I just need to get this out of my system - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 17 Old 01-06-2003, 03:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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UGH! Right now dh and I dread going to bed. Ds is 1 (almost!) and is working on his molars. I knew that it would suck, as the first 8 teeth did, but man oh man.

Ds will only nap if I hold him. Any attempt to lay him down (which involves both of us laying on the bed, then me gently rolling over and laying him down) ends up with a very unhappy baby or a baby that napped 10 minutes and is wide awake. I end up sitting on the couch holding him while he naps for 2.5 hours at a time. Can you say no life?

You'd think that the whole good nap therefore good bedtime sleep would apply after such long naps in mamas arms, but no. He will sleep in my arms after falling asleep, but not in my arms in bed. All night is spent every 1/2 hour to hour and a half with him moaning, crying, nearly crawling off the bed in his sleep, and me shushing him, trying to nurse him (which used to put him back to sleep but now he will nurse for 15 minutes, pop off and continue moaning), patting his back, holding him, and usually a couple times a night getting up with him (which is really hard to do when you are exhausted and the mattress is on the floor!) and pacing around the living room until he falls back asleep.

As an infant, he slept 5-7 hours in a row! How I long for those days! And I get crap from my family because he is sleeping with us - "if you had him in the other room then you wouldn't respond to his every moan, maybe he will just go back to sleep". But I do ignore him sometimes, and usually the moaning escelates to crying. Why not try to stop it when it first starts then? And if I can't lay him down gently next to me in bed, how in the heck am I supposed to lay him down in the crib, which is now lowered and impossible to lay a baby into without dropping him a couple inches because I am too short to even reach it!

And I can't seem to releive his teething - tylenol helps (which I try to give in moderation - I checked out an older edition of the Sears' Baby Book from the library and he seemed to thing that tylenol is pretty harmless, even suggested giving a double dose. : ) Anyway, homeopathic teething remedies don't seem to help at all, which is really frustrating, and it is impossible to put baby orajel anywhere near his mouth.

Dh and I are both exhausted and cranky because of it. I can't convince him to sleep occasionally in the other room to get a full nights sleep. Usually if he tries to carry ds, ds cries harder. Great.

a;jlksfjwpoaetihwalkvn;alvjapoeinfldk~!!~!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for letting me get this out.
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#2 of 17 Old 01-06-2003, 03:11 PM
 
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I'm so sorry! I kinda know what you mean though, as my DS hates naps and will only sleep for 15 min. at a time. I think it's becuase at night he usually falls asleep on my chest, and this is the only way he'll get good sleep.
Friday afternoon when I got home from work, he slept for 30 min. I looked up and saw how much time passed and I bolted for our room. He was sleeping soundly, much to my surprise. I'm sure it was a fluke though.
I agree with you, why ignore his beginnings of a cry, it'll only wake him up more to be ignored and have to go to full-out cry.
I wish I could say more to help!

Marcy
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#3 of 17 Old 01-06-2003, 03:12 PM
 
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,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
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#4 of 17 Old 01-06-2003, 03:14 PM
 
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Hugs to you...
We don't co-sleep so I have no idea what you are going through, except for the odd nights here and there...and after ONE night I have to have a nap in the day...ugh...

I suppose all you can do is look forward to the teeth coming in...hopefully you will get back to your normal sleep patterns...
Is there anyway you can sleep with him when you are on the couch holding him??

