Need encouragement:shouldn't we be moving in a better direction at this point? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 38 Old 02-04-2003, 03:24 PM
 
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http://www.drugstore.com/qxp33072_33..._oral_dose.htm

That stuff looks neat!
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#32 of 38 Old 02-05-2003, 09:33 AM
 
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I have been reading this board for a couple of months now, usually when I'm depressed and desperate, but have so far been a bit shy to post any replies(not for lack of wanting to, mind you), but I finally feel moved enough to share.
Since she was born,my 11 mth.old dd wakes between 6-8 times a night(that's a good night) and between 10 -12 on a bad one. I haven't had more than 2 hrs consecutive sleep in about a year!
Despite the obvious overwhelming, tired and sore feelings, are the even more overwhelming feelings of guilt, resentment, frustration, depression and desperation. It's hard when you make a commitment to what you think you believe in (re: AP) and it feels like it just slaps you in the face! Sometimes I wonder if all the extra work it worth it , especially when the crankyness and resentment gets taken out on my dd and dh. I ask myself, which is better? CIO or haboring feelings of resentment and then guilt? (even though I know the answer).
*sigh*
It's the same old story though, isn't it? The marvelous merry-go-round of love and determination, then frustration, then guilt, then back to love.
All said and done (sorry I have a knack for rambling), my two cents come down to this...Hang in there, however you can, 'cause it's all you can do! (it's all I can do)

ps. my coping tip for the day: when i'm feeling really down and out, sometimes I go through all of dd photos, (I take alot of them) and realise how fast and how much she has changed in just 11 months! and remember how rapidly, things will keep changing, and with any luck (fingers crossed) we will all get some sleep soon!
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#33 of 38 Old 02-06-2003, 12:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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That's what a few good hours of sleep makes a woman feel like!!! Yes, you read correctly, DS actually slept MUCH better last night. Was only up like 3-4x all night and slept a BIG stretch sometimes btwn. 12-7. I feel like 1/2 a new woman. Seriously, I woke up and felt like ME again. DS seemed happier, I was able to appreciate him like I can't on those bad sleep days and I just felt better all around. Now, if 3-4 hours of uninterrupted sleep do that for me, what am I going to do when he sleeps longer? I might even run a marathon. Today was the first day in about a week that I didn't want to stick hot pokers in my eyes.

I've been comparing the sleep thing lately to labor. When I have what seems like nights on end of no sleep again, it feels like when the contractions seem to have no end. And even though everyone is telling you that it's all worth it and that you'll have this beautiful baby in the end, it really doesn't make the pain any better. Well, the universe wasn't throwing me a bone, and I really was having a hard time keeping my head above water. Then, I got a minute between contractions like last night. Now I feel like I can breathe again. Who knows what tonight holds? I'm trying not to jinx it.

Serenity-thank you for the hugs and support. I can feel it.

Eosine-I think you may be right about the napping thing. It seems like DS doesn't fully get to sleep soundly until we are in the bed with him (and of course, even then it's no guarantee of anything). So, we have like 3 hours where we're just on edge waiting for that next wake-up. I tried keeping him up a bit longer tonight, and he's woken up once so far. Sounds like you have more experience in this department. I need all your wisdom!

Milkfacemama-I will try the Camilia next. The Hylands really don't seem to do much anymore and that may be b/c he's starting to get the big guns: incisors, molars are next, etc.

Chante-thanks for letting my thread be the first one you replied to! Sounds like you are in the thick of it, too. I remember feeling very confused and unsure of my parenting choices (AP) in the beginning when DS wasn't sleeping AT ALL and seemed generally unhappy sometimes. I thought, I'm doing ALL these things that are supposed to make DS happier and more content, and it's STILL not working. I feel much more confident in our choices now, even after the week we've had. I think we will reap the rewards of our parenting later, perhaps much later. But it will be worth it? Plus, I bet your babe is already a unique little soul that gets lots of compliments, right? You really touched me when you talked about the merry-go-round of emotions. That's exactly what it is. My DH has taken the brunt of my frustrations over the past year. This is the hardest, sometimes impossible-seeming work any of us have ever done. How can we do it alone?

