-DS (12mo) fights naps all day long and will only sleep sucking on the boob if he does sleep.
-He won't let me nurse him when I'm lying down, so I sit in the glider all day and all night. My back and posture are suffering tremendously.
-DH and I have to pass DS back and forth for over an hour (me nursing him, DH rocking him) for him to go to sleep for the night.
-A good night is one where we get one 2 hour stretch. And we consider THAT sleeping through the night since we're so lucky!
-The only way DS will go that long is if he sleeps with DH in the living room on our pullout bed. We haven't slept in the same bed in months.
-Then, while asleep, DS screams if I don't flip him over every minute to the other side while he's nursing so I can't get any sleep either.
We're all going crazy, are all suffering from constant headaches, and are terribly unhappy during the day from lack of sleep. We've tried everything, and I mean EVERYTHING to help him sleep (short of CIO). What have we done wrong? Will this EVER get better?
Sleep deprevation is a serious issue and I can understand how it is getting you down. It makes everything look so bleak and impossible to handle. But this time WILL pass.
We've tried every single sleeping layout possible--cosleeping as a whole family, with me only, with DH only, lying on the floor next to our bed (we don't even have a crib), sleeping in another room. The only thing that has helped us is me sleeping in one room with DH and DS co-sleeping. That's what took us from getting up every 1/2 hour to getting one 2 hour stretch per night. This IS the "sleeping better" that we were hoping for. It's just still not enough.
We have a very consistent bedtime routine, which does help. We (kind of) tried CIO in one moment of pure frustration. DS was vomiting within 2 minutes. We can't do anything like that ever again. It's not worth all the sleep in the world!
I guess I'm just wondering how long this will go on. I really don't think there is a solution (we would have found it by now--we've tried over 50 things), just want to have an idea of when we can expect this to get better.
Have you read this? Especially starting with # 19.Dr. Sears
I know you said you've tried everything but I just wanted to tell you what really helps for us (most of these are on the list above)
The right p.j.'s, I always thought that if they got cold they would wake, but have found out that really they sleep better in just a diaper, even if a little cold. Which makes sense considering how little they like to wear clothes during the day.
Quite a bit of white noise. We need a pretty loud fan running for everyone to sleep the best.
It has to be dark. All of the window have blankets hung over them, because street lights or full moons disturb our sleep. And I keep awake times bright.
Some families find that the opposite of these things work better-like snug pj's, music all night, or a night light.
Have you looked at allergies? I really don't know where to go from here, but for some babies getting rid of an allergent can really turn them into a new child.
I know that this doesn't help you so much since you have to get up to nurse, but when our night waking has been really bad. I usually give dh 3 or 4 nights off. Like he gets wen-sat nights with out being woken up. And then helps on sun thru tue. So that at least one of us is rested. And then I can sleep in, take naps, and go to bed first on the weekend knowing that my well rested husband will be able to deal with the children better than I can. I also think this works well because at least a coupel nights a week there is someone who is not so focused on getting the child to sleep. Finally there is someone who is just going to read stories, roll the ball, watch tv with out spending two hours just trying to get him to sleep (at least this is how it works at our house, on sat and sun night dh would just stay up with the tired, cranky guy until they want to come to bed and nurse).
I really do think this will end. I know for naps especially, when it is nice outside and we have spent three hours ouside this morning it doesn't take nearly as long to fall asleep.
I have read over and over that dairy sensitivities/allergies can lead to sleeping problems. Have you tried cutting all, and I mean all, dairy products out of your diet (and his if he's eating foods) for a good three to four weeks to see if things improve? It takes three weeks for dairy to clear your system, so you have to give it that long (and read labels like a fiend for dairy ingredients like casein, whey, etc.)
It seems to me it's worth a shot. Also, have you seen a chiropractor or a homeopathic specialist? Maybe there's a physical cause for your baby's issues that they could help with.
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We did night wean which may of made the difference but I think the time was just right for him as I'm sure it will be for your Ds soon. I have yet to get a full night sleep myself as Ds #2 is waking constantly and needs to be nursed to sleep ( 7 mo ). I find my disrupted sleep is a bit more tolerable if I nurse laying down but for the most part I have to sit up as he usually needs a burp
Hang in There,
Actually, just the other day DS was diagnosed with a hiatal hernia and acid reflux. We're pretty sure that this is the reason why he wants to constantly nurse (milk is an antacid), but also the reason for the frequent nightwakings (his tummy gets full and causes the reflux to be worse). Poor little guy. So we're going to try some different techniques and hope that things improve. Crossing our fingers....
Thank you all for all of your support and advice!