Have you tried taking her into the shower with you? We have a small cubicle shower, but both of mine come in with me (and with DH when it's his turn) all the time. They play with buckets and bath toys at my feet while I bathe, and then I usually soap them up too. I get out first and dry myself off while they continue to play with their toys, and then I take them out. If it's just ds, I generally leave the water on when I get out, but with dd I turn it off and get her out as quickly as possible because she tries to walk out on her own and it's slippery. We have a no-slip mat that we leave attached to the wall in their, and when the kids come in with us we put it on the floor so we don't have to worry about them falling. Good luck! DS used to pull everything off too, but he eventually grew out of it.
edited to add; I didn't see the "time to myself" part before, and I know what you mean. I have days where I simply do NOT want the kids in the shower with me. But maybe if you can shower at all, it'll help a bit?