article in this month's Parents magazine - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 16 Old 01-16-2003, 02:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't like Parents magazine all that much, but my MIL gave us a subscription to it for Christmas last year and then renewed it this year. I always find at least one thing in it that ticks me off and I end up firing off an email to the magazine.

This month it's an article about taking care of your newborn. The author writes about being in the hospital with your baby:

"Let your baby stay in the nursery at night. If you room-in, you won't sleep, and you'll have to interpret and respond to all his cries."

Um, maybe I missed something, but isn't that what we mamas are *supposed* to do, interpret and respond to our babies' cries? And what about missing out on that important bonding time during the first days of your baby's life?

Time to write another letter . . .

Amy

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#2 of 16 Old 01-16-2003, 11:44 PM
 
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mommies were supposed to do too
Shame on us for thinking that eh?
write that letter and give ;em hell
Where do they think the baby went in the late 1800 early 1900s? There wasn't a nursery around then!
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#3 of 16 Old 01-17-2003, 06:33 AM
 
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I get so angry with that sort of bad advice! There oughta be a law!! I remember women saying "oh, you'll love it at the hospital, stay as long as you can. They take care of your baby for you. Enjoy it while you can" They looked at me like I was nuts when I told them I was giving birth at a birth center and would be home right after. I guess when you consider the typical hospital birth, all the drugs and interventions, having someone else take care of your baby probably seems just about right.

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#4 of 16 Old 01-17-2003, 04:15 PM
 
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My sister is a nurse in a hospital nursery, and was pretty darn rude when I said we'd have dd room in. Said I'd get a "reputation" or some other such BS. Like I care what they think of me . . . She said I should get rest because "mothering is hard work." Well, DUH!

I said that being a mother doesn't begin two days after a baby is born.
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#5 of 16 Old 01-19-2003, 02:36 AM
 
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unbelievable -- I had to stay in the hospital for three days because of a c-section, and having DS in the room (actually, in the bed!) almost the whole time was absolutely divine! I got to know him, he got to know me... I can't imagine not having had him there and, despite the unplanned c-section, I still look back on it as a very sweet time for him and me. lucky for me the hospital is progressive and the nurses were very cool about it.

think I'll write a letter, too.
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#6 of 16 Old 01-19-2003, 02:51 AM
 
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People tell me that bit of advice all the time. Mainly they are people who I think just don't get it anyhow..so I don't listen to their poor advice. I want to get outta the hospital asap so I can bond with my child and get into the role of mothering without all those interfering people around.

I have a friend who is very mainstream and mostly uninformed. After her daughter was born the nurses asked her if she wanted to room-in with the baby and she thought she would rather rest and send her to the nursery. She told me she really regreted that, because she couldn't sleep anyhow, because she kept wondering how her baby was. So around 4am she went to the nursery and asked for her baby.

I really don't see how anyone could manage to sleep while their baby is somewhere with strangers in a strange place and not even a day old yet.

Karen Mommy of McKenna 2003 & Alysson 2004 homebirth.jpg Expecting stork-girl.gif an early Christmas Present
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#7 of 16 Old 01-20-2003, 12:03 AM
 
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Funny, my baby is the only one who got any rest at the hoispital.

I just remember at 4 in the mo rning staring at her with my eyes really wide thinking "Dang, I wish I was sleeping right now buty I am not even tired" i was still so pumped on adrinaline that I didn't sleep for 24 hours after I had her. She on the other hand did nothing but sleep and just occaisionally nurse.

We stayed in a great hospital though that was more than happy to accomodate our rooming in and we had to go the nursery a couple of times and there was never more than one baby in there.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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#8 of 16 Old 01-20-2003, 05:16 AM
 
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Wow! At the hospital where I gave birth, sending baby away for the night wasn't even an option unless there were medical difficulties.

That's beautiful California!
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#9 of 16 Old 01-20-2003, 10:31 AM
 
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I kept my DS in my room with me and he slept in bed with me. The hospital was not to keen about cosleeping but they didn't stop me! The hospital I gave birth in encouraged the baby to room in and I thought that was great! Maybe soon cosleeping in the hospitals will be expected as well.


Michelle
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#10 of 16 Old 01-20-2003, 11:35 AM
 
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The hospital in Oregon where ds was born also had an empty nursery. They expect your child to stay with you. When they walked in and saw ds and I asleep in the bed together they did wake me up though. They said they thought it was great for me to be spending this time with him, but the bed was small and high and I would have to keep the guard rails up! They raised them, gave me the call button since I couldn't get out of bed, and left. Wonderful, progressive Oregon! I don't think it will be the same in cio France.