HUGS!!
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#5 of 17 Old 01-06-2003, 03:14 PM
 
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Oh I know your pain

nothing to say really except that you're doing a wonderful job and don't listen to advice along the lines of CIO. your baby needs you!

anytime i'm told to let dd sleep in her own room and cry a bit, I ask them "If you were feeling crappy and were hurting.. and wanted your loved ones to take care of you.. and they just left you in the bedroom to cry.. and you couldn't get up to get some water.. or read a book.. or whatever it was you thought would make you feel better.. How would you feel? Well, I don't want my child feeling that way"

they back off.

best of luck to you and your family!! hang in there!
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#6 of 17 Old 01-06-2003, 04:21 PM
 
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((((((((HUGS))))))))))

i know how you feel. We have those days. I tapped all over my house little signs saying "this too shall pass" My dh laughs. But, it helps.
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#7 of 17 Old 01-06-2003, 04:48 PM
 
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My 9 month old slept 4 hours straight from the time he was 3 mo until around 7 mo. For the past two months he was either teething or sick. Up every 30-60 minutes all night. No naps unless I held him. Finally, about 2 weeks ago, we started getting 3 hours, then 4, and now 5 hours straight.

Go to the library and gets some good books to read, videos, DVDs. If you're stuck on the couch anyhow, you might as well enjoy yourself.

Just telling you that long stretch DOES come back. My sympathies to you. I'm DREADING the molar time!

Good luck,

Mel
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#8 of 17 Old 01-06-2003, 08:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks mamas.

Do you ever get like a song or phrase stuck in your head? We have been watching the movie Dogma quite a bit lately, and at one point Ben Affleck's angel character is talking about how God created the angels to have a life of servitude, but humans can do what they want, and if an angel screws up just once he is banished from heaven but when humans screw up he shows "infinite f-ing patience". Yes, long intro, but for some reason that phrase is stuck in my head, and I repeat it to myself over and over when I am woken up for the 15th time and it is only 2am.....

For a few days he acted tired at his usual bed time of 8ish, but got re-invigorated nursing and stayed up playing until midnight. One of those nights he slept for 5 hours IN A ROW, but woke up for the day at 6am. Uh, thanks, I think!

What is really maddening is when he sleeps totally well in weird situations. We were in Cotsco with the in-laws, and he was really tired and crabby so dh ended up holding him and he fell asleep. His arms were killing him so we passed him to me (we have never done that before) and he let out a little cry and was back asleep. He ended up getting passed around like 3 more times as we walked around Costco. Yet I can't lay him down in our warm, dark cozy room with a water fountain burbling.
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#9 of 17 Old 01-07-2003, 09:24 PM
 
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owensmom

we too have been dealing with molars....I feel your pain! poor woman!!!!

here is my suggestion (for what it's worth) boil some chammomile tea, then dip a washcloth in it only halfway then stick the washcloth in the freezer....after it is frozen give DS the non-frozen end of it, let him suck and chew on that thing (make sure you have plenty of these prepared ahead of time, he may want more than one)

My ND suggested that while DD was getting teeth, it does help...plus chammomile is great for making one sleepy calm child....

other than that I don't really have any suggestions, except let your DH take care of him this coming weekend and take a long nap!!!! you sound like you need it, or if your DH is also frustrated, ask a grandma to take over for a few hours....
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#10 of 17 Old 01-08-2003, 02:18 AM
 
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((((((HUGS)))))))

I agree with the poster that it could be his ears.

We just went through that with ds who's never been a good sleeper, but add in the cutting of 4 molars in 1month, (which counts for 3,'cuz you have to count in the previous 2months!) and we got no sleep. Same story!

During this time,he got an ear infection...which we didn't know about...till his eardrum ruptured!

Obviously we felt horrible, but how could we tell? Most of the symptoms for ear probs are the same for serious teething!:

My dh has been taking the kids on the weekends till early afternoon, so I can sleep. That helps. A little.

Just think of the mommy badges you're earning now!LOL!

This too shall pass. Then it will come back. Then it will pass!!


Hang in there!!

mamapoppins
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#11 of 17 Old 01-08-2003, 12:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the ear suggestion. I think that at birth they should give all mom's an ear looker in thingy, and teach them how to use it. He does smack his ears sometimes, but he did that with the other 8 teeth too and it never was an infection or anything. He is due for a 1 year visit, but dh's company changed insurance and she isn't on "the list" - and since she is a naturopath they won't pay a cent unless she is on the list! I'm trying to work it out with her.... grrrr...

