6 1/2 month old not sleeping - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 02-09-2003, 12:52 PM - Thread Starter
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HELP!!!!! My 6 1/2 month old ds is waking up constantly. It just seems to be getting worse and worse. He used to sleep in a crib next to our bed for the first part of the night, then with us for the rest. Of course he would rather sleep with dh and I and began to refuse the crib. So I removed the side off his crib and attached it to our bed, which works fine except now he crawls and just crawls in bed with us immediately upon waking. This would all be fine except he is waking up every one and a half to two hours. I usually get one three hour strectch but that is it. He wakes up and immediately starts screaming. He flails his little arms and legs and gets so upset if I don't jump to action. So, that is exactly what I do. I am so tired and I feel like a horrible mother because I really resent him in the middle of the night. All my friends and family tell me to let him "cry it out" and then act like this is all my fault because I refuse to do that. I've tried the no cry solution and am still trying it, but I am just so tired it is hard to be focused with a screaming baby in the mddle of the night or wee hours of the morning. I just don't know what to do. I feel very sad and really dread going to bed at night. I just want to be a good mother and I feel like I am failing miserably when it comes to nighttime parenting.

, mama to DS(7/)22/02) DS (8/14/04) , and an angel (3/10/10)nursing a broken heart...loving my boys.
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#2 of 7 Old 02-09-2003, 01:16 PM
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It can be so frustrating!! My ds is 8 months and sleeps no more then a couple hours at at a time before he wakes wanting to be nursed. We co-sleep and refuse to use cribs. Is co-sleeping an option for you?

I understand too about friends/family feeling that the fact the baby isn't sleeping through the night is your fault...and to just let him cry it out. You know what....they are right!!!! They really are....if I put my ds in a crib and let him cry it out...I would have him sleeping through the night....in his crib...in no time....and so would you!!! But, that's not an option for me....I wouldn't even consider letting my ds cry it out and the thought of it makes me feel ill.

I learned not to complain....or discuss...my childrens sleeping habits. I learned that I have *chosen* to get up in the middle of the night because parenting is 24/7 and using a sleep training method is not for us.

So, when my ds wakes for the one-hundredth time...I remind myself that I am choosing to comfort him....and that it won't last forever...and I go to bed earlier...sleep in as long as I can..and I take naps....all of which makes the night-time parenting MUCH easier...and then the resentment won't rear it's ugle head.

When your ds wakes tonight...try not to feel resentful....feel proud of yourself and what a great mom you are!!! ((hugs))
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#3 of 7 Old 02-09-2003, 04:11 PM
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Doing CIO might work, or it might not and you'll have put yourself and him thru hell in the meantime. Or often it works temporarily and has to be repeated. Ugh. Personally I could never do that to my babe, and you are so right to listen to your gut and not your relatives.

My first suggestion is that you embrace cosleeping fully. While side-carring or combination crib/bed works well for some families, it is obviously not working for you. My dd sleeps right beside me so that when she wakes up my breast is right there and she's latched on before she has a chance to fully wake. If for some reason my breast is not there, she will rapidly get more and more agitated. Your description of your son's behaviour sounds like what mine would do were she to have to wait too long for her breast. So please do try this - sleep cuddled up with baby's head near your breast. We all sleep very well and I barely waken for feeds so it's no big deal for us.

I also want to second what Kindred said about embracing your decision, remind yourself it is not forever and you are being the best mother to your baby. STOP sharing your woes with non-helpful or critical people. Lie if you have to - it's none of their business. Come here to vent - we'll support you!! And yes, go to bed early, take naps whenever you can, etc.

I hope this helps!!

teapot2.GIF Homeschooling, Homesteading Mama to DD ('02) and DS ('04)  ribbonjigsaw.gif blogging.jpg homeschool.gif

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#4 of 7 Old 02-09-2003, 05:29 PM
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I agree with Piglet and Kindred!!!!!

Especially about "embracing cosleeping fully."

Your baby's behavior is VERY typical and VERY normal. It is VERY common for a baby who previously slept longer stretches to wake more at night for many reasons:
growth spurt
teething pain
developmental milestones (such as learning to talk or crawl)
stress from change in the family (mom or dad changes work/school schedule, death in family, new pet)
change in weather, storms

and on and on.

The people who tell you to cry-it-out were told that nonsense themselves...they were probably left to cry themselves as babies. Good for you for breaking the cycle!!!!! Shame on them for implying it is your fault.

Take the time to heal from your marriage before you move on with someone else. Make a list of all the qualities you would like in a new partner and then work on growing that way yourself. ~mandib50
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#5 of 7 Old 02-09-2003, 05:47 PM
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As was said before...often the best way to handle unwanted advice is to avoid getting it.

A lie "oh he sleeps great!" doesn't really hurt anyone. Then you can be honest and vent with those who support your decisions (umm..us here at MDC)

A favourite of mine is "he sleeps really well for his age". If people questions further, you can say "oh, he's teething" or "he just learnt to sit up" or "he's now crawling". And it can distract from the sleep issue.

My ds is the same age as yours (6.5 months). And we do much better now that we have accepted co-sleeping as our solution. We expected to do it - but I ended up not getting enough room on the bed and was in a lot of pain. So we "embraced" cosleeping, attached a single bed to our queen...and now we all sleep better for it.

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#6 of 7 Old 02-12-2003, 10:24 AM
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Have you read the thread "does your baby sleep all night?" by mamasarah?

It is about the same subject (and has more responses.)

I would post a link if I knew how....

Take the time to heal from your marriage before you move on with someone else. Make a list of all the qualities you would like in a new partner and then work on growing that way yourself. ~mandib50
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#7 of 7 Old 02-12-2003, 05:12 PM
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My dd, who is normally a pretty good sleeper, went through a horrible 2 week period at 6.5 mos when she would wake, cry, and want to eat. It stopped after 2 weeks and now all is well again. Also, I agree you should probably "embrace co-sleeping fully". It's so rewarding!
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