, 08:45 PM
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Yeah, it seems I'm the only one who wakes up around here lol! At first Mason woke Gage and Maddie up, but now they sleep right through it.

They only woke up that first week then have been fine since.

Good luck!!

C ~ mama to (16), (13), (9) (5)

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#6 of 7 Old 01-06-2003, 10:43 AM
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I was surprised at how little they woke each other too.

It does really help if we have quite a bit of white noise- an air conditioner in the summer and humidifier in the winter. Just to cut down on waking from 4 people rolling around, getting up, ect.
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#7 of 7 Old 01-07-2003, 01:00 AM
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What amazes me is the small, odd sounds that can wake up my 3-year-old while he sleeps right through ds2 screaming at night. I think ds1 has some sort of brain registry that tells him if a sound is worth waking up to check on and somewhere he got the information (memory!?) that baby crying is okay.

I will say that more often than not, it is the other way around. Ds1 wakes up the baby thrashing around or talking in his sleep or something like that. For a while, it seemed like we had to employ a different system each night to meet the specific needs of that particular occasion. Sometimes, I nursed the baby while dh held the boy. SOmetimes, I nursed the boy while dh took the baby. We are still in the throes of musical beds, but if you stay committed and pragmatic, it should work out for you.

Best of luck!
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