: madrone - : SAHM to 12 y.o. DS, : 9 y.o. DD, and : 4 y.o. DS
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#11 of 16 Old 01-23-2003, 07:23 AM
 
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I simply cannot imagine NOT having my baby w/ me. Ideally I would like to have my babies at home in my own bed; but, alas, I have high-risk pregnancies. However, the hospital I had DD at was as close to home as one could get. They don't have a nursery (only a NICU). I had a c/s and was worried about not getting to she DD right away and nurse her. Well, they brought DD to me the moment I was done being stitched and transferred to my room. The spinal hadn't even worn off yet, but they rolled me over on my side, layed DD next to me, and helped her get latched on!

I would just be too paranoid to put my baby in a nursery. I used to work on a maternity ward in a hospital and saw what went on in the nursery. Often, there were several babies crying at once b/c there was only one or two nurses at a time. The nurses often gave the babies bottles and/or pacis when the mothers had requested NO artificial nipples b/c they felt the moms would rather sleep. I used to get so ticked off about that. No thank you!
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#12 of 16 Old 01-23-2003, 09:18 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by madrone
<snip> I don't think it will be the same in cio France.
That really depends on where you give birth in France... I had my first DD on Jan 1 at the Maternité des Lilas near Paris and not only did they encourage us to room in (the --tiny-- nursery was available for nights but only on request by mom, rooming in was treated as standard), they actively encouraged me to keep her in bed with me... offering to move the bed against the wall, giving suggestions as to how best and safest have her in my bed, etc.
They were wonderful!! (And DD is still spending most of the night in our bed at home!!! And since it started at the maternity hospital, DH has been much more relaxed about the idea, LOL...)


--Ione
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#13 of 16 Old 01-23-2003, 10:14 AM
 
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Thank you for telling me that Ione! All of the women I have spoken with here are pretty mainstream, so I really had no hope. When I am expecting #2, I will refer any mainstreamers to the Maternité des Lilas for how I expect to be treated!

: madrone - : SAHM to 12 y.o. DS, : 9 y.o. DD, and : 4 y.o. DS
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#14 of 16 Old 01-23-2003, 03:39 PM
 
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I saw that article too. That's why I'm letting my subscription run out...always something that burns me up. Aside from the fact that we're supposed to be getting to know our baby from day one and bonding w/them, is 1 or 2 nights of sleep (could anyone really sleep well after this exciting event?) really going to make a difference when you're at home and knee deep in the reality of it all? And if you're nursing, they'll have to bring the baby into your room throughout the night anyway. But, I guess you're supposed to have the nurse give a bottle so you won't be bothered. Ugh.

When I had my DD, the nurse came in during the night and shrieked, "where's your baby?!" She was sleeping in my arms and I had a whole fortress of pillows stacked up in my bed. I just couldn't stand not holding her. She belonged w/me.
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#15 of 16 Old 01-23-2003, 10:17 PM
 
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YUCK! That magazine is so bad: The only way I was able to get any sleep at the hospital was to bring my baby in bed with me. I wish I would have done that with my first- I tried having him sleep in the isolette next to the bed and was wondering why he kept waking up: Newborns are used to being all nice and cozy in the uterus. It only makes sense that they want to be close to mom where they are warm and can hear her heartbeat. I understand that nurseries are needed for extreme cases where the mom's health is not good and she just can't care for the baby, but under *normal* circumstances, why in the world would anyone want to cast off thier brand new baby to the nursery:

I just wanted to add that the nurses I had were so wonderful when I had my second ds. When she walked in when we were sleeping together in my bed, she said, "Aww. Look, baby is snuggled up with mommy, right where he should be". That made my day!
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#16 of 16 Old 01-24-2003, 04:53 AM
 
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I get so tired of mainstream magazine crud. I can't believe a magazine would tell women to do this! When I had my daughter, the nurses and DH (who really was just trying to be helpful) convinced me to send her to nursery for a few hours to "get rest". I actually did sleep, because I was exhausted, but I was mad because they said they would bring her back in 2 hours to nurse and it had been four hours. I walked over there myself and got her. I sobbed all the way back to the room because I felt like such a terrible mother for abandoning her. DH knew that he couldn't suggest anything like this again. He was only trying to help, but it was not helpful. For the rest of my time in that hospital, she stayed with me.
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