On a bright note, and probably jinxing it too, he has slept better the past couple nights. At least 2 hours at a time and usually easily soothed back to sleep. I think it is because he hasn't had is late afternoon nap he likes so much (he would often sleep from 4-6:30!). So at the risk of having a grouch for a few hours, I think I'll keep that up and see if it helps.

I did have to get up and walk around with him at one point at about 1am, for about 10 minutes, and when I got back in the room dh was snoring. : Too be sleeping is one thing, but snoring seems to be throwing it in my face!
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#12 of 17 Old 01-08-2003, 03:23 PM
 
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Owensmom--I could have written your first post! Olivia is almost 11mos and is working on her two top front teeth (she comes from a long line of late teethers) but the up and down and only sleeps in our arms....I spent two hours in the rocking chair last night, sleeping myself because she was fina and asleep as long as I held her swaddled in her favorite blanket.

I have wondered about the ear thing, but then I've read that most ear infections just need pain killer anyway and that any other treatment is over kill. And our well baby visits are covered but anything else costs $100 to see a doc.

rwikene--I'm going to try the tea on the frozen cloth, thanks.

adb252001--I think the signs are a great idea. They are going up this afternoon!
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#13 of 17 Old 01-09-2003, 01:43 AM
 
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owensmom-just KNOW that there are tons of other moms going through all this and I am one of them, too!! DS had gotten about 5 teeth in 7 weeks and now seems to be rubbing, rubbing, rubbing the back of his mouth. He won't let me fully inspect, but I'm guessing it's a molar coming in. The past few weeks in our house have not been pretty. And the past three nights have been awful. DH and I were almost at our wits end last night. DS was up like every 45 minutes (sleeps with us). I know he's in pain, but it's still rough. Especially b/c DS has had sleep issues from day ONE-so it's not like this rare occurence that we're up. He's almost 1 yo, and the past few days I've felt like I have a newborn in the house again.

And don't you just HATE it when people say "Oh, my baby didn't seem to mind getting teeth at all". Unbelievable!

Hope you get some relief soon. I find that I may have a few challenging nights with DS and then there will be a night like tonight (so far!) where he's only been up 3 times and I am getting some ME time in. Hang in there.
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#14 of 17 Old 01-09-2003, 12:01 PM
 
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I just wanted to say--we had a better night last night...or I was so tired i slept through everything . But I think it was better.
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#15 of 17 Old 01-09-2003, 01:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It is nice knowing that there are others, well, suffering right along with me! I can feel a big old tooth poking through on the bottom and another on the other side. Ouch!

For the third day in a row I have not allowed the late afternoon nap. He almost fell asleep with four pieces of cereal in his mouth in his high chair at about 6:45 last night! It was comical! I was afraid to put him to bed right then, as when I have always tried to put him to bed before 8 he ends up sleeping (or I guess napping) for an hour and is up again no matter what I do. So I got him to play for a bit, and he slept pretty good again. Well, until he decided to sit up at 5am and say Dada!! Dada!! I got up with him, and he fell asleep again by 6. Up again at 8. Darn, I was hoping we'd get up a lot later! Beggers can't be choosers I guess!

Now another hurdle... my parents are coming today.
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#16 of 17 Old 01-09-2003, 02:07 PM
 
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I love it when, after I've when up off and on with her all night she starts poking him and saying "dada!" If I just roll over and ignore it, he'll get up with her and I get an hour of pure sleep!

Good luck with your parents, owensmom!
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#17 of 17 Old 01-09-2003, 11:12 PM
 
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I just wanted to mention that it is not safe to use more than the recommended dose of tylenol. There are more and more cases of liver damage and liver failure resulting from using it. Perhaps because Dr. Sear's book is an older edition it mentions using more than the recommended dose. Please use with caution. Best of luck on getting a good night sleep too.. We have 2 little ones waking us up!
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