To all your wonderful woman-thank you, thank you, thank. I'll let you know how things go. I could be on here in the morning crying my eyes out again. Let's hope the universe throws all us sleep-deprived girls a bone
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#34 of 38 Old 02-06-2003, 12:51 AM
 
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Sounds wonderful!!! Thank you for sharing!! Don't hold back if you have another sleepless night, but hopefully things will keep getting better!! Here's to experience and sleep!!!
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#35 of 38 Old 02-07-2003, 12:45 AM
 
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Bearsmama- hope you had a better night last night too, and hope for more to come. I just had to reply to second the suggestion for Camilia. I used Hylands gel for dd and I've been using Camilia for ds - it works way better. The single doses are easy to use, not messy, and you can give 2-3 doses before bed on a bad night. The only drawback is since it's homeopathic you have to have a clean mouth, no milkies for 15 min. It truly does work for us.

I really feel for you and applaud your strength and honesty. I have had those frustrating feelings with my own nipper-napper-non-sleeper and thank heavens made it through rough times with some of my sanity intact. Imagine my shock when I found myself suprisingly pregnant last year- all those sleepless nights came to mind and I didn't know if I could live through another couple of years of that kind of life and still continue to AP dd. Well, we were blessed with an angel of a sleeper this time. He has been sleeping through the night (wake to nurse then back to sleep) since the second night of his life. Thank heavens there are some sleeping babies out there.

I wish you and your family peaceful nights. It must be hard for ds to have his sleep broken and still get the rest he needs. Poor thing!!
Hope you'll update with good news!
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#36 of 38 Old 02-07-2003, 10:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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chicklet-thanks so much. Yes, the past few nights have been fairly good (knock wood). It's amazing how everything, mothering included, is so yin & yang, good & bad. I don't know why I thought it would be any different. It's like I have perspective on everything else in my life EXCEPT this b/c it sometimes still feels so new. Like I'm still on my first day of the job.

You give me faith that I could have another. On a good day (and there are usually many, many more good ones than bad), I think I could do it again-at least once. It's amazing that your second is a great sleeper. The universe was good to you!! I do know someone who had TWO colicky babies that just didn't sleep well forever. That scares me a bit.

Now I think he's getting his molars. Could they be coming before incisors? I guess anything's possible considering he hasn't followed the "normal" path thus far for teeth or anything else.

I will try the Camilia next. I think they carry it at my Whole Foods. Chicklet-thanks for the support. It really did get me through this past week.
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#37 of 38 Old 02-08-2003, 12:59 PM
 
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Just for the record, it's chamomilla, the same ingredient as in chamomile tea. It is for the restless baby who is never happy. Pick him up, he wants down. Tries to nurse and breaks off, etc.

For all of you with frequent nightwaking, esp if your baby was "colicky" when young, do you know dairy sensitivity can cause frequent nightwaking? It can cause digestive upset, which may not disturb them except at night when all is quiet and non-stimulating. It isn't easy to cut out dairy, but I know if you are desparate enough, it is worth a try. Cut out ALL dairy in yr diet, if bfing, for 2 weeks, including hidden dairy in processed foods (casein and whey) and in the child's diet if he is having any.

For those of you with spirited childnen who have "too much" energy at night, do you keep them real busy with physical activity during the day? Playgroups/dates, a playgym in yr fam rm, or outdoor activites weather permitting of course. Indoor playspaces if too cold to go out for more than a couple mins. One mom says she has a trampoline she has him use before bed if he is hyper. I also used to give my kids 2 baths a day sometimes (with lots of tub toys), just for activity and stimulation.

2 of mine were spirited and one was spunky (and all 3 were terrilbe teethers, esp #2). Many kids start to sleep a good stretch by age 2 1/2. But mine didn't sleep thru the night, until later. B/c then they were potty training and needed me to take them to the potty! The bonus was tho, they got right back to sleep after waking. Read Raising your Spirited Child for tips on all personality/behavior issues.
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#38 of 38 Old 02-08-2003, 02:15 PM
 
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DaryLLL- the product I'm referring to is made by Boiron - it's called Camilia and it comes in a box. 30 doses in little snap-off and squeeze single oral doses. It contains Belladonna and Chamomilla so it also calms and eases restless and irritability. It works really well - I've been tempted to take it myself!!!
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