We've coslept with ds (3) since he was born, and we're now trying to figure out a sleeping arrangement for when ds2 is born. DH has decided that he is going to start sleeping in one of the spare bedrooms with DS and I hate this idea. It would leave me alone with the baby, not that DH has ever ever done any nighttime parenting (he's great during the day but sleeps like a rock!) but I want to snuggle both my boys! And DH works long overnight shifts (works out to about 10 per month) so DS would end up back in 'my' bed those nights anyway. We have a king size bed and I think there is a better solution than breaking up the family bed, I just don't know what it is.
Bedtime and morning are very special times for me and ds, we snuggle and sweet talk each other and connect in that way I'm sure other cosleepers know about. That time stays with me through the day, and some days that's reeeeeally important! I don't know how the sleep patterns of the new baby will change it, but I imagine at least some nights/mornings the baby will take part in the snuggle sessions too. For sure as he gets older. If DS wanted to go sleep in his own room that would be fine (ok, it would be hard for *me* but I'd get over it!
) but this is just different. I want to snuggle my boys, darnit! DH doesn't get into the snuggling thing, he wakes up at 4:30 so misses morning snuggles and is tired at bedtime so just rolls over and gets grumpy if we drag it out too long. He says we "putz". Ha.
I've gently suggested he make himself a bedroom, but he doesn't want to do that for some reason. I guess it would make him feel like he was shunning his family, iykwim. I remember when DS was born and he asked how old we'd be cosleeping and I said "a couple years" his eyes about bugged out of his head! It's not that important to him because he isn't reaping the good stuff twice a day, getting loved on and making memories that will last a lifetime. He would, however like to cosleep with just me
Yeah that makes sense but it's not going to happen anytime soon.
I'm just sad to think my sweet bed times with DS might be ending. And I'm sad to think he won't be able to share those times with his little brother. And I'm sad because I'm a hormonal pregnant lady and need all the snuggles I can get! If I lay down the law and say 'no, dh you move into your own bed' I know he will be hurt. I don't really want him to move out of our bed, but like I said he's not a bedtime snuggler and isn't there in the mornings. Isn't there some nights either! I need to bring him a good idea to get his mind off this separate family beds nonsense. I just can't think of anything!