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#1 of 10 Old 03-18-2003, 05:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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No, we're still not sleeping. Yes, we're going insane. We've resigned ourselves to just waiting it out. Then DH pointed out this tonight and I realized how bad it really is:

-DS (12mo) fights naps all day long and will only sleep sucking on the boob if he does sleep.

-He won't let me nurse him when I'm lying down, so I sit in the glider all day and all night. My back and posture are suffering tremendously.

-DH and I have to pass DS back and forth for over an hour (me nursing him, DH rocking him) for him to go to sleep for the night.

-A good night is one where we get one 2 hour stretch. And we consider THAT sleeping through the night since we're so lucky!

-The only way DS will go that long is if he sleeps with DH in the living room on our pullout bed. We haven't slept in the same bed in months.

-Then, while asleep, DS screams if I don't flip him over every minute to the other side while he's nursing so I can't get any sleep either.

We're all going crazy, are all suffering from constant headaches, and are terribly unhappy during the day from lack of sleep. We've tried everything, and I mean EVERYTHING to help him sleep (short of CIO). What have we done wrong? Will this EVER get better?
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#2 of 10 Old 03-18-2003, 06:21 AM
 
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Mariposita, no real advice, just a hug ((((())))). Gabe has never been much of a sleeper either and he is almost 2- he usually wakes every two hours to nurse. Your DS sounds like a real stubborn one though!

Sleep deprevation is a serious issue and I can understand how it is getting you down. It makes everything look so bleak and impossible to handle. But this time WILL pass.
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#3 of 10 Old 03-18-2003, 02:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the responses. We're really hoping that DS will eventually be able to sleep in our bed with us. DH once said, "He can sleep with us until he's 16, as long as he's sleeping!"

We've tried every single sleeping layout possible--cosleeping as a whole family, with me only, with DH only, lying on the floor next to our bed (we don't even have a crib), sleeping in another room. The only thing that has helped us is me sleeping in one room with DH and DS co-sleeping. That's what took us from getting up every 1/2 hour to getting one 2 hour stretch per night. This IS the "sleeping better" that we were hoping for. It's just still not enough.

We have a very consistent bedtime routine, which does help. We (kind of) tried CIO in one moment of pure frustration. DS was vomiting within 2 minutes. We can't do anything like that ever again. It's not worth all the sleep in the world!

I guess I'm just wondering how long this will go on. I really don't think there is a solution (we would have found it by now--we've tried over 50 things), just want to have an idea of when we can expect this to get better.
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#4 of 10 Old 03-18-2003, 05:39 PM
 
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It seems to me like nursing laying down would be the biggest help. Have you tried just spending a day or two in bed with your shirt off? reading, watching tv so that every time he wants to nurse you are already there. I do think that you can start to change his nursing the same way you would take away something he can't have. You can lay there and comfort him, but just be matter of fact about staying there to nurse. By this age nursing can start to be a real two way realtionship, you get some say.

Have you read this? Especially starting with # 19.Dr. Sears

I know you said you've tried everything but I just wanted to tell you what really helps for us (most of these are on the list above)

The right p.j.'s, I always thought that if they got cold they would wake, but have found out that really they sleep better in just a diaper, even if a little cold. Which makes sense considering how little they like to wear clothes during the day.

Quite a bit of white noise. We need a pretty loud fan running for everyone to sleep the best.

It has to be dark. All of the window have blankets hung over them, because street lights or full moons disturb our sleep. And I keep awake times bright.

Some families find that the opposite of these things work better-like snug pj's, music all night, or a night light.

Have you looked at allergies? I really don't know where to go from here, but for some babies getting rid of an allergent can really turn them into a new child.

