Do you think this is okay? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 02-04-2003, 07:58 PM - Thread Starter
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Last night my 3.5-month-old dd was very tired. I nursed her, almost had her asleep, but by the time I got her from my arms to the crib, she was awake again and fussing. She was rubbing her eyes hardcore and very exhausted so I thought it probably wouldn't be long before she was asleep.

I went out of the room for 10 minutes. I didn't hear anything during that time. When I went back in, she was lying perfectly still, staring at the ceiling fan. I've seen her in this state when she has fallen asleep next to me in our bed. It means she's just about to drop off.

But, I picked her up and took her out with me because I felt guilty that she was lying there awake by herself. Plus, I knew I would be going to bed in about 40 minutes and then she could fall asleep beside me.

Basically, I want to know if it's okay to let her lie in her crib alone for 15 minutes if she's not crying, and let her drop off to sleep by herself. Instinct tells me that if she wanted me, she'd be crying, and the fact that she didn't meant she was okay. But I just wasn't sure.

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#2 of 7 Old 02-04-2003, 08:21 PM
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I think your instincts are right, and as long is she does not appear unhappy -- that is fine! Sometimes certain babies need that time with very limited stimulation.
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#3 of 7 Old 02-04-2003, 10:02 PM
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i agree with mamaduck. your baby would cry if she needed you.

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#4 of 7 Old 02-05-2003, 12:10 AM
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I have to admit, that my original reaction was something rather less than diplomatic. Kind of along the lines of, "Are you crazy?!"

Anyway, I would kill to be able to put dd down like that, at any age! Relaxed, content, drowsy, but still sort of awake. Believe me, she let me know that was not acceptable.

She is just now starting to sleep better (and by better I mean she's only up 3-5 times a night on average). The times that she is able to fall asleep on her own (with me there, but not nursing or rocking or anything), she sleeps much longer, and much sounder.

It sounds to me that your ceiling fan is worth it's weight in gold!


Mama to: Katie, Emily , and Abby
Not perfect, Just amazing!
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#5 of 7 Old 02-08-2003, 11:41 PM
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I think if your little one was unhappy, she'd definitely let you know. I think alone time is as important for kids as it is for adults. If she's content to be by herself for a little while (not all day long of course, ), then let her be.
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#6 of 7 Old 02-09-2003, 02:07 PM
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I would let her stay alone next time she was happy alone.....I know my alone time is special to me. Alone is not lonely!
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#7 of 7 Old 02-12-2003, 11:20 PM
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Remember, AP isn't about being "always attached." It's about following baby's cues. It sounds to me as if your daughter has already cashed in on some of those great AP benefits in that she was content to hang by herself for a time. I for one, would definitely take advantage of the time and do something nice for yourself (you know: bathe, breathe, eat...). Indeed, if she needs you, she'll let you know, and the best part is, she's knows you'll be there for her.

Gotta laugh at Bec (are you crazy?!)... same here! DS is two and I'm just now being able to put him down awake without him becoming upset. *sigh* Ah, it was worth all the rocking, nursing and singing for him to be able to do it in his own time... hang in there...

All the best to you and enjoy those few moments to yourself!

Em 43 - Wife to hubby Mom to DS born: Jan. '01
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