what about child protective services? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 03-16-2006, 07:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi, im a new poster here and i really enjoy reading about AP practices. i am currently single and like to research things like ethnopediatrics. i definetely want to practice AP so i enjoy reading actual experiences. i am torn between wanting to know details and thinking that some parents on this board are taking a real risk in thier posts. i have read were some parents have admitted having sex in the same room with a child and i wonder (with the recent issues between google and the government) that this could lead to people being investigated for child abuse.

Some people just dont understand alternative parenting practices and become hostile. Has anyone here had to deal with the threat of being turned in by people who were hostile to these practices?

There are some tips on the lalecheleage site about dealing with this issue that i think could apply to the family bed issue.
http://www.lalecheleague.org/Law/LawExtended.html

thank you all for opening up your lives and letting me see into a truley caring lifestyle, just be careful.
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#2 of 8 Old 03-16-2006, 10:22 PM
 
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I totally agree. It is in my opinion not ok to do that. I have posted on here before about how seeing my mom having sex in front of me when i was asleep or not. It has almost ruined my desire for sex. I have repressed feelings that creep up on me all the time. almost daily. This is a very real issue and take it from me it CAN BE DETREMENTAL. SERIOUSLY
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#3 of 8 Old 03-16-2006, 10:47 PM
 
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I think that IN AMERICAN SOCIETY it can be detrimental to have sex in front of your kids. It's not simply the kids seeing sex, because in many societies with less physical privacy it happens all the time and no one thinks twice about it or is harmed by it. It's how it combines with lots of other dynamics in our culture that make it problematic.

I do think it's not a big deal with a sleeping baby. But past the age of two it becomes iffier and iffier, and certainly with a verbal child who can process what's going on and wonder what's going on, it's probably just not a good idea.

As a single parent, it should, I would think, be less of a concern for you. If you're in a relationship that involves sex, do it at your partner's house (if he's got kids too, well, there's always the car).

And has often been iterated here, there are more places for sex than the bed, and more ways to arrange the house than "mommy/daddy bedroom" and "kiddie bedroom". If you have 2 bedrooms, one can have the family bed, and the other a guest/adult fun bed, kwim? The family bed and master suite could be kid territory, and adult space in a smaller room.

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#4 of 8 Old 03-17-2006, 12:17 AM
 
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I know my rights and would never tolerate CPS coming after me without all their i's dotted and t's crossed. And at first whisper I would be where they couldn't get me.

-Angela
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#5 of 8 Old 03-17-2006, 02:53 PM
 
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My parents coslept with me. And recently I was talking to my mom and she said something about DH's and my sex life (my mom and I are pretty close) and I said something about needing to clean off the guest bed again because we'd tossed a bunch of stuff on there the weekend before. And she says "Why do you go in there?" and I said "Well James is in our bed, we can't do anything there!" so she said "Why not? He won't know whats going on. You and your brothers never did."

And she's right, I don't remember it. So long as you aren't doing anything once the child becomes aware and can store memories I don't see a problem with it I guess.

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#6 of 8 Old 03-17-2006, 03:18 PM
 
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my parents and I co slept and when push came to shoove they had sex in someother room after I was asleep
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#7 of 8 Old 03-17-2006, 03:23 PM
 
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Quote:
I think that IN AMERICAN SOCIETY it can be detrimental to have sex in front of your kids. It's not simply the kids seeing sex, because in many societies with less physical privacy it happens all the time and no one thinks twice about it or is harmed by it. It's how it combines with lots of other dynamics in our culture that make it problematic.
ITA with this.
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#8 of 8 Old 03-19-2006, 07:03 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by remixrocka
i am torn between wanting to know details and thinking that some parents on this board are taking a real risk in thier posts. i have read were some parents have admitted having sex in the same room with a child and i wonder (with the recent issues between google and the government) that this could lead to people being investigated for child abuse.


thank you all for opening up your lives and letting me see into a truley caring lifestyle, just be careful.
Could you reference the posts that concern you a bit more clearly? Link any threads? I know sometimes it's not possible to go back and actually find the exact thread or post that brought a thought to mind, but could you be as specific as possible? I ask this because I am not clear on what details you are interested in but feel are risky to discuss.

I am also interested in your admonition that folks who practice the family bed be careful. Could you elaborate on that in the context of what you are asking?

I would propose to you that mothers on MDC are far more careful in parenting than mainstream mothers, as a general rule - careful to attend to the needs of their children; careful to attend to the needs of the earth; careful to put real life over the claims of advertisers.
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