I know that this doesn't help you so much since you have to get up to nurse, but when our night waking has been really bad. I usually give dh 3 or 4 nights off. Like he gets wen-sat nights with out being woken up. And then helps on sun thru tue. So that at least one of us is rested. And then I can sleep in, take naps, and go to bed first on the weekend knowing that my well rested husband will be able to deal with the children better than I can. I also think this works well because at least a coupel nights a week there is someone who is not so focused on getting the child to sleep. Finally there is someone who is just going to read stories, roll the ball, watch tv with out spending two hours just trying to get him to sleep (at least this is how it works at our house, on sat and sun night dh would just stay up with the tired, cranky guy until they want to come to bed and nurse).

I really do think this will end. I know for naps especially, when it is nice outside and we have spent three hours ouside this morning it doesn't take nearly as long to fall asleep.
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#5 of 10 Old 03-18-2003, 09:22 PM
 
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I can't imagine how exhausted you must be!

I have read over and over that dairy sensitivities/allergies can lead to sleeping problems. Have you tried cutting all, and I mean all, dairy products out of your diet (and his if he's eating foods) for a good three to four weeks to see if things improve? It takes three weeks for dairy to clear your system, so you have to give it that long (and read labels like a fiend for dairy ingredients like casein, whey, etc.)

It seems to me it's worth a shot. Also, have you seen a chiropractor or a homeopathic specialist? Maybe there's a physical cause for your baby's issues that they could help with.

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#6 of 10 Old 03-18-2003, 09:56 PM
 
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My first Ds fought sleep like crazy and we tried everything to no avail. At 14 mo he slept thru the night for the fist time Of course thats about the only time he still wakes a couple of times (28 mo).
We did night wean which may of made the difference but I think the time was just right for him as I'm sure it will be for your Ds soon. I have yet to get a full night sleep myself as Ds #2 is waking constantly and needs to be nursed to sleep ( 7 mo ). I find my disrupted sleep is a bit more tolerable if I nurse laying down but for the most part I have to sit up as he usually needs a burp
Hang in There,
Meg
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#7 of 10 Old 03-25-2003, 02:31 AM
 
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Oh, i feel for you. my 12 month old ds is an all night nurser. nurses on average about every 30-45 minutes, but likes to keep the nipple in his mouth all the time. i can't even get up to pee, no joke. and he gets mad and screams if i don't keep changing sides until he falls back asleep. some nights i think i can't take another night of this and then the next night its not so bad and i wonder what i was complaining about. we are trying something during the day though, and surprisingly its working. my ds has only fallen asleep 3 ways in his life...1) nursing 2) carseat and 3) stroller - long walk. so for naps he has always nursed to sleep. we have started having my husband lay down with him for naps and surprise: he's falling asleep and staying asleep with him!!!!! at first he fussed a little, just a little whimper here and there but no crying. and its worked on a few occasions now - knock on wood. it's like he knows dh doesn't have any nursies. so we figure we might start trying it at night or at least having dh sleep with us. in all honesty, i think that by 12 months a good portion of the all night nursing is just out of habit. he has become accustomed to needing the nipple in his mouth to fall back asleep. of course, we're not ready for CIO, so we continue on....
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#8 of 10 Old 03-26-2003, 02:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Squeakermansmom - Wow, that sounds just like my DS! That whole changing sides thing really sucks, doesn't it? We've been having DH try to put him down (by walking) at night, and DS does seem to sleep longer stretches when he does this.

Actually, just the other day DS was diagnosed with a hiatal hernia and acid reflux. We're pretty sure that this is the reason why he wants to constantly nurse (milk is an antacid), but also the reason for the frequent nightwakings (his tummy gets full and causes the reflux to be worse). Poor little guy. So we're going to try some different techniques and hope that things improve. Crossing our fingers....

Thank you all for all of your support and advice!
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#9 of 10 Old 03-26-2003, 04:03 AM
 
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*looks back from 22 months and remembers what 12 months was like*

Yes. It gets better.

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#10 of 10 Old 03-27-2003, 01:11 AM
 
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mariposita - let me know if something works for you - i need all the advice i can get!
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