OK, seriously, I think I've had it... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 02-14-2003, 03:05 PM - Thread Starter
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There have always been sleep issues with DS- he gets up every 1-2 hours every single night since birth, maybe two 20 minute naps a day if were lucky, he is 9 months+ now. I am getting no sleep at all. DH and I try to take turns but living in such a small house we are both woken up anyway and I have a difficult time falling back asleep too. Lately it's every 1/2 hour (maybe teething again?) but We can't do it. We have other kids that need us too, I am back to work for 3 12 hour shifts per week. Try working 12 hours in a high stress area (NICU nurse) after virtually no sleep. UGH! ARGH!!!

I have the no cry sleep solution and am trying the techniques in there. No success so far, I've been working on it a month. He eats so much at night. He will scream at the top of his lungs forever if we try other methods to soothe him back to sleep. He insists on foor then he will go back to sleep- though for a short time only to start all over again. We are all miserable. All of us. I keep hearing people who have had good results just letting them CIO for a couple nights. And while I am philosophically against this and hate to hear him cry at night- even for a minute- I am thinking that for our sanity we have to try this. I don't know. What should I do? I am begging you!!
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#2 of 4 Old 02-14-2003, 03:44 PM
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dear mama....

I am not going to admonish you for mentioning the dreaded CIO. I have not been in your shoes and I can't imagine how exhausted you must be. I will only say this...I don't think you will be able to do it anyways. Knowing that all you need to do is offer the breast to soothe him, I doubt you will be able to "last". My DD is 7 mo, not too much younger than yours. If I were to let her cry, it would escalate and escalate to the point where she would scream in hysterics and probably start coughing and sputtering. I couldn't stand it, and I doubt you will be able to stand it, either. And keep in mind that CIO doesn't always work. Some of the people I know who did it would end up having to go through it all again after a growth spurt or teething, etc.

Is there some way that you and DH could rotate nights? Could you pump some milk and have DH offer a bottle? Maybe you could sleep separate from DH and DS on those nights. That way at least you could get a longer stretch of sleep every other night.

You know, I was very surprised when I got very sick a couple weeks ago and DH was having to put DD to bed each night. He doesn't have any breasts and she went down for the night much earlier with him than with me. Go figure! Anyways, you might just try giving your DH the job one night and see how it goes.

I wish you much luck!!

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#3 of 4 Old 02-14-2003, 04:09 PM - Thread Starter
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Hmmm, first I think you are right! I don't think CIO would actually work for me, even the more gentle method in TNCSS hardly works because I cave and do give the breast whenever he asks for it LOL! We are trying to find a crib for him. The few times he has slept with just DH he does do a little better so maybe at least it will head us in the right direction. Now where we will put a crib I have no idea but if there is a chance it might work we are all about it. We are a wreck! We do sleep separately (DH an I) so that whoever is apart from baby will get more sleep. I still awaken whenever DH has him and he wakes up since DH has to then go and warm a bottle- DS screams bloody murder until he gets it. Monster. I know this shall pass but it doesn't make me a better person to be around now!
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#4 of 4 Old 02-14-2003, 05:27 PM
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mara, I have been there. I am there. I know what this is like (except that I don't work, and I can't imagine working with this kind of sleep deprivation. I would ask how you do it, but I get so sick of people asking me that question. You do what you have to, duh.) I can count on one hand the number of times in 14 months my boy has slept longer than a 3 hour stretch, and most nights for us are in the 1-2 hour range. Little catnaps. No rest for mama. I hear you. And, the 9 month stage was particularly tough for us. I remember a month or so of 30 minute stretches. That is pure insanity.

My advice may not be popular, but here goes - hold on for a few months and then nightwean. We're in the middle of nightweaning right now and I can't yet vouch for its success, but it works for most people. It's not something I ever thought I'd do and I'm not happy that I've exhausted every other option I could think of (homeopathy, cranial sachral, dietary changes, all kinds of changes in our sleeping configuration, white noise, bedtime routine, blah blah blah). But, so far nightweaning is not as awful as I expected (we're only on night 1, though, stay tuned)... We waited until we felt Jackson was at least sort of ready for it, balanced with our own desperation. 9 months is a little early, but maybe you can hold on for a few more months if you know there's an end in sight??

http://drjaygordon.com/ap/sleep.htm is a gentle nightweaning plan worth reading.

Love to you, mama. Hang in there. Take as good care of yourself as you can.
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