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#1 of 7 Old 03-30-2003, 01:48 AM - Thread Starter
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My almost 6 yr old dd is driving me crazy. She has her own bed, but has slept with me and her Dad most of the night always. I put her to sleep in my bed nowadays(Dh and I are separated) and stay until she is almost asleep and then say I have to go to the bathroom or something, so I can leave the room. She is a very dramatic and emotional child. I cannot say I am going downstairs or she freaks out about how she doesn't want to be alone, the crying goes on and on. So about one to two hours later she wakes up crying and crying and she "Is just missing me and where was I?"
I would think it had to do with the separation, but she has always done something similar to this when waking up in the night. I need some space for myself in the evenings! I am sorry if it is selfish, but I have always needed space and I feel like I am going crazy if I don't get some!
I have assured her a million times that I am not leaving her. I am right here in the house, but it's always the same.
Any ideas, suggestions?

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#2 of 7 Old 03-30-2003, 11:57 AM
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I'm probably not going to much help, but here I go anyway .

How would she react if you simply told her you are leaving the room when you leave? The same? Just asking, since I thought maybe she was worried because she though you were only going to the bathroom, but then you didn't come back. I just reread the post and I see that she would probably cry if you did this...

Maybe she could sleep on the couch, if that is closer to you. I don't know how much sleep she'd actually get, but maybe you could tell her no talking, getting up, etc. for being allowed to sleep on the couch. Maybe you could use something like a baby monitor or a walkie talkie set, so that when she wakes up and you're not there she can speak to you without getting upset.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with this. I hope you're both doing okay with the separation.

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#3 of 7 Old 03-30-2003, 05:53 PM - Thread Starter
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Thanks Torie,
I have thought about the walkie talkies, we do have a decent pair. I guess I will just have to try it to find out. It's only a few hours that I go down stairs to sew or something. I have tried staying in the room with a dim light, but then she just keeps on talking to me.
I try to remind my self that there will be time when she will want to be with her friends and won't care where I am-but it's still hard now.
Thanks for listening.
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#4 of 7 Old 03-30-2003, 08:00 PM
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I guess I really believe that what a child really most deserves is a parent who is not being driven crazy. Thus, I think co-sleeping is great for people who love it. But I think it is does a disservice to the child for those whose parents really feel like they are being driven crazy by the lack of alone time.

It is hard at age 6 to have to adjust to a new plan. Explain to your daughter that you will no longer be staying with her at night. Discuss that you understand how she feels and ask her if she can think of anything that would help her to be alone. If this does not work Ask you doctor for any advice, even to talk to someone about this like a therapist.
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#5 of 7 Old 03-30-2003, 09:21 PM
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There has to be a balance between mommy's needs and your daughter's needs. I would tell her that she can continue to sleep with you, but only if she can give you the space you need and not have tantrums when you leave for a minute or two. I would explain that as things are right now, you don't really feel like sharing your bed anymore. And then ask for her input on how to "solve the problem" so that you both get what you need.
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#6 of 7 Old 03-30-2003, 10:34 PM
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I am having a similar problem with my almost 4 yr old. She recently moved from our bed to a sleeping bag on our floor. She refuses to stay in the bedroom (hers or mine) at bedtime, and both her sleep and my patience is suffering for it. (not to mention the relationship between my husband and I) I have read the suggestions here, and it has given me some food for thought. Does anyone else have suggestions?
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#7 of 7 Old 03-30-2003, 10:38 PM
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Moving this to nightwakimg for maybe more advice!

Amy - Blessed wife to Jesse (the best dad in the world), mother of 10 on earth plus 8 in heaven.   PROUD to be a Catholic! : winner.jpg familybed2.gifhomeschool.gif

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