Help How do I get my baby to fall asleep and stay asleep? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 04-22-2006, 07:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My son is 10 mo. old and has been co-sleeping since about 3 1/2 mo. He outgrew the co-sleeper and I was tired so he began nursing and falling asleep
with us in bed. He is so restless and neither my husband or I get any sleep
anymore, so we need him to transition to a crib and I want to do it in the
gentlest way possible. But I'm not having much luck. I nurse him until he
falls asleep and as soon as I put him down in the crib, he wakes up, stands up and cries and screams and stays standing there. I try laying him down and rubbing his back, but he just gets back up on his feet. The only success I have with the crib is his morning nap. Does anyone have any suggestions? I just don't want him to feel like I'm rejecting him by putting him in the crib and I worry about him because he seems grumpy about other issues like eating (putting his hands in front of his face) and getting his diaper changed, he suddenly has an attitude about it he didn't before and I hope it's not related to the sleeping issue.
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#2 of 9 Old 04-22-2006, 08:15 PM
 
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sounds like my ds#1! so you probably don't want to hear my advice but i will give it anyway. we just realized that he wasn't ready. we all hear about teh babies that sleep through the night, but you have to remember that every baby is different. this is your ds's personality. you can choose to "go with it" until he is ready or you can "train" him to sleep in his crib. when ds#1 turned 2, we set up his own room and talked about it for about 2 weeks and the first night we tried him in his own bed, he slept the whole night. because he was ready at that point. he still comes in at some point during the night to sleep with us, but for the most part, he is in his own bed now. i am not saying it will take another year for you, because again, every child is different.
now ds#2 doesn't usually nurse to sleep at all. when eh is full, he pops off, and i cradle hold him until he falls asleep, and then i put him in his bed next to ours. (until he wakes up then eh comes in with us)

a big part of the Ap lifestyle is recognizing what your babies needs are and responding to them. i know there is a fine line there since you guys aren't getting any sleep. my dh usually takes our 3 yo into the guest room and the baby and i sleep in our bed just so everyone gets a good nights sleep.

a little long winded, sorry. but that is my 2 cents!

good luck!
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#3 of 9 Old 04-22-2006, 08:22 PM
 
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I haven't tried anything like this yet but will probably do it as transition -- can you add a twin bed to your bed or put crib mattress on the floor so you can lie down with him to get him to sleep but not have to move him once he's asleep? Or let him fall asleep in your bed and once he's tight move him to his own mattress in your room?
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#4 of 9 Old 04-22-2006, 08:28 PM
 
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I read that babys are in a light sleep state for 20 to 30 minutes after falling asleep. After that the deep sleep state comes and that's usually a good time to move them. I know if I move my son before that 20 minutes is up, I'm up with him for another hour!
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#5 of 9 Old 04-22-2006, 10:09 PM
 
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I have done what Evie suggested. DS sleeps on a crib mattress on the floor. Our mattress is on the floor as well, and the crib mattress is wedged between our bed and the wall. It improved everyone's sleep, that is for sure! Now that he is a little older (16 months) we figured he was ready for a bit more separation so we added the box spring under our mattress so we are higher up than he is - he was excited by the little "fort" that height created . When he is older we will move the crib mattress to the other side of our room, and eventually we will have him in a single bed in his own room, but no rush. Anyway, that is what worked for us, might be worth a try!

Amy
mama to big brother Mason (Jan '05) and the littles, Adam and Holden (May '10)
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#6 of 9 Old 04-23-2006, 12:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone for your suggestions. I am so stressed out anymore I don't know what to do, I want to do the right thing for him but it is so hard. I'm not getting any sleep and I need it because I am not the patient mama I want to be, I'm more on edge and I get frustrated easier because I'm not getting the rest I need, my husband and I seem to argue more too. I never wanted sleeping to be such a struggle. My son seems to fight sleep so hard. My other problem is that he wants to nurse frequently during the night and if he can't find me, he starts crying and waking up more and more, I don't think he needs milk, I think he needs to suck. This is also keeping me awake and he moves around in bed so he is horizontal instead of vertical, this just does not work in a queen size bed, I just wish he wasn't so restless. Does anyone have any ideas about the night nursing issue, he is 10 mo. old, so it seems like he shouldn't be doing this anymore?
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#7 of 9 Old 04-23-2006, 12:59 PM
 
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Night nursing is very common in babies...and it does lessen as babies get older. I wouldn't do any night weaning this early in your babe's life because he is still a baby and if he's busy during the day is probably getting quite a lot of nutritional needs met at night by nursing.

My dd went through a restless sleeping phase around that age...it does pass. She does much less tossing and turning now at 16 months than she did when she was 10 months. It worked for us to put a side rail up on my side of the bed and have her sleep most of the night between me and the side rail. I was able to snuggle up to my dh (which I liked!) and give her a little more space. Or you could side car a crib to your bed to give your ds his own sleeping space.

We had a rough time of sleeping and nightimes between around 7 months and 13 months. My dd was teething a LOT, experiencing some separation anxiety at night (she wasn't able to handle a crib all night long, although she does start the night out in her own bed), and learning so many new things during the day...she just was more needy at night for a while. It's much better most nights now!

Hang in there!
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#8 of 9 Old 04-23-2006, 03:18 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ocean mama05
he suddenly has an attitude about it he didn't before and I hope it's not related to the sleeping issue.
Hmm, unfortunately I think this is probably related to the move to a crib in a separate room. There is not really a "gentle" way to move a 10 month old to a crib in his own room if he is not ready and from what you have written, it sounds like your little one isn't ready.

If you are not able to get any sleep I strongly advise you to sidecar your crib or if your mattress is on the floor take out the crib mattress and push it up next to yours. This can help with night nursing, still close enough that you can get to him easily and then roll away when he is back to sleep.

You also mentioned that he still nurses a lot at night, this is so normal! My daughter used to sleep for 12 hours a night, until about 6 or 7 months. Then she started teeting in earnst, started sitting up, eating solids, crawling, walking.... All these things combine to make a previously sleeping baby revert to frequent night wakings.
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#9 of 9 Old 04-24-2006, 02:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks again! I probably should have mentioned that the crib has always been in our room and in fact right now it's about 1 1/2 feet away from my side of the bed. But my son still does not like me to put him in there at night, screams, cries even when I'm sitting on the bed next to him. Thanks for the suggestions, we'll keep working on it, may try the side rail idea or putting the mattress on the floor.
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