Dad rocks DS to sleep, mom does not ... healthy sleep habits... question? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 12-05-2005, 08:43 PM - Thread Starter
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I'm interested in getting some input. I don't have the Healthy Sleep Habits book, but I remember reading something when DS was a newborn that if you put the newborn to sleep a certain way (nursing, rocking, etc) that when they wake up and need to be "parented" back to sleep, they will expect the same method (nursing, rocking, etc) to get them back to sleep.

So here's my situation/question: DS is now 2 years old. DH puts him to sleep about half the time, and ALWAYS goes downstairs to the rocking chair to rock him to sleep. I put DS to bed the other 1/2 of the time, and I always just turn out the lights and lay down and let DS roll around until he finally falls asleep. DS always falls asleep quickly with DH and always takes a nice long time to fall asleep with me. He often asks me to sit in the rocking chair but I just say that when he's with me, we fall asleep in the bed upstairs. BUT, when DH rocks DS to sleep and then DS wakes up in the middle of the night and asks for me, he wants to go back down to the rocking chair where he originally fell asleep that night, but I make him stay in the bed and then it takes him forever to fall back asleep.

Are we making it difficult for DS to go to sleep and fall back asleep by having different bedtime rituals? It's not a huge huge issue for us, but I am just beginning to wonder if perhaps, even as a toddler, he expects me to put him back to sleep in the rocking chair, and some of this midnight frustration could be alleviated easily?

Thanks for any input,


Mom of (11/27/03) and (9/29/06).
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#2 of 3 Old 12-06-2005, 02:27 PM
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Hmmmm.... I think children can learn to be flexible, ie, know two ways of going to sleep. I don't think you are being unreasonable. My dd is younger than your ds, so I'm not there yet, but I do know what you mean about the patterns thing. I would guess (and it's just a guess!) that if you just keep telling ds 'I'm not rocking....' he'll learn how to fall asleep again without. OR what if your dh tries putting him to sleep without rocking? My dh has learned to love putting dd down because he sneaks in a nap for himself!!

My 2 cents for your question... Meg

Megan~ mama to Cecilia (9/1/04) Carl (11/19/06) Vivian (9/10/09) & spring 2011 baby.
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#3 of 3 Old 12-06-2005, 02:38 PM
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If you're worried that your son will still want to be rocked to sleep at age 10, I assure you he will not. I think it's great that you've found different ways to comfort your son to sleep. As long as it's working for all of you I wouldn't worry about it. As your son gets older he'll naturally be more comfortable with getting himself to sleep.
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