I really appreciate your reply, and I now kind of wonder if my message wasn't very clear. I am very familiar with attachment parenting and have always tried to practice it (using a sling, nursing, cosleeping, staying at home, etc.). I guess I wonder if some of our other issues are rooted in nursing though. I have almost no milk anymore (and I know that's no what his in it for) and I know he's just looking for comfort, but he won't accept any other form of comfort from me. During the day we do fine because he's not wondering and worrying about nursing, if he falls down he comes to me for a hug or to brush off or whatever, but not pawing and clawing and struggling to nurse. As soon as the lights go off though, he is desperate to "open mommy's shirt". Again, I don't have any problem fundamentally with nursing at this age, I just wish we could cuddle, and sing and read and enjoy bedtime instead of it being his only focus. I want to provide an opportunity for him to learn how to relax without my nipple in his mouth because I feel like if he realizes he can he will. I hate to see him get worked up. I have even wondered if offering nursing at a limited but different time of day would alleviate this desperation, but I don't want to go back to constant nursing (it was a relief for us both to have that question answered.- As soon as I told him out of the blue one day nursing is for bedtime he completely stopped asking and never fussed about it at all.) I don't know, maybe he's not ready. I just wish we could have some transition going on that includes some physical closeness without the actual nursing. I have read from other moms that night weaning alleviates the night waking also. That's not my main focus - we nurse lying down and both sleep through it in the middle of the night. I can't help but to wonder if there is this constant testing he's doing all night to see what the answer is, and if I gave him a definitive one would it put his mind